I feel like there are three ways to enjoy this video of two 73-year old former CFL players throwing hands at the Alumni Legends Luncheon in Vancouver on Friday.

1. From the Social Behavior perspective. Watching two guys who can’t let go of grudges get into a septuagenarian street fight is funny enough, but what’s better is the reaction of the crowd. When Angelo Mosca tells Joe Kapp to shove the olive branch up his ass, everyone’s like “hahaha oh you wacky elderly”, and that continues, punches and all, until Mosca tries to whip a mic stand into Kapp’s face. Then, gasps. Maybe you should’ve gasped when he told the guy to put the wood up his ass and not encouraged them to act out?

The second highlight from this perspective is when Kapp stands over Mosca yelling GET UP~ and then cries “sportsmanship” to the crowd. The crowd’s all “yehhh” because they’re supposed to be responding, and you can’t scream WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING YOU ARE 73 STOP BEING WEIRD AND STUPID in a good enough unison.

2. From the Pro Wrestling Jokes perspective, as shared by Tom Holzerman over at The Wrestling Blog. You see, in addition to being a CFL legend, Angelo Mosca was an announcer for the WWF (winning “Worst Wrestling Announcer” honors in the annual Observer Awards) and wrestled across the United States and Canada as “King Kong” Mosca. You can watch him deliver the most ‘Ren & Stimpy’ promo ever while being interviewed by what appears to be a 15-year old Tony Schiavone here. “I like you, AND HIM! He likes me … and I like HIM!”

Thank goodness he’s getting into fights with Joe Kapp and not Dusty Rhodes. If 73-year old Kapp could floor him with a punch, a Bionic Elbow from Dusty would’ve crushed his skull.

3. From the Old Man Fight perspective. It reminded me a lot of this:

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If you had told me that someone was going to conduct a poll in Wisconsin about Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers’ popularity, I would have slapped you and told you to stop wasting money. Alas, Public Policy Poling (which deserves to be slapped just for that name) went ahead with a popularity poll recently that asked Wisconsinites their opinions on public and political figures, and, of course, Rodgers, who is believed to be able to simply snap his fingers to make a super model orgy appear.

When the poll results came in, Rodgers broke the state’s polling record with a favorable rating of 89%. I assume the other 11% is angry fathers with ugly daughters who can’t get knocked up with Rodgers’ seed. So of course the polling company decided to conduct another poll to see who could possibly beat Rodgers.

Lincoln, who freed the slaves while fighting to keep the United States together in the Civil War, was seen positively by 91% of Americans, compared to only 2% who had an unfavorable opinion. Jesus Christ came in with a 90% favorability rating, but 3% of voters saw him in a negative light.

Two other figures beat the 80% favorability mark: George Washington, the general who earned the title of “Father of his country,” at 86% and Mother Teresa, the late humanitarian who tended the sick and dying in India for more than four decades and who is on her way to becoming a Roman Catholic saint. She rated an 83% favorability score.

(Via the Los Angeles Times)

There you have it – Aaron Rodgers, 1% worse than Jesus.

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We’re finally starting to see a bit of separation in the rankings, at least now that Kansas City realized that it can still defeat the really crappy teams and the Minnesota Vikings remembered that they just paid Adrian Peterson a gajillion dollars to lean on him for the next few years. Unfortunately, the Indianapolis Colts don’t even care if they’re not fooling anyone at this point. Hell, even the Colts’ owner, Jim Irsay, isn’t keeping his desire to draft Andrew Luck a secret anymore.

But the Colts still have some tough competition, as the Miami Dolphins and St. Louis Rams both had bye weeks and therefore remained winless, so the quest for the golden arm and Lucky charm (*throws football at own groin*) is still a hot one. It gets even more exciting now, as other teams are dropping into the mix thanks to cupcake wins by the equally hapless Chiefs and Vikings. Oh what a time to be alive, friends. Let’s point and laugh at the losers!

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Four teams are still winless. Three of them seemingly don’t need quarterbacks. One team is starving for a franchise QB. And while one 0-4 team can’t seemingly keep losing with such a talented young offense, and another can’t keep losing because it has the best running back in the NFL, the other two seem poised for a collision course of suck for the remainder of this season. It should be quite exciting.

As a reminder, these rankings are in reverse order and are based on the theory that Stanford QB Andrew Luck will be the first pick of the 2012 NFL Draft, even though he’s a junior and may not even declare. There are clearly many teams that don’t need a QB, so they’re not going to be ranked toward the top of this list, especially if they win games. I only mention this because one of my friends actually complained to me on Friday that I ranked the Philadelphia Eagles too low because “they’re better than their record.” Settle down, this is just for fun. Also, they’re not.

What’s that you say? Enough with my imaginary friends and on with the Suck For Luck Power(less) Rankings? Your wish is Chad Henne’s worthless injured shoulder my command.

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Former Tennessee Titans wide receiver Randy Moss announced via his agent yesterday that after 13 seasons he has retired from the NFL. Or you could perhaps say that no teams wanted to bother with the 34-year old pain in the ass anymore. Either way, one of the most exciting, explosive, and maddeningly arrogant athletes to ever play pro football is done.

Now the poets of the printed word can spend the next few months celebrating or denigrating the man who once gloriously disgusted Joe Buck. Peter King called him a first ballot Hall-of-Famer while Michael Rosenberg asks the standard questions. Mike Florio gave Moss the clap. I mean, 10 claps. And you can be sure that the rest of the cliche clan will be close behind.

Too bad it’s all premature.

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You may not be able to tell, but that image above is Photoshopped. Obviously Sidney Rice wasn’t wearing his Minnesota Vikings uniform when the Seattle Seahawks delivered his gigantic bag of cash yesterday, but we like to imagine that it was pretty similar. Rice, who missed most of last season after he delayed hip surgery stemming from an injury he sustained during the 2009-10 playoffs until a month before the season began, signed a 5-year deal with Seattle worth $44 million. $18.5 million of that money is guaranteed for the 24-year old receiver with one 1,000-yard season.

Welcome back, NFL. My how we’ve missed your economics.

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