With the success of the first installment of the With Leather Awesome Celebrity Baseball Fan Tracker last week, I decided that we had to explore the darker side of famous fans. And hoo boy, are there some seriously embarrassing celebrity fans out there. But in fairness to the good fans out there, a lot of them – motions upward with eyes – are just fake fans, using our beloved national pastime as a chance to extend their 15 minutes a few more seconds.

As mentioned in the previous post – updated maps forthcoming – I don’t want the burden of being the ultimate deciding factor in putting together this thorough directory of which famous d-bags and dolts love which baseball teams. So I want you to make your recommendations in the comments for celebrities that I’ve missed, and I know that there are plenty.

But I also urge you to speak out in defense of any actor, musician, politician or generally famous person who I may have slighted by labeling an embarrassing fan. With the NBA and NHL playoffs ending in a few weeks – and they’re both already over for me – we’re in for a long summer. Let’s spend it creating productive dialog, shall we?

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19-year old Washington Nationals rookie sensation Bryce Harper hit his first Major League home run during the third inning of Monday’s 8-5 win over the San Diego Padres. This brings him even with three-time MVP Albert Pujols on the season and puts him only 761 behind all-time leader Barry Bonds. It was a moment of celebration, especially for Washington-area sports writers who could not write “Bryce Harper hit a home run” in less than six paragraphs.

Harper’s opinion of his first home run ball is, to date, my very favorite:

After the game, the ball was sitting in his locker with “1st ML HR” written on it in ballpoint pen. The keepsake was going to get a place alongside his first home run ever — at around age 7 — and other mementos. He had a hard time remembering other saved items.

“I don’t really keep track,” Harper said. “All my stuff is in just a box. Posters, magazines — I don’t really care.” (via Sports Illustrated)

Somewhere out there, a nation of teenage girls who’d swoon if they knew young people played sports are swooning.

Of course, there are tons of “there are no words”-esque comments from Harper and his teammates to put the homer in a proper perspective, but I’m pretending they don’t. I want the Nationals to win the World Series on a Bryce Harper 9th-inning walk-off this season just for that moment when he’s interviewed after the game, shrugs and says “whatever, I’m outta here” before sulking away.

Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers has hit six home runs in the series against the Baltimore Orioles, including Tuesday’s game wherein he became only the sixth player in the history of the American League to hit four homers in a single game. He went 5-for-5 and drove in eight runs, four of which were Elvis Andrus and four of which were himself. Believe it or not, that’s not the highlight for me.

I grew up in Virginia as an O’s fan (before moving to Cleveland and discovering how much more fun perennial losing is when it’s racist), so the coolest and most mythic thing you can do at Oriole Park in Camden Yards is bank a ball off the B&O Warehouse in right. Ken Griffey Jr. did it during the 1993 Home Run Derby. I’ve sworn for years that I saw Pete Incaviglia do it once during batting practice, but I can’t verify it.

During Thursday’s game, Josh Hamilton hit the warehouse. Not only that, he hit a window on the second floor of it. Excuse me as I revert back to 13-year old me and say, “holy sh*t”. Video is below.

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No matter how many home runs Josh Hamilton hits or how many Austrian newspapers refer to him as an ex-junkie for doing so, the story of the 2012 baseball season thus far has and will continue to be the struggles of Albert Pujols.

Some call it a slump. Some call it penance for what he did to the St. Louis Cardinals. Some just enjoy typing their favorite slurs behind a hashtag. Regardless, the Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim et al. have found themselves at the bottom of the AL West with nothing but the hope of a quick turnaround from El West Coast Hombre to save them.

Will it happen? Who knows? Today’s Dugout explores that question. It’s after e’jump.

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I want to be best friends with this picture.

Back in March, New Era released its latest Major League Baseball “rivalry” commercial, starring The Office’s Craig Robinson and Parks and Rec’s Nick Offerman as feuding Chicago White Sox and Cubs fans, respectively. The ad was, as expected, phenomenal, because Robinson and Offerman are two of the most lovable comedic actors in show business. But it also led me to quickly ponder which MLB teams have the best celebrity fans, not in terms of notoriety, but celebrities that we generally love.

The White Sox have Robinson, the Cubs have Offerman (Bill Murray and John Cusack, among others) and the St. Louis Cardinals have Jon Hamm. That was basically the immediate conclusion that we came to. However, I also made a hypothetical comment regarding Paul Rudd being a Kansas City Royals fan, and of course it turns out that he’s a lifelong Royals fan* and he was at Game 6 of the 1985 World Series.

In fact, he even helped organize a charity wiffle ball game last year with Royals legend George Brett, as well as Will Ferrell, Rob Riggle, Jason Sudeikis, David Koechner and Hamm. I feel like this should have been much bigger news at the time. But the reason I’m bringing this all up now is for our new With Leather Interactive Awesome Celebrity Baseball Fan Tracker, which we will be updating all summer long.

After the jump, check out Rudd talking about his life as a Royals fan, and help us put together the most elaborate and definitive list of awesome celebrity baseball fans this world has ever seen by leaving your suggestions in the comments. They have to be actual fans of the teams. As much as I want to say, “Rachel Bilson and Mila Kunis are Cardinals fans”, it doesn’t work that way.

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The Phillie Phanatic (a person/bird/thing I legitimately love more than most members of my family) is out for revenge. After traveling home to the Galapagos Islands to learn about his heritage and selflessly building homes for the less fortunate, what does he find? That a recent poll from the celebrity Davie-Brown Index ranked him as only the second-best mascot in the game … behind Mr. Met.

And yeah, I’m guessing the poll was 80% New Yorkers naming the only mascot they could remember, but that’s a travesty. A Jim Henson creation who has set the bar for mascot excellence for almost 40 years finishes behind a guy with a baseball head, because “baseball”. A f**king disgrace.

The Phanatic paid a visit to the New York Mets announce booth to address the situation, if we take “address the situation” to mean “polish Gary Cohen’s head” and make people wear cheesesteak hats. At least he got Cohen to say he likes his with whiz. The Phanatic isn’t as aggressive as I’d like him to be.

Video is below.

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