Production is a little slow at With Leather headquarters (read: Spearmint Rhino) this morning, so I thought I'd break out the flux capacitor and revisit a happier time, a time when Mark Messier obliterated that Willa Ford-humping pansy Mike Modano.  Stick around 'til the end for bonus footage reminiscent of a classic scene from Bart the Daredevil.

Oh, Mark Messier, I miss you.  Your well-rounded game, your leadership, your durability, your ruggedly handsome features– what?  I mean GRRR CROSS-CHECK!

Dallas Stars center Mike Modano will marry former pop princess peasant/Dancing with the Stars contestant Willa Ford this Sunday.  Mazel tov, you crazy kids.  And good luck out there.  Don't be fazed when people tell you that they've masturbated to naked pictures of your wife (NSFW – duh).  But Mike should be used to it.  Part of being a rich famous athlete is getting to date (and even marry) the kind of chicks who can make careers out of being masturbation fodder.  It comes with territory.

Anyway, for no good reason other than I can and you expect it, here's a bunch of photos taken of Willa over the last year or so.  I don't see what's so special about her.  She's just blonde with a really good body.  Her face isn't even that pretty.  I mean, she's probably only better looking than 99% of the women I've ever touched in my life.  And that includes my mother.

The Dallas Stars hosted a a casino night for charity, which has to be the biggest load of crap ever. What the hell is the point of gambling if you don't even get to keep the money you win? It's totally against my principles. For the children, my ass. I'm doubling down FOR ME.

And hey, Mike Modano, stop being all tall and good-looking and put twenty on seven and eight and five each on all the hard ways. Damn celebrity croupiers, too busy being admired by pop starlets to do some real work.

Yes, as The Big Lead pointed out, the blonde at Modano's elbow is none other than Willa Ford. Yeah I haven't heard any of her music either, but before latching onto Modano she previously dated Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys (a bitch) and UFC fighter Chuck Liddell (not a bitch). I've also carefully studied her Playboy spread (NSFW, as Playboy spreads usually are), and I learned a couple things about her. First, she's good at arching her back. Second, she has a butterfly tattoo above her hoo-hoo. And third, I would like to wear her as a hat.