Here’s a quick update on Dancing With The C-List Celebrities: Olympian and occasional object of underhanded lust Misty May-Treanor bowed out last night with a leg injury. So ballroom dancing is now officially more dangerous than beach volleyball, but still significantly less sexy. Look how bundled up she is!

“I heard a pop,” said May-Treanor, who was practicing the jive on the show’s ballroom set when she ruptured her left Achilles tendon. “I was doing the Lindy Hop. I thought I flew out of control and hit the judges’ stairs, or it felt like I got hit in the back with a baseball bat. Then, I just couldn’t put weight on it.”

May-Treanor, who had a previous knee injury from playing volleyball, and her professional partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, had been a formidable dancing duo, scoring a 21 out of 30 for their previous foxtrot, mambo and paso double routines. Co-host Samantha Harris said what May-Treanor’s early exit means for the competition would be revealed on Tuesday’s show

Thank God she has a good body. That picture almost looks like somebody tried to put lipstick on a shark. A goth shark…that likes European men. Whoa, I think I just wrote the treatment for the next Underworld sequel. And it’s not even noon.

[The AP]

ABC will subject us to yet another season of "Dancing with the Stars," and as usual there are several athletes in the lineup of contestants.  Former NFL star/current lardass Warren Sapp will join Olympic gold medalists Maurice Green and Misty May-Treanor on ballroom dancing's most televised stage. 

A record 13 dancers will compete on the show. Included are the program's youngest dancer ever — 18-year-old Cody Linley of the popular Disney Channel show "Hannah Montana" — and its oldest, 82-year-old actress Cloris Leachman.

Others contestants include singers Lance Bass and Toni Braxton, Emmy-winning soap actress Susan Lucci, reality-show participant Kim Kardashian, television actor Ted McGinley, chef Rocco DiSpirito, television personality/model Brooke Burke and stand-up comedian Jeffrey Ross.

Wow, that's impressive.  Some of these people I've actually heard of before.  We're talking D-List, even C-list celebrities.  Why, in another three or four seasons, there might even be genuine stars on this show.

And now for a much-delayed Olympics update…

Lotta shit went wrong for the US of A in the however long since I last wrote about the Olympics.  Both the men's and women's 4×100 relay teams screwed the pooch by dropping their batons.  Our softball ladies somehow lost to Japan in the gold-medal game.  And although America got a sweep in the 400, the media has to be upset that super-fast white guy Jeremy Wariner took silver behind LaShawn Merritt.

Thankfully, there was Misty May-Treanor, Kerri Walsh, a beach volleyball court, and lots of rain.  I, for one, am supremely happy China fucked up the cloud-seeding that was supposed to prevent rain during the Olympics, because beach volleyball in the rain is approximately 3000% percent better than it is when it's sunny.  Just look at these pictures from the end of the May-Walsh straight-sets victory over the Chinese for gold.  They're soaked to the bone and ecstatic to be in each other's arms.  After all those matches of concentration and focused teamwork, they can finally strip out of those wet bikinis and take a hot shower… together… give in to the rush of serotonin coursing through their brains, the joyous moment of victory leading to a long hug… then their prolonged eye contact leads to mischievous smiles…

HEY!  Is it warm in here?  Also, the U.S. women's soccer team just defeated Brazil 1-0 in overtime for the gold medal.  Way to go, ladies!  Victory showers for everyone!

As noted in this morning's Net, the photo of the weekend comes from USA Today (via Deadspin), which followed President George Bush's continuing tour of the Olympic Games as he met with beach volleyball goddesses Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh.

On Friday, when President Bush met U.S. athletes ahead of the the opening ceremonies, beach volleyball star May-Treanor asked him to slap her lower back, a common gesture in her sport. He declined. But on the practice courts of the Olympic volleyball venue… the bikini-clad May-Treanor tried again. And this time, he couldn't resist.

"Show me something out there!" Bush urged May-Treanor and partner Kerri Walsh, who promised him "We'll make you proud."

Needless to say, I'm completely unfit to be president.  "Spank me, Mr. President!"  "No, spank me!"  "Ladies, ladies… I'm a busy man.  I don't have time to– actually, why don't you go ahead and drop trou."

In other Olympic Bush reports, LeBron James greeted former president George H.W. Bush by saying, "What's up, pops."  No word on whether Bron offered his lower back for a slap.  I say yes.

A must-read for the coming weeks is D.C. Sports Bog, which has been temporarily renamed "Beijing Sports Smog" while author Dan Steinberg reports from the Olympic Games.  Will he push the limits of China's tolerance for a free press and get arrested?  Do political prisons have Wi-Fi?  I can't wait to find out.

While Steinz is in transit to the land of pandas and dragons, here's video of him asking various Olympians what their favorite Chinese food is.  Believe me, I had a "lettuce wrap from P.F. Chang's" joke all fired up and ready to go, but some athletes actually named P.F. Chang's in their responses, which kinda ruined it for me.  So instead, just enjoy Misty May-Treanor's enthusiastic Chinese accent.  Ha ha, she sounds so funny!  Isn't it silly the way she's trying to embrace a foreign culture?