Texas A&M and Missouri are currently in their honeymoon period before they begin playing in the new and even more improved SEC, and things are already to an, um, interesting start. First, there was this little tidbit about someone’s photoshop tribute to the Missouri Tigers and the Confederacy, which had Mizzou athletics in a little bit of an uproar with my buddy @ParadigmShift35. But then the Aggies decided to make things really awkward, like whenever I take off my pants at Disney.

I don’t really have much to say about the video after the jump, because no description I can write for it will do it justice. It’s almost like they’re already rolling over and shouting, “As long as the championship stays in the conference!” Because that’s an awesome battle cry.

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All four No. 1 teams remain as the Sweet 16 is ready for Thursday’s NCAA Tournament action, and I’d say that’s pretty remarkable considering how crazy these games have been. Two 2-seeds and two 3-seeds have been booted, and a few of them were heavy favorites to win it all – especially by one certain jackass, who had Missouri defeating Florida State in the National Championship game. Ha, I mean who could be that stupid? *loosens tie, looks around nervously*

But you guys, you’re the real prognosticators, as there were 8 freaking upsets on Friday and 22 commenters correctly guessed 5 of them. Well, 22 people guessed the winners and 2 people didn’t bother including scores, so *fart noise* to them. Unfortunately, the rules only permitted 5 winners. Hmmm, 5 upsets and just 5 t-shirts, I wonder if that means that the prediction with the closest score from each upset wins a t-shirt. Yes, that’s exactly what it means.

Without further ado, Friday’s big swag winners are:

NC State 79, SDSU 65: “Guest” (71-67)
Ohio 65, Michigan 60: “Starks” (64-58)
Purdue 72, St. Mary’s 69: “SenatorThimble” (74-66)
USF 58, Temple 44: “UFGrad” (60-53)
Xavier 67, ND 63: “Mighty914″ (69-65)
UPDATE: “Mattox” had Lehigh over Duke. And “Codename Duchess” also had the closer score on Xavier over ND, so you two email me addresses and shirt sizes. Apologies.

(Disclaimer: Previous shirt winners were excluded, not that it really mattered.)

Congrats, you Miss Cleos, and email me your addresses and shirt sizes to BurnsyWL@gmail.com. All you other disenfranchised and discouraged Nostradamuses, keep your chins up, because we’ll be back Thursday with another giveaway. There will be t-shirts (including the most limited edition vintage style) and possibly much, much more, pending the results of my robot that was designed to steal Kate Upton’s underwear. Oh no, why did I give it the ability to sniff?

Leave your expressions of rage, rotten produce and stories of bracket pool grief in the comments.

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We’re gonna roll out a couple more posts before we head out today, but first I want to address a question in the comments of this Cam Newton post. Fellow Leatherhead Sandra left this inquiry about the general grumpiness directed toward the former Auburn quarterback, with my emphasis added.

I am looking for a serious and well thought out argument outside of the usual regurgitated media stuff as to why Cam isn’t a good fit anywhere in the NFL but Blaine Gabbert is?

First of all, I never brought up Blaine Gabbert. Sandra did, which is annoying. It’s like when you rave about Five Guys and somebody chirps, “Yeah, but it’s not as good as In-N-Out.” Who mentioned In-N-Out? That’s not the point. The point is that an NFL team is going to make this decision–and bet millions of dollars in doing so. Sandra asks fair question, and though I don’t necessarily agree with its premise, let’s answer it. I WORK FOR YOU, PEOPLE. Read the rest of this entry »

On Monday, the Kansas Jayhawks whooped the stripes off the Missouri Tigers to the tune of 103-86. But fans at the game may not have realized it because they were distracted by a live episode of Glee that broke out in the stands. The students involved with the Jayhawk Buddy System captivated the 16,300 fans at Phog Allen Fieldhouse with a surprise flash mob dance. The mission statement of the Buddy System is promoting “smart decision-making on the part of students.” And I’m sure they thought about that when they were getting wedgies after the game.

All kidding aside, it’s great when students show a combination of team pride and safety awareness at sporting events, but it’s even greater when I nitpick their performances. Hey Buddy System, the point of a flash mob – as overdone as they are now – is to pop up out of nowhere, like you did, and to sit back down like nothing ever happened. Way to pat yourselves on the back at the end. At least the team didn’t let the rest of us down.

Video after the jump…

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A few weeks ago, when it was announced that star players Derrell Johnson-Koulianos and Adam Robinson would not be playing for the Iowa Hawkeyes in the Insight Bowl, it seemed a certainty that the team was doomed against the No. 12 Missouri Tigers. Well drug charges and academic violations be damned, because the Hawkeyes won and captured the hearts of millions of people. Or not. Just thought it might make the story better.

Led by backup running back Marcus Coker’s 33 carries for a school bowl record 219 yards, the Hawkeyes got ahead early and had Mizzou flustered most of the game, ultimately costing me my 35-point Bowl Mania pick. Missouri took a 24-20 lead in the 4th and seemed to have the Iowa defense on the ropes as the Tigers marched, but then QB Blaine Gabbert threw an interception that can only be described as Chad Henne-esque to Micah Hyde, who returned it 72 yards for the go-ahead TD, and the rest was history. Mainly because I switched to liquor.

Koulianos, of course, was arrested on four misdemeanor drug charges and he admitted to smoking marijuana and using cocaine after he tested positive for both, and it was a given that Iowa’s all-time leading receiver was never going to play for the Hawkeyes again. Robinson, on the other hand, was suspended for academic reasons and was expected to return to the team next season. But the team’s leading rusher this season apparently decided to go a different direction on Monday night. Robinson was arrested in Des Moines for possession of Marijuana. Mary Jane. Reefer. I blame Ashton Kutcher for everything.

Iowa’s all-time leading receiver, Derrell Johnson-Koulianos, was arrested last week on four drug-related misdemeanor charges (three serious and one aggravated, according to Iowa drug laws) and since then the Iowa Hawkeyes football program has been crumbling like an eight ball at an ’86 Mets reunion. Almost immediately following DJK’s arrest for possession of marijuana and cocaine, keeping a drug house and unlawful possession of prescription drugs, Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz announced that the receiver would never play for Iowa again. Since then, two more players have added themselves to that list, while another key player was suspended.

With Iowa’s matchup against Missouri in the Insight Bowl fast approaching, the Hawkeyes are now without the team’s leading rusher, Adam Robinson. Initially, the team claimed that he violated unspecified rules but it has since been determined that Robinson’s suspension was due to academic violations. Also, RBs Jewel Hampton and Brandon Wegher will transfer. But according to school officials, this is all just one big coincidence. Even though they admitted there may be a teeny tiny problem with players cheating their drug tests.

“We did find pretty strong evidence that there are a couple of ways that our student-athletes have and probably have at some point gotten around the test in some way,” [Iowa athletic director Gary] Barta said. “That’s something that every drug testing situation, it’s almost become a cottage industry around the country, how do you beat a test.” (Via The Sports Bank)

You know how you don’t beat a drug test? By taking more drugs. And don’t ever let your dealer convince you otherwise. But Ferentz and Barta insist that there’s no scandal brewing, despite the admittance that players might be cheating on drug tests, and no additional players will be suspended for the bowl game. And that’s great news, says everyone in America as they slide Missouri to the top of their confidence rankings.