ROWR!  HISSSS!!!  Buckle up, everybody, IndyCar competitors Danica Patrick and Milka Duno had an altercation in Ohio this weekend, when speed princess Danica didn't like fiery Latina Milka's slowocity on the track.  Tempers flared, and the passion was undeniable.

“She came to my team and our pit box in a very bad way with bad words,” Duno said. “If you come in a nice way, perfect, we can talk. If you come in a bad way, you are going to find my bad side. I don’t like drama, and I told her ‘go away, you are not welcome.’.”

Patrick said she didn’t regret her action… “Unfortunately, things involving me tend to evolve. I’m on the hot seat when I do something and when others do something (connected to me). It’s kind of the line that I walk because I’m popular.”

Duno acknowledged she was struggling in her first Indy-car event at the track, but she issued a warning to Patrick… I don’t like the show she likes in every race weekend,” Duno said. “She can push the guys because they cannot do anything to her, but she cannot push me… I know if somebody pushes me and finds my bad side they are going to get a problem.”

You know what would make this better?  If we had video of Danica approaching Milka, then Milka getting bitchy and throwing a towel at Danica, then Danica swearing at Milka after she walks away.  Oh wait a second, WE DO. 

Eh, needs more hair-pulling and clothes-tearing and passionate, angry lesbian sex.

[Fan IQ] 

The 91st Indianapolis 500 is currently in a rain delay after 113 laps (282.5 miles) completed.  Because over 100 circuits have been made, Tony Kanaan would be declared the winner if the race cannot be restarted.  Hot rookie Milka Duno crashed in Turn 1 on the 66th lap, and revealed her voice is as melodious as the Chief's maid in the subsequent interview.  (NB: Hit mute when she speaks unless you want to ruin the fantasy.)  As it stands now, the top three places are occupied by members of Andretti Green Racing:

1. Tony Kanaan
2. Marco Andretti
3. Danica Patrick
4. Vitor Meira
5. Dario Franchitti

You know what would be entertaining?  How about lovely Milka and Danica shed their Nomex driving suits and perform slip and slide tricks in front of the grandstand just like MLBers do on the infield tarp during baseball rain delays?  Oh, so I am a lascivious pig am I?  Fine.  You watch as Brent Musburger and Jack Arute exchange glowing odes to A.J. Foyt, and I'll spend my precious time in my worthwhile pursuits.  Like researching the third place driver. -KD

The Indy 500 is this weekend, and for the first time in history the race will feature three women drivers.  Expect crashes!  Ha, just kidding, ladies.  Anyway, a tip of the With Leather cap goes to history-makers Milka Duno (left, and also: humminah), Sarah Fisher (second from left), and Danica Patrick (right). The other ladies in the picture there are former driver Lyn St. James (center) and Janet Reno tennis great Billie Jean King.

I'd like to take a moment here to browbeat the fuckfaces who keep saying that Danica Patrick needs to win a major race or she'll always be just another failure who got by on looks like Anna Kournikova.  First of all, Kournikova was a failure in an all-female sport, while Danica is a tiny little woman racing at an elite level against an almost all-male field.  Second, I'm tired of talking heads acting like it's a bad thing that women athletes have sex appeal.  Like it's Danica's or my fault that we're so good-looking.  But that's part of dealing with the media's bias.  Journalists are just angry because the pay sucks and they're ugly.

(All photos from this SI.com gallery)