Get it? It's a cockfight.

NFL future Hall Of Fame quarterback Brett Favre is getting sued, but not by the former New York Jets employee that you’re expecting. Two massage therapists that used to work for the NFL club have filed suit against Favre, the Jets and a former club employee, and the money quote has to do with Favre essentially propositioning Christina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole for a threesome.

“Brett here. You and Crissy want to get together? I’m all alone,” the suit says Favre wrote. “Kinda of lonely tonight. I guess I have bad intentions,”

The third therapist, who did not join the suit, showed Scavo the message, which she brought to the attention of her husband, Joseph. The suit says Joseph Scavo contacted Favre and asked him to apologize and stop behaving inappropriately.

Favre “refused,” and “responded in an inappropriate manner,” the suit said.

–NY Daily News.

Awesome. I don’t care whether Favre plays or doesn’t play in 2011 (spoiler alert: he won’t), but I could talk about sexual harassment for days. And really, you have to be a total ass for a massage therapist to sue you, let alone two massage therapists. These are people that grab your ass for a living. My uncle tried to do that once, but then he wound up and jail, and was forbidden from coaching girls’ soccer ever again.

Kendra Wilkinson, the 25-year old former Playboy Playmate naked chick who used to roll around on top of Hugh Hefner’s old balls, is trying to get her husband and terrible football player, Hank Baskett, to sign a “post-nuptial” agreement because she’s apparently bringing in more proverbial cheddar. The source of said dairy slang for income? You guessed it – homemade porn!

Kendra, who once put on a hell of a show as she “protested” Vivid Entertainment’s eventual release all over her face of her sex tape with a former boyfriend, supposedly has a few more videos waiting in the wings, as she’s made quite a financial improvement thanks to the success of the first video. The problem is that she doesn’t want Baskett to have any chance of getting the money that she’s already made and could eventually make should they get divorced.

*goes to WordPress dashboard, schedules “Hank Baskett Files For Divorce” for next week*

What’s love like, Courier Mail?

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Minnesota Vikings quarterback (and noted old guy that knows how to use a cell phone…allegedly) Brett Favre announced that he’ll be retiring now that his 20th NFL season is in the books, and he really means it this time! Favre’s 2010 season was among his most disappointing: after throwing a career-low 11 touchdown passes this season, he suffered a concussion in Week 15 and sat out his team’s last two games, including last week’s tilt against Detroit.

“I know it’s time, and that’s OK. It is,” Favre said after the 20-13 loss. “Again, I hold no regrets, and I can’t think of too many players offhand that can walk away and say that. Individually and from a team standpoint, it was way more than I ever dreamed of.”

“I don’t know for me if it’s ever easy,” Favre said. “I’m sure throughout this year, the comment has been made that, ‘We’ll wait and see in August or September’ and that’s fine. It’s time. I’m OK with it.”

–Y! Sports.

I’ll always believe that Favre thought he could wander into the Vikings locker room and simply pull another great season out of his ass like he did the year before, but Favre and the team never found their rhythm, and their season could not have been symbolized better than the collapse of the Metrodome last month. But I really think he’s done now; he was no longer a kid having fun out there. And that’s good, because most of us are ready to stop talking about him. He’s like that friend that comes over to your house unannounced on a Tuesday and you’re like Dude, it’s 12:30, I have to go to bed already. This is why I live in one of those mobile storage units. Who’d want to visit me there?

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will be pulling $50,000 out of Brett Favre’s final NFL game check after announcing that the League office could not determine whether sexual harassment took place as alleged by a former New York Jets employee in 2008. Jenn Sterger claimed that Favre sent her lewd messages and images of his penis via cell phone. From the league’s press release earlier today:

On the basis of the evidence currently available to him, Commissioner Goodell could not conclude that Favre violated league policies relating to workplace conduct. The forensic analysis could not establish that Favre sent the objectionable photographs to Sterger. The review found no evidence to contradict the statements of both Favre and Sterger that they never met in person, nor was there anything to suggest that Sterger engaged in any inappropriate conduct.

However, Commissioner Goodell also determined that Favre was not candid in several respects during the investigation, resulting in a longer review and additional negative public attention for Favre, Sterger, and the NFL. The commissioner notified Favre that he has been fined $50,000 for his failure to cooperate with the investigation in a forthcoming manner. Commissioner Goodell stated to Favre that if he had found a violation of the league’s workplace conduct policies, he would have imposed a substantially higher level of discipline.

With Sterger’s track record, it’s hard to give her the benefit of the doubt; regardless of whatever relationship she had with Favre, it looks like little more than garden-variety jilted-girlfriend besmirchment. Could those text messages have come out of a legitimate illegitimate affair between Favre and Sterger? We may never find out. All I know is that I’m amazed that a 40-year-old man found out how to send pics on a cell phone.

Most of the fantasy football leagues I play in end at Week 15, and there’s a reason for that. First of all, it prevents me from ever going 0-16, but also because the production from star players gets totally wacky in the last two weeks of the regular season. Such was the case with Michael Vick, whose numbers came crashing back to earth last night in his team’s rare Tuesday night loss to the Minnesota Vikings.

The loss essentially locked Vick’s Philadelphia Eagles into the third seed in the NFC playoffs, meaning that they won’t get that coveted first-round bye when the postseason begins next week.

“We don’t deserve it after that performance,” Eagles coach Andy Reid said. “Every phase was terrible. We didn’t coach well enough. We didn’t play well enough. I’m disappointed in myself. It’s embarrassing.”

–NFL.com

Oh, now he’s embarrassed.

The coach who did show up was the Vikings’ interim guy, Leslie Frazier, who has made a solid case for being relieved of the “interim” tag and being hired to lead the team in 2011. Frazier was charged with taking a team mired in its own futility and beating a playoff-bound Eagles squad, fronted by a guy who’s probably getting screwed out of the NFL’s MVP award. He beat them with Joe Webb, a guy drafted as a wide receiver who is running his own campaign for a job next year. Maybe Joe Webb can be the guy that leads my fantasy team to a 1-14 record next season. He can’t be any worse than Tim Tebow.

Wussy Sports Town: Did the mayor of Philadelphia pressure the NFL to cancel Sunday Night’s game?

VOTE In The ASYLUM Poll: Do you agree with the Vikings-Eagles game postponement?

The Minnesota Vikings season is beginning to resemble the third act of This Is Spinal Tap!; I wouldn’t be surprised to see their season finale against Detroit played in an old Air Force hangar. Their game in Philadelphia against the Eagles was snowed out last night, because…I guess the Vikings have hit their snow quota for the year?

“Due to public safety concerns in light of today’s snow emergency in Philadelphia, tonight’s Vikings-Eagles game has been postponed. Because of the uncertainty of the extent of tonight’s storm and its aftermath, the game will be played on Tuesday night at 8 p.m. This will allow sufficient time to ensure that roads, parking lots and the stadium are fully cleared.”

–NFL Spokesman Greg Aiello, via ESPN.

Horrible decision. It’s horrible because, instead of watching football last night, I actually had to have a conversation with family members sitting around me. Just play the game in an empty stadium. Jeez, NFL. Do I have to think of everything?

The Eagles aren’t too bent out of shape about it; they actually clinched the NFC East yesterday after the Giants lost. But they and the Vikes will be the first NFL game played on a Tuesday night since 1946, when Brett Favre was only 7 years old.