The 82nd Major League Baseball All-Star Game took place at Chase Field in Phoenix last night, and it appears that the American League’s era of dominance has come to an end. The National League All-Stars won the game 5-1, marking their second consecutive win over the AL losers, who had won the previous 60 All-Star Games or something like that. The NL, of course, now possesses home-field advantage for the World Series, because baseball is run by nincompoops who think this is a good idea. Seriously, how has this not been passed off as a bad joke yet?
Prince Fielder hit a 3-run home run in the bottom of the 4th inning off Texas Rangers pitcher C.J. Wilson to give the NL the only offense it would need, after Boston’s Adrian Gonzalez hit a solo shot in the top of the inning. L.A.’s Andre Ethier and San Francisco’s Pablo Sandoval each added a RBI for the NL to cushion the victory. And all the while, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver shared stories about players that none of us could bear listening to. But in case you skipped the game or you just chose not to watch it, I’ve put together this hasty retelling of last night’s action (not entirely in order, mind you). For full appreciation, pull a sheet over your head, fart, inhale it as deep as you can, and then talk like Buck for the next few minutes.