As someone who is naturally chiseled and often compared to most Greek gods (not like you, Fatasseus), I understand how seriously some people are about a proper fitness regimen. Staying in shape is not an easy task, so when it comes to hiring an assistant, it’s important to find someone who can not only complement your style and intensity, but also stay out of your way and let you work your magic. For instance, a gentleman in Vancouver recently posted an ad on Craigslist announcing his desire to find the perfect fitness assistant for his needs, and he held nothing back. No pain, no gain, ladies.

Admittedly, I just assumed the typical Vancouver workout consisted of throwing trash cans through store windows, but according to this ad after the jump, there’s so much more to it.

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Note to self: don’t ever crack Playboy jokes in front of Chris McKendry, who, to be honest, could probably do pretty well for herself if she’d get out of those drabby clothes. I don’t think Playboy’s degrading to women as much as it’s harmful to the environment, especially with those vaccuum-sealed bags. I thought the pages of the magazine were supposed to stick together after I flip through it.

|Awful Announcing|

UFFDATE: Video should be fixed now. See Bynum with one of the Mansion’s bunnies here, and check out Alana G’s footage of Bynum hula hooping with some of the Playboy Girls of Golf after the jump.

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New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress left The Bliss, a hot club in Clifton NJ, in a huff last Wednesday night:

Sources say New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress insulted female patrons there and "left the club without paying his $2,000 tab."  It seemed that Burress was upset Wednesday night because "no women were paying any attention to him."

Wow, it's good to see that professional athletes have the same problems as the rest of us.  The times I've reviled ladies at the tavern or stiffed my bartender are too numerous to count.  Of course, the barman knows where I live – he's my uncle, and the only female on the rail when I begin my "You're All Sluts" thesis is my mom.  As I stumble out after my fifteenth Stroh's, she'll call out, "Be careful dear. Don't fall asleep in your clothes again."   

"He didn't even tip his cocktail waitress," said a source, who noted that Burress and his crew "were obviously on the prowl." At one point, said the witness, Plaxico "got up from his VIP table and approached a group of girls at the bar." That's when he propositioned a female patron out of the blue. "She just yelled back, 'You've got the wrong girl,' " relates our witness.

Now that's inexcusable, you must tip your waitress.  A woman is bringing you sweet alcohol, and in this case you must employ the Vincent Antonelli method of monetary gratitude, especially if she's hot.  If anyone ever deserved a tip, it's her.  If I don't have any spare cash on me, I usually give my cocktail waitress my pants.  Especially if she's hot. -KD