I can only assume that losing a football game on a last second kick return is a dull, aching pain that makes seconds feel like years, and fans of any NFL team feel like they root for the Bills. And while I’m still only able to assume the flip side of such a situation, I can only imagine it’s like having Katy Perry showing up at my doorstep saying that she’s read all of my letters and can’t stand to be without me any longer. She may or may not be naked, but will most definitely dispense beer straight to my mouth from her teat.

Anywho, the Butler High School football team trailed their opponent by 7 with 1.8 seconds to play this past Friday night. And, as you have probably recognized by my hilarious, yet completely unnecessary introduction, they get the ball into the endzone through a series of fumbles and laterals. What happens next is sure to go down in high school lore, carved next to “for a good time, call Amanda” in bathroom stalls the school over.

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Yeah, you already saw this 800 times on the news and SportsCenter, and also on every other blog in existence. But I'm working on West Coast time today, and this needs to be part of the official record.

In case this blog is the first thing you're reading since emerging from a cave, that's the Nuggets, leading 98-95 with 1.5 seconds to play. They inbound the ball successfully and they win. Instead, Tayshaun Prince gets a hand on the ball, and Rasheed Wallace scoops it up and heaves a 60-footer to send the game into OT.

The Pistons won in overtime, 113-109. Like, obviously. The Nougats probably shouldn't have even stepped onto the court after regulation. I'm not one to break out superlatives when I'm talking about something besides myself, but this has to be one of the Top 5 regular-season game finishes in NBA history.

You know what happens when nobody in sports wants to get arrested or have sex with hot chicks? It means a slow day and unfunny jokes. Stupid athletes. DO SOMETHING!!! Something sexy or illegal. Ooh, or both! Both would be sweet.

So, here's what happens when nothing happens: I go to the metaphorical microwave and warm up some leftover highlights. This wild finish to a Chicago State-UMKC game happened just over two years ago, but it feels like it was just minutes ago that I watched it. Probably because I just watched it a few minutes ago.

I spent approximately 40% of my day on YouTube, searching "Boise State Fiesta" then hitting Refresh, waiting all damn day to get a good compilation of the FUCKING BANANAS series of hijinks that was Boise State-Oklahoma in last night's Tostitos Fiesta Bowl.

Naturally, by the time I turned this bad boy up, the rock stars at The M Zone and We Are The Postmen (again! Bastards!) already had the video up. Oh well. You can go to them for video, but you'll be back. No one brings the T&A like I do.

Anyway, here's all the late-game excitement (save Ian Johnson's well-thought-out marriage proposal).

By the way, the most enjoyable summations I've read of the game are over at Every Say Should Be Saturday and the mighty mjd. You know, if you like reading. Nerd.

Nothing like a good hunting story to propel me through the rest of my day: a Minnesota man killed three deer with a single shot on the last day of the hunting season. And no, the single shot wasn't a 500-pound bomb from an F/A-18 air strike, but an 8mm Mauser.

"By George, we got done with her, and there was another one," Olsen said. "I thought, 'Wow, two deer with one shot.'" The next morning… he went back to where he had found the doe and the yearling. "We retraced our steps, and my gosh, there's a drop of blood," he said. Olsen found the third deer – the second yearling – not far away. All three deer had fallen within 50 yards of each other, Olsen said. The bullet had passed completely through the first two deer and a piece of it had lodged in the third deer.

I'm sorry, but I can't believe this. You're telling there's some kind of — what? Magic bullet? And it just miraculously passed through all three deer? Bullshit. There was a second shooter, my friends.

Unfortunately, we'll never know the whole truth, because this Olsen fellow was gored to death by a deer with mob ties. Or it might have been a CIA deer. I'm not sure.

Six-tenths of a second left. Your opponent just made the game-sealing free throw. Game over.

Sweet Christ, what a gigantic kick in the balls. Sucks to be the dudes in yellow. The best thing that could have happened to them after that would be for them to die in a fiery wreck on the bus ride home. That would be a little less of a somber memory for their fans.

Source = We Are The Postmen, who seem to have a knack for digging up the best of YouTube.