Tonight’s the big night: for an entry fee of only ten bucks, you could end up as one of 15 finalists competing for a $100,000 grand prize playing FanDuel fantasy baseball in Las Vegas. If you missed our announcement earlier in the week, here are the details:

The FanDuel Daily Fantasy Baseball Championship consists of 15 Friday qualifying tournaments that are only $10 to enter. Each weekly tournament has over $3000 in prizes, but if you win one of the 15 qualifying tournaments, you and a friend win an all expenses paid trip to the Palazzo in Las Vegas the weekend of July 28 & 29. There, the 15 finalists will compete for $250,000 in cash prizes in a one-day fantasy baseball game with the winner taking home $100,000. Again, it’s only $10 to enter and you can enter as many teams as you want.

That’s not something you want to miss out on, is it? You could win more money than most people make in a year by saying “I think I’ll pick Mike Trout tonight” and clicking a button. That’s incredible, isn’t it? All you have to do right now is say “I think I’ll play Brandon’s cool fantasy thing” and click a button. This button. And hell, even if you don’t like baseball, find somebody who does and try to win a trip to Vegas.

(Sign up now!)

Whereas 2011 was a high point in investigative journalism with the Jerry Sandusky and Bernie Fine cases, 2012 is clearly the year of streaker news. Already, our good friend Jon Bois at SB Nation has been keeping incredible track of the baseball season’s early abundance of streakers – most notably in Baltimore – but last night’s game between the Cardinals and Phillies at Busch Stadium marked the pinnacle in the journalistic attention to naked dudes.

Between our other good friend Matt Sebek from Joe Sports Fan and Yahoo! baseball writer Jeff Passan, we were given a clinic on how you cover and investigate a naked man on a baseball field. Thanks to Passan, we know that last night’s Busch streaker is 22-year old Jefferson Cirty landscaper Collin Grundstrom – talk about a Yard Crasher! *slide whistle* – and we also learned that he rushed the field for the most important reason of all – why the f*ck not?

“I’m gonna streak,” he announced at the beginning of the St. Louis Cardinals-Philadelphia Phillies game to those within earshot of Section 133, Row 5, Seat 4. At first, they chuckled. Then they started to believe him. Which was followed by attempts to dissuade him. And ultimate acceptance that, yes, Grundstrom was gonna streak, and it was only a matter of when.

“He was very nonchalant,” said Sheila Welch, a Cardinals fan who sat behind Grundstrom. “I tried to tell him he’d go to jail. He didn’t care. I hope his friend thinks that was awesome.”

The most important aspect of this story – even more important than that incredibly well-taken banner image – is that Grundstrom has a large tattoo across his midsection and Passan also pointed out that it reads: “Hakuna Matata”. It means no worries for the rest of your life, except when a fat security guard is Tazing you.

Video after the jump, via Joe Sports Fan, and while it’s taken from a distance, it is still a naked dude so use your discretion.

Joe Sports Fan also answered the most important question: Does the bush match the Busch? (Very NSFW) To which the answer is: Dude, I didn’t look.

(Original banner image via)

We’re running another fantasy baseball game this week with our pals from FanDuel.com, and if you haven’t been won over by the ability to win cash in free games or toss in a few bucks and win a few hundred making me look like a chump, hold on to your butts.

The FanDuel Daily Fantasy Baseball Championship consists of 15 Friday qualifying tournaments that are only $10 to enter. Each weekly tournament has over $3000 in prizes, but if you win one of the 15 qualifying tournaments, you and a friend win an all expenses paid trip to the Palazzo in Las Vegas the weekend of July 28 & 29. There, the 15 finalists will compete for $250,000 in cash prizes in a one-day fantasy baseball game with the winner taking home $100,000. Again, it’s only $10 to enter and you can enter as many teams as you want.

Yo dawg, I heard you like fantasy games in your fantasy games

But no, seriously, for this week’s game you can sign up for only $10 and end up winning $100,000. That is insane. I’m counting on a Jimmy from The Wizard style run here to send me to the championships. CALIFORRRRRNIA.

(Sign up now!)

One of my all-time favorite things to do is scour the depths of Etsy for random crap, because it’s just amazing how much awesomely ridiculous stuff people can create and sell on the Internet these days. But nothing gets my PayPal account pumping more than the sports gear that dedicated Etsy sellers have whipped up, and that’s why I want to devote this new weekly feature to finding my favorite Etsy sports merchandise, starting with that Tim Tebow pillar candle above.

Sure, I just pointed out that Tebow’s got a team of trademark-happy lawyers that are suing people for making things that don’t even mention the New York Jets backup QB’s name, but that’s not going to stop any of us from grabbing one of these $5 candles and letting the Jets fan upstairs know that we’re pushing for Tebow to get the other New York team a Super Bowl win.

After the jump, get in the gift-giving mood, because Etsy’s got every sport covered…

These custom kicks celebrate Robert Griffin III’s alma mater with unique style for the low price of $35. But don’t worry, non-Baylor fans. You can get any school done, and I will post a picture of my DeVry shoes as soon as they arrive.

I don’t know what Toms are, but these look like the shoes of World Champions. For just $90, your feet can be the classiest and most intelligent of all baseball feet. WARNING: Shoes may send you to the DL.

While not necessarily a brand new style, these tank top and jersey skirts have been heating up arenas across the country. Priced at $40, there’s no better way to support your team as you’re presumably sprinting to your car as people are trying to kill you.

At $150, these New York Knicks fashion pumps are the highest priced item this week, but they’re definitely worth every penny. Mainly because you’ll need them to fight off J.R. Smith’s sister.

I really don’t know what this Randy “Macho Man” Savage dictionary portrait is all about, but for only $5 I want to cover my entire bedroom wall with them.

We’ve all been there: You’re tailgating for the Daytona 500 and hammered drunk, but all of your friends keep showing up for your classic Natty Ice burgers. Who’s going to man the grill when you’re passed out with a Winston Select hanging from your bottom lip? For $19, your toddler can with this one-of-a-kind NASCAR toddler apron.

What better way to introduce your infants to the reality that your favorite players will never stay with your team when their contracts expire than by giving them personalized NFL onesies? Especially when none of the $24.95 goes to the player or the team!

I don’t know what a diaper cake is, but it sounds disgusting. But for $60, I just had to order UPROXX’s resident Phillies fan, Danger Guerrero, a dozen of them. One for him, and 11 to throw at Cliff Lee.

If you thought that Tim Tebow heading to the Big Apple wasn’t a big deal, then you were so very wrong. There were more items than I could choose from, but I thought this adorable $75 Tim Tebow sock monkey would make a perfect gift for any child who has never been subpoenaed.

I have no idea.

Not the bees! AHHHHHHH Ahgarbulagabah my eyes! my eyes! AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHhhhurgh!

Coors Field and the Colorado Rockies were overrun by a swarm of bees during Thursday afternoon’s game against the Arizona Diamondbacks, and because DenverPost.com used “Coors Field was buzzing” and “bee-lieve it” puns in the first two sentences of their report, I’ll let them handle the recap:

In the fifth inning, a swarm of bees staked claim to a post in a camera well near the Rockies’ dugout. The sudden invasion by the winged creatures sent Rockies players scurrying to the opposite end of the dugout.

The game was halted briefly when Diamondbacks first-base coach Eric Young Sr. was forced away from his position, and photographers and TV cameramen fled the bees. The players never left the diamond.

Here’s the video, if you’re into plague footage:

My favorite part is the idea that jabbing a vacuum nozzle into a wad of bees and sucking them through a hose isn’t going to hurt them. If you push a bee hard enough with your finger its legs fall off and it stings you until it dies. Actually, no, I take it back, my favorite part of the video is how a random bee-keeping dude just HAPPENED to be at Coors Field that night. A bee-keeper is in the house when thousands of bees descend upon the stadium and cause chaos? That’s some pretty obvious supervillain sh*t right there. Send Batman after this guy. Or Will Rhymes, whoever’s available.

[h/t to Fark Sports]

Since winning the 2011 World Series, the St. Louis Cardinals have had a special motto during their road trips – #HappyFlight. Because most of the guys on the roster came up with each other in the minors, they have one of those brotherly bond things happening that I’m sure is only slightly less annoying to non-Cardinals fans than hearing about how their fans, of which I am one, are the classiest and most intelligent in baseball. *tilts top hat, spits tobacco juice*

But as for those happy flights, the Cardinals just try to have fun and keep everyone happy, which is why they showed up to AT&T Park yesterday wearing the goofiest outfits they could find. Led by David Freese, who wore some sort of Dr. Seuss-mescaline-inspired red tuxedo, and Lance Berkman in a bright pink ruffled tux, the reigning world champs shot a torpedo of hilarity into the bond between fashion and sports. And then they hit the field and committed 3 errors to hand the game to the San Francisco Giants.

Perhaps before they play the Los Angeles Dodgers today, they can wear cargo nets between their legs.

David Freese and Lance Berkman

David Freese and Matt Carpenter

David Freese and Matt Holliday

(Images via David Freese’s WhoSay)

Tonight’s fantasy baseball game through FanDuel is one of the best deals we’ve ever offered: for only one dollar (remembering that you’ve probably got a dollar in loose change in your couch right now) you can enter, set up your own fantasy squad for Friday night and win money from a $300 cash pool. A dollar. The bandage they used to stop Bryce Harper’s head from bleeding cost more than a dollar. The server space required to let you click this post comfortably cost more than a dollar.

Here’s how to play:

Signing up is quick and easy, and you’ll get a chance to turn a dollar into several while I draft Jered Weaver and watch him give up 15 runs to the Padres. Make your dollar count!

SIGN UP NOW!

This video was taken, but if you mute it it looks exactly like a Matchbox Twenty concert. Bring up “Push” in another window and you’ll see what I mean. (via D Wizzle’s World]

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To celebrate her 24th birthday and status as Penthouse’s June Pet of the Month, Alexis Ford invited more than a dozen of her peers to party with her at With Leather’s unofficial headquarters, Rick’s Cabaret, in New York City. You may know Ford from her work in such adult classics as This Ain’t Jaws XXX, Cheerleaders Academy 1 and 2, Women Seeking Women 55, Captive Costume Queens and, of course, Brave Businesswomen’s Bondage Peril. I own two copies of that last one.

And while Ford apparently forgot to send a couple of invites to us, her party was ultimately the place to be, as evidenced by a little birdie telling us that one professional baseball player was quite adamant about meeting the star of Squirt Girl.

Elise added, “There was a famous baseball player who started the night in the Champagne Lounge on Rick’s Cabaret’s first floor, and he heard about the party upstairs and asked if he could meet Ms. Ford. When he met her he gave her a loving bear hug and whispered something into her ear that made her smile.”

We asked Rick’s Cabaret New York spokesman Lonnie Hanover to identify the baseball player, but he declined, saying “We respect everyone’s privacy at Rick’s Cabaret.” (Our research shows that the Tampa Bay Rays were in town against the Yankees.)

“Rick’s Cabaret Girl Alundra purred, “I got to give the birthday girl a dance and it was a thrill. Alexis Ford is so sexy. I wanted to rip her clothes off.”

I just remembered that I forgot to get my morning coffee, but I’ll have to wait a few minutes for that now. In the meantime, we can play my favorite new game: “Which Baseball Player Snuck Into Alexis Ford’s Birthday Party?”

I think the inclusion of the information about the Tampa Bay Rays is meant to mislead us. For starters, Evan Longoria is clearly the first bro-dude we’d all think of crashing porn star parties at strip clubs, but 1) he’s injured and 2) he already has his hands full with Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson. But maybe that’s all just a clever smokescreen. Maybe it’s just a way to convince us that it’s not actually Joba Chamberlain. Quit playing mind games, inside tipsters!

I’m just going to assume it was Rays second baseman Will Rhymes and that’s why he was so seemingly sleepy when he was hit by a pitch last night.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering what a porn star birthday party looks like, well, here’s the PG-13 version.

Will Rhymes just found out he could’ve put in a dollar (one measly stinkin’ dollar) and won money from a $300 cash pool with FanDuel/With Leather fantasy baseball. What, too soon? He’s fine, shut up.

Anyway, this week’s game is exactly that: nothing fancy, just the chance to turn one dollar into several. Here’s how to play:

If you’ve never played fantasy baseball with us before, this is your time to throw in … there’s almost no way to lose. And if you lose, you’re out a buck. You’ve got better odds than a scratch ticket, plus you get to watch a bunch of baseball, talk about a bunch of baseball and beat me in a fantasy sports game. Yeah, that’s about as hard as finding a dollar, but shut up again.

Go here and sign up now, because the game starts tomorrow night. It should be a fun one. Hopefully I don’t get hit in the arm by a ball and draft Mariano Rivera for my outfield.