Hey everybody, there’s a party in Brian Wilson’s beard and you’re invited! To continue, please click anywhere on Brian’s beard and watch a short video that asks, “do you realize ninjas?”

When you’re done there, turn your television over to Showtime, where “The Franchise” follows the San Francisco Giants in the 2010-2011 offseason as they come to terms with winning baseball’s richest prize and having to listen to this guy talk for more than a minute and a half.

Unable to handle my reaction to Brian Wilson’s comedy, I stranged myself to death and sold this Dugout as ad space for the upcoming “Franchise” season. Today’s Dugout follows, but I’m not responsible for any of it.

Read the rest of this entry »

In baseball news that doesn’t make a lot of sense, Washington Nationals manager Jim Riggleman has decided he hates baseball and would rather have no money than less of it. The synopsis, from NBC’s Hardball Talk.

Just minutes after the Nationals beat the Mariners with a walk-off sacrifice fly in a 1-0 game to move above .500 manager Jim Riggleman announced his resignation. According to general manager Mike Rizzo this morning Riggleman expressed displeasure about his contract, which includes a 2012 option that the Nationals haven’t picked up, and said he would step down from the job if it wasn’t handled by the end of this afternoon’s game.

It wasn’t and he did. What an odd situation, particularly with the Nationals playing their best baseball in … well, ever. Riggleman was clearly extremely frustrated by the entire situation, but to quit 75 games into the season, with the team winning 11 of their last 12 games, is shocking.

I eliminated some of the paragraph breaks, but you get the idea. Be sure to read about the first manager to resign in a Dugout this week, then read today’s, which follows the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Carlos Zambrano has told the Cubs what they already know: they stink. Furthermore … well, that’s it. The proper blogger stance is to stand up against Zambrano’s opinion and compare him to Ozzie Guillen, saying they’re both irrational, emotional “thugs” and any other words I can think of to whitely describe Hispanic people without you noticing.

Instead, I have constructed a web comic about baseball, and I hope you enjoy it. Today’s Dugout follows. Just make sure you watch the video I linked up there, so you don’t think I’m exaggerating any of these accents.

Read the rest of this entry »

Ever since Lou Piniella first announced that he was retiring from baseball, the rumor mill has been going crazy over who would be his replacement as the next manager of the Chicago Cubs. Some analysts predicted big names like Joe Torre, Joe Girardi, Tony LaRussa, Ozzie Guillen and Bob Brenly. Other experts predicted that the obvious choice was legendary Cubs second baseman and Triple A manager Ryne Sandberg. But nobody guessed it right, because Cubs GM Jim Hendry has announced that Piniella’s replacement is the team’s interim manager Mike Quade. Wait for it… wait… wait… QUAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!

Quade has some solid street cred and this might be a good hire for the Cubs, but I have to admit that I’m distracted by Hendry still having a job. I mean, who is going to co-host Baseball Tonight with Omar Minaya now?

Tell us about this man named Quade, CBS Sports:

Read the rest of this entry »