Hola! I do not speak Spanish! I do, however, have an entire Impact report just for you! Some pre-show notes before we start:

- There are 15 days left in the Meet Me There IndieGoGo drive. For those of you who aren’t aware, my very dearest friend/ our favourite With Leather Editor has written a movie, and it’s really, really good. It also stars Goldust, and hey, he’s a guy a lot of people like. If you’ve got a few dollars to spare, toss it their way and help it be the best movie it can be.

- Speaking of cool stuff for you cool cats to do, check out The Mandible Claw! We have fun stuff happening, amazing contributors, and a podcast. This week we were on vacation, but now is the best time to familiarize yourself before we return next week relaxed, rejuvenated, and funky fresh.

- Social Media is all the rage these days. Should you like to find out what I’m up to, send any questions, or even better, send gifs of cats on treadmills, I can be found on Twitter here. You can also follow With Leather (do it!), and UPROXX (also do that!). Sharing is caring, so be sure to like and share this on Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit, billboards, the sides of bridges, abandoned mine shafts, bathroom stalls, and wherever else you can think of.

This week on Impact: Corpus Christi proves why they shouldn’t be allowed to have nice things, Taryn Terrell reminds us that we can’t have nice things, and Joseph Park shows up so I can say at least some nice things. COSAS BONITAS!

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Well hello again, Internet friends and that one guy who really hates me! Who’s ready for another Impact that I enjoyed way more than I probably should have? I know I am! But first…

• Over at The Wrestling Blog, I reviewed the SMASH Wrestling event I mentioned in last week’s column. Johnny Gargano did some stuff and I had reactions, so check it out!

• If you missed last week’s report, you can find it here. Personally, I think you should read all of them, but I may be a tad biased.

• Apparently Reddit is a thing we should all be sharing this on. So go forth, red … it … nd make Brandon happy!

• While you’re sharing, like us on Facebook, follow myself, With Leather, and UPROXX on the twitters, and maybe also show how cool you are for reading this on tumblr. It’s not just for pictures of cats!

This week on Impact: Hulk Hogan makes disapproving faces, Jeff Hardy magically keeps his shirt on, and my lifelong views of Supermarket Sweep are crushed. Let’s get Besting and Worsting!

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And now, Impact Wrestling presents 'Man Getting Hit By Trophy'

Hello again, my darlingest Ham Sandwiches! I hope you all had a wonderful New Year’s Eve. I personally spent it loudly replacing Auld Lang Syne with Boys on the Docks, and watching a very large bearded man wrestle a smaller, skinny punk kid in the snow. It was like watching Jebediah Park vs. Jeff Hardy in the match no one asked for. In other news…

• I will be attending SMASH Wrestling’s event Any Given Sunday on … Sunday. If any of you cool cats in the GTA want to come see Johnny Gargano, 3.0, Gregory Iron, and what commenters look like in person, you should head on out! I make no promises as to whether or not I will be dressed like Bully Ray, doing bad Al Pacino impressions, or telling everyone to throw their money at Gargano’s merch.

• Gifs this week have been provided by the lovely Casey/THESTINGER. He is the best person, and I am consistently jealous of his boogie.

• As always, I can be found on twitter here, With Leather keeps it tight here, and UPROXX operates their twitter machine here. By all means, like us on Facebook, and share us on the sharing stuffs, especially Reddit. Stop by, say hello, and tell us what you like or dislike about what we’re doing. I have it on good authority that the person who operates my twitter account likes hearing what you think, and is also really into Johnny Gargano.

This week on Impact: Christopher Daniels makes me think deep thoughts, D.O.C. jobs to a chain lock, and TNA makes me stretch my creative writing muscles to the point of a near hernia.

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