Last night’s Houston-Jacksonville game blew ass, but it was at least interesting because Drew Rosenhaus — Plaxico Burress’s agent — showed up for a booth interview at halftime. And I say “interesting” in the way that historians look at the Holocaust and go, “Interesting” or the way biologists study an African village wiped out by ebola and say, “Interesting.” Because you just don’t see an evil bipedal reptile dressed in a leather jacket every day.

In the brief course of four minutes, Rosenhaus compares Plaxico shooting himself in a club to Sean Taylor getting murdered in his home, then — when Kornheiser starts asking tough questions — he hides behind the “there’s a legal investigation going on” curtain. So Kornheiser is all, “C’mon, at least admit guns aren’t a good thing for players to carry around,” and I swear to God, this is what Rosenhaus says:

“This is not an opportunity for me to provide a commentary on guns and NFL players.”

So, to recap, Drew Rosenhaus went on national television after one of his clients shot himself with an illegal handgun, and used that opportunity to provide commentary on guns and NFL players to declare that it was not an opportunity to to provide a commentary on guns and NFL players. So kids, if you’re conflicted because one of your sports idols used a gun, remember, Drew Rosenhaus has no comment.

[Awful Announcing]

If you were pouting about the suckfest that was last week’s Monday Night game, last night should have more than made up for it. The Saints amassed nearly 400 yards in total offense. Reggie Bush ran two punt returns back for touchdowns. But turn the ball over four times and even a shitty team like the Vikings will beat you. In an excellent game rife with drama, The Saints let one slip away at home to the team that’s been writing the book on letting games slip away at home, 30-27.

Minnesota survived a pedestrian day from Adrian Peterson (21 rushes for 32 yards), due in large part to Saints kicker Martín Gramática missing what would have been the game winner with only two minutes to play. Gus Frerotte drove his team down the field (whoa, Gus Frerotte?!?!) and Vikes kicker Ryan Longwell put the game away.

One notable piece of idiocy from the Saints was when the Saints tried an onside kick in the first half, which resulted in a short Vikings drive and 53-yard field goal from Longwell. And then Brad Childress looked across the field at Sean Payton and said, “You’ve got to be the worst coach, ever.” Scoreboard, suckers.

[Yahoo! Sports]

San Francisco 49ers running back Frank Gore has a new agent! (horseshit registration required)

Gore signed with Miami-based [Drew] Rosenhaus last week after his first agent, David Dunn, told Gore he no longer could represent him. Dunn is facing a two-year suspension from the National Football League Players Association.

Yes, that Drew Rosenhaus. But why is Dunn facing a two-year suspension? Well, I looked it up, and there was lots of legalese that I didn't really understand, but it seemed Dunn was pretty good at extremely scheisty collusion. He also declared bankruptcy in 2003, in part to delay legal action against himself. So, naturally, Gore has picked up the single next-slimiest agent, who will almost certainly enter into an ugly negotaition process, right? AU CONTRAIRE:

"That's such a myth," said Rosenhaus, noting he quietly has brokered deals for such high-profile players as Jeremy Shockey, Chad Johnson and Anquan Boldin. "If you talk to general managers, they'll tell you we know how to get deals done. We are not obstinate."

Ugh. He's just so… slimy. I need to go shower to get all this agent off of me.