Tim Tebow is doing for circumcisions what washout anchor Katie Couric did for colonoscopy exams back in 2003. Suddenly I feel inferior for possessing a less aerodynamic foreskin, so I’ll have to get something done eventually. I’d imagine it’s just like going into a barber shop; I’ll just flop into the chair and ask for a little bit off the top. I’m sure the Fort Myers Miracle, the Class-A affiliate for the Minnesota Twins, thought the same thing when they sought clearance to have a live circumcision on the field in front of God and everyone. Naturally, the brass balked at the notion.
Some of the approved festivities on the slate for tonight:
*Free promise rings for everyone entering the stadium.
*First pitch will be a “jump pass.”
*Team manager and gameday staff will deal with problems by asking themselves “What Would Tebow Do?”
*Guy named “Tim Tebow” (not THAT Tim Tebow) will try to walk on some water. via.
But yeah, no penile surgery for that hungry Florida crowd. In order to make up for it, the Miracle are working toward a deal on the concessions: all hot dogs will be half off. I’ll show myself out. first seen here.
Some of you weren’t too impressed with Kevin Youkilis’ charging of the mound video earlier today, so we went through the farm system to see if we could call up something with a little more potential, and this A-ball skirmish (in Dayton, Ohio, no less) seems to fit the bill. Do people say “fit the bill” anymore? Who the hell is Bill? And why can’t he buy his own damn clothes?
This video’s over a year old, put the pitcher that threw the ball into the stands, Julio Castillo of the Dominican Republic, was only last week convicted of felonious assault.
Anyway, you can see how this whole thing gets started, as many fights do: two out-of-shape guys start screaming at each other, and then some young tough decides to take a shot at somebody. Those long road trips and crappy minor-league hotels seem to put everyone a little more on edge. There’s slightly better video here. But yeah, those guys must really be fed up with those little bars of soap. And I love how the lily-white sportscaster is named James Brown. Good career move sticking with that name. Jump back!
This is Casey Mulligan, a infielder floating around with the Long Beach Cardinals in Class A ball, doing a terrific one-man re-enactment of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” And dude really makes this song his own, dawg. The one batting glove and the stirrup socks should please all of the purists. Somebody needs to smack that kid at the end that screams, “Do it again!” I got a better idea, you little bastard: go get a job. This is what happens when you hand foul balls to these little ingrates that don’t earn them. If his sense of entitlement was any more inflated, he’d be getting called up to the big leagues.
Patrick A. Davenport, of Vernon, New Jersey was arrested and charged with distribution and possession of child pornography. Oh, did we mention the 22-year-old spent his days as Scooter, the mascot for the Sussex Skyhawks minor league baseball team? Keep on rockin’, New Jersey. At least Steinbrenner would have brought in a sexual predator in his 40s.
An initial look at Davenport’s computer revealed child pornography, although a more detailed review of the hard drive is pending, prosecutors said.
Prosecutors said there is no evidence of inappropriate behavior by Davenport at Skyhawks games.
If he posts bail [set at $50,000], Davenport is not permitted to use a computer and must have no unsupervised contact with children under age 16. via.
Can’t we live in a world where our children can grope adults in giant furry costumes without worrying about the consequences? I’m sure getting attention from a giant cartoon bird does wonders for a kid’s self-esteem, though might explain my crush on Rosie Red. There’s just no worse fate than Chris Hansen calling you into the minor league manager’s office, saying, “Skipper wants to see you. Bring your laptop.” Oh, minor league. I just got that. Sorry, Rob.
I don’t know what it is about the managers in the Braves organization, but they certainly get themselves thrown out of games with a certain panache not seen around the other farm systems in baseball. Zach at The Big Picture found this video of Rome (GA) Braves manager Randy Ingle putting the screws to this ump, who apparently botched a certain fair/foul call. Ingle was more than happy to correct him, and even offered to redecorate the field to accommodate his handicap. Those Southerners are so hospitable.
Indie-leaguer Josh Womack is back with more bat tricks. And holy crap, this guy just makes it looks so awesome. I hate to think what this guy could do to a woman with a baseball bat. But not as much as what I think Elijah Dukes could do to a woman with a baseball bat. It’s funny because he has anger issues. Actually, that’s not so funny. HEY, DOUCHEBAG WITH THE WHITE TENNIES AND SCATTERSHOT BALDNESS! YOU’RE IN MY SHOT!
|thanks, Dmytrowich|
