According to people who keep a much closer watch on who athletes are dating than we do, Detroit Tigers ace Justin Verlander has been in a relationship with the same girl since college. But apparently that may have changed recently – or perhaps during the filming of a certain video game commercial – as the big news about arguably the best pitcher in baseball – who was shelled in the first inning of last night’s MLB All-Star Game – wasn’t that he would start for the American League, but that he might be dating… Kate Upton.

The comely blonde model, a native of St. Joseph, Mich., was seen by several fans in Verlander’s suite at the Palace of Auburn Hills at last Thursday’s Aerosmith concert. The two stars were joined by her BFF, model Lizzy Glynn, and his pal Frank Viola, Jr. (son of Minnesota Twins’ pitcher Frank Viola). (Via HuffPo)

Does “comely” mean obese cannibal? Wait, no. It means attractive. Thank God, I didn’t want to rant again. But the double date indeed happen, with the younger Viola even removing his pants to appease Upton’s BFF for the mechanical bull ride.

Ever since Upton showed up at a recent Tigers game and *GASP!* might have drank an alcoholic beverage – because 19-year olds never drink – there was buzz as to why this New York Yankees fan and professed Florida native suddenly had an interest in her real home state again. And now we possibly know why.

But if Verlander and Upton are actually an item, I urge her Internet boyfriends to remain calm and not be too upset. After all, it could be much MUCH worse. She could be dating Bryce Harper.

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The Big Lead has done a lot for the online sports blogging community, but its finest work may be this clip of John Kruk eating ribs during last night’s Home Run Derby. In slow motion. With the Chariots Of Fire theme playing over it.

If you want to see it (and haven’t been dissuaded too severely by that screen grab of Kruk sucking on his middle finger), the video that exists for some reason is after the jump.

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The 2012 MLB Home Run Derby took place last night in Kansas City’s Kauffman Stadium (the one with the fountains), and if you were like most people you had a passing interest, got bored, then spent a little time on Twitter trying to make Chris Berman’s incessant “BECK BECK BECK BECK BECK” thing funny. You have have compared him to a chicken. It happens.

In the event that you didn’t have seven hours to kill watching dudes congratulate themselves, we’ve collected all the important moments MLB.com would allow us without expressed written consent … that includes a pair of monster home runs, Robinson Cano getting a reaction that made Yankees fans break out their shame fingers and a Royals fan who gets greedy and nearly ends up drowned in the fountain. It was all the fun you’d expect from a home run derby, only it took seven hours.

Up first, here’s Robinson Cano getting his feelings hurt:

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If you haven’t been following the story of Los Angles Angels rookie Mike Trout this season, here’s the gist: he’s everything you want to like about Bryce Harper without all the things you hate about Bryce Harper.

Via AOL FanHouse:

[J.J.] Hardy thought he had his 12th home run of the season in the bottom of the first inning after he drove Jered Weaver’s breaking ball to deep right-center field. Trout ran all the way back to the warning track, leaped up and snagged the ball over his head before it landed beyond the fence. Trout hit the wall, landed on his feet and may have been more excited than Angels fans watching.

“Now that is Torii Hunter, circa 2002 against Barry Bonds in the All-Star Game,” the Angels announcer said as Trout celebrated the highlight.

Because they called it out by name, here’s that very Bonds clip for your comparing/contrasting needs:

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Major League Baseball can’t figure out what to do about steroids, the way their division are aligned, the way their playoffs are structured or declining attendance, but they can fix what’s important: according to MLB.com, league has announced that they will set up computer stations next to team clubhouses that will allow players to use Twitter and Facebook during the 2012 All-Star Game. So if you were wondering how you’d get through 4-7 hours of Josh Hamilton not immediately telling you what he thinks of the Wreck-It Ralph teaser trailer or throwing in on the latest #thingsblackpeoplesay trend, your concerns have been addressed.

The pitch, from NESN:

After the success of last year’s “Social Media Derby,” where players were allowed to tweet during the Home Run Derby, the league decided to expand its social media offerings to the actual All-Star Game as well.

“At its core, baseball is a social activity, so it’s natural that social media has become such a huge part of how fans enjoy the game today,” said Tim Brosnan, a MLB executive. “This initiative will bring fans closer than ever to their favorite players, resulting in what will no doubt be the most ‘social’ events in baseball history.”

Shorter version: Now ESPN won’t show you clips of players sitting on the field with their kids, they’ll show them standing at a computer kiosk and you can go to @therealmiketrout or whatever and read “having fun with my kids!”. Solid improvement, guys.

I’m more interested in the running tweet commentary for the players who didn’t make the All-Star Game. Can we get Tim Brosnan to set up an Internet cafe in Nyjer Morgan’s living room?

Chances are about 70% of our updates for the next week and a half are going to involve Kate Upton in a baseball cap, so here’s another one, but at least this one has a moral. Watch with differing levels of delight as Chris Pratt from Parks and Recreation fails to properly operate a camera while interviewing celebrity softballers Upton and Erin Andrews about their roles in the week’s festivities (note: based on this and other videos, their role was to laugh affably while people pressured them to get naked). Andrews and Upton show off the respective Red Sox and Yankees patches on their jerseys because those are the only two teams that exist, prompting Kate to ask Pratt what’s on his.

Now, if Kate Upton asked me what was on anything of mine I would faint like a fat Victorian lady, but I’m not Andy Dwyer (or Scott Hatteberg). Pratt tries to play it off with a joke, but the women are wondering what the hell he’s doing sporting nautical iconography on his jersey, so he explains it with the kind of honest sports answer that makes jerks like me a fan of his for life.

I’m a Mariners fan from Seattle, so that’s why I came here. My wife and I are both from Seattle, and we love the Mariners.

Awesome. I like to think Kate Upton had a Cosmo Canyon planetarium moment and is going to spend the next two weeks googling “Mariners” and laughing at the moose.

Of course, Wikipedia tells me Pratt was born in Minnesota (and his wife, actress Anna Faris, is from Baltimore), but I won’t hold that against them. Where you’re from is where you feel like you’re from, and even though I only spent four years living in Ohio I refer to myself as being “from Cleveland”. Besides, I would feel terrible if I found out one of my favorite TV characters liked the Twins.