Jalen Rose vs. Grant Hill: Who’s The Blackestest?

Written by JOSH Z / 03.16.11

Unlike Burnsy, I didn’t catch the premiere of the Fab Five documentary on ESPN (sorry, I don’t lap up every dinky little program that the monolith tries to spoon-feed me), but Jalen Rose’s comments about Grant Hill and the Duke basketball team did not go unchallenged, and certainly not by Grant Hill.

Hill, who has 337 more career starts (and counting) than Rose, took to The New York Times to counterpunch Rose’s claim of insufficient blackness (Rose is now an analyst for ESPN, if you didn’t know). But the only thing more pathetic than Jalen’s attempt to cut down Grant Hill for being educated is Hill’s attempt to validate the blue-collar legacy of his family. It’s the 2011 version of “I have lots of black friends.” And it’s sad.

From Hill’s piece:

In his garbled but sweeping comment that Duke recruits only “black players that were ‘Uncle Toms,’ ” Jalen seems to change the usual meaning of those very vitriolic words into his own meaning, i.e., blacks from two-parent, middle-class families. He leaves us all guessing exactly what he believes today.

I am beyond fortunate to have two parents who are still working well into their 60s. They received great educations and use them every day. My parents taught me a personal ethic I try to live by and pass on to my children.

I come from a strong legacy of black Americans. My namesake, Henry Hill, my father’s father, was a day laborer in Baltimore. He could not read or write until he was taught to do so by my grandmother. His first present to my dad was a set of encyclopedias, which I now have. He wanted his only child, my father, to have a good education, so he made numerous sacrifices to see that he got an education, including attending Yale.

It says a lot that Rose felt the need to apologize to Hill before the documentary aired, that Rose felt that Hill wasn’t black enough to be a good teammate and still wasn’t black enough to gloss over commentary on that subject today.  It’s cool if Rose is just bent that Grant Hill actually met his own father, but calling him a b:tch in a documentary produced by a company that pays you for objective analysis is, at best, irresponsible.

Why everything has to be “black this” or black that” is something that I’ll never understand, especially when all the unity talk goes out the window whenever a pretty white girl shows up at the club. But one guy ran his mouth in what amounted to programming for his own employer. The other fired back from a column of one of the most-read publications of the world. You tell me which one is the sellout.

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“I Thought Grant Hill Was A B*tch”

Written by Ashley Burns / 03.14.11

Like most people I tuned in to watch the “Fab 5″ 30 For 30 special on ESPN last night and like most people I just sat there and wondered why Chris Webber was too cool for school. But lost in this celebration of a team most ESPN viewers are too young to remember was the above wonderful clip of the former Michigan players giving their thoughts on America’s least favorite team, the Duke Blue Devils. I really enjoyed this 30 For 30 edition, because we so rarely get to see Eric Montross highlights these days, but 1) I’m down for anything that makes fun of Christian Laettner and B) I could listen to people call Grant Hill a bitch for the rest of my life.

Call me a filthy Orlando Magic homer all you want, but Hill’s tenure in Orlando was grand theft, so anytime I listen to someone make fun of him my ears perk up a little. I’m like a dog getting my butt scratched every time I watch this clip.

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College Hockey Player Is Good With The Ladies

Written by JOSH Z / 02.08.11

Michigan hockey player Louie Caporusso knows how to treat a woman, and why wouldn’t he? Just think about how great he was in Welcome Back Kotter. But this is actually a surprisingly funny video featuring Caporusso’s strategy for wooing your lady on Valentine’s Day. This might be the only holiday on the calendar where gender identity plays such a prominent role: the guy is expected to exert the lion’s share of the effort. Me? I just suck in my gut and tell her that every day with me is Valentine’s Day. And then I hurry and do the dishes before she starts beating me.

MGO Blue, Via @Texas_Gal.

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New ‘Michigan Man’ Comes From San Diego State

Written by JOSH Z / 01.12.11

Randy Candy Brady Hoke has been named the new head coach of Michigan’s still-somewhat-prestigious football program. And I know what you’re thinking: San Diego’s not a state. It’s a city. I know, that bugs me too.

Hoke coached Michigan’s defensive line during the Lloyd Carr days in Ann Arbor, and he had all the qualities that you look for in a head coach, like table manners and inappropriate jokes.

“He’s a really good coach, but he’s an even better person,” said defensive lineman Alex Ofili, who played for Hoke in 2001 and 2002 and is now an assistant principal at Ypsilanti High School.

“You respect him because he’s so knowledgeable, but at the same time, you just want to be around him because he’s funny and just a great person to be around. He’s one of those people that you see as an uncle or a father figure.”

–AnnArbor.com

He’s a great person?! Sounds like a junk hire to me. The athletic department had targeted now-49ers coach Jim Harbuagh and LSU coach Les Miles, both of whom said thanks but no thanks. That’s a good attitude toward the state of Michigan in general.

Img via.

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TCU Billboards Pop Up In Columbus

Written by Ashley Burns / 01.07.11

Back in November, Ohio State President Gordon Gee told the Associated Press that teams like TCU and Boise State didn’t deserve to play for the BCS title because those programs don’t have strong schedules like the teams in the BCS automatic qualifier conferences. Said Gee:

“Well, I don’t know enough about the X’s and O’s of college football,” said Gee, formerly the president at West Virginia, Colorado, Brown and Vanderbilt universities. “I do know, having been both a Southeastern Conference president and a Big Ten president, that it’s like murderer’s row every week for these schools. We do not play the Little Sisters of the Poor. We play very fine schools on any given day. So I think until a university runs through that gantlet that there’s some reason to believe that they not be the best teams to [be] in the big ballgame.”

Boise State lost to Nevada two days later, ruining the Broncos’ BCS hopes, but TCU continued to steamroll opponents, as the No. 3 Horned Frogs finished with a 12-0 regular season record. The Frogs added their exclamation point on New Year’s Day, when they defeated Wisconsin 21-19 in the Rose Bowl. Wisconsin, of course, finished 7-1 in the Big 10 just like Ohio State. So for Gee’s comments, a mysterious TCU supporter has gently extended his middle finger by posting the banner image above on 20 electronic billboards throughout Columbus, Ohio. Well done.

While we can chalk this one up as a W for the little guys, as TCU was the first ever non-automatic qualifier to win the Rose Bowl, Gee and the rest of the big boys are probably still scoffing at the Frogs while they refill their high balls and light cigars with $100 bills. But tread lightly, big conference presidents. TCU will be in the Big East soon enough, so if you thought the Frogs had an easy road now, just you wait.

In the meantime, I was a little surprised to find out that TCU wasn’t the only school to have mystery billboards popping up around the country. Follow along after the jump…

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College Football Fans Love Rap Music

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.30.10

If you’re anything like me, you’ve got multiple restraining orders against Victoria’s Secret models and you vaguely remember watching ESPN’s “Dream Job” reality series, which lasted three seasons. Some would say that was four seasons too long. Still, scores of men tuned in, if for any reason, to ogle Kit Hoover’s hot little self in her post-Road Rules career. At the end of season 2, Dave Holmes ended up defeating some guy we’ll never hear from again to sign his 1-year deal with ESPN, drive home in his brand new Mazda 6 and reap the benefits of his newfound stardom.

Fast forward 5 years to today and Holmes is doing great as he’s fulfilling his lifelong dream of covering the Ohio State Buckeyes for 13 ABC in Toledo, which is also the home of Christina Williams, who I know nothing about but she’s pretty cute so that’s cool. Dave even went as far as to record his own special rap song to honor the OSU-Michigan rivalry this past Saturday, and it’s everything you could ever expect from a white guy from Ohio rapping. Even worse, though, I found out that Dave’s song is Punte’s ringtone. Pretty shameful, indeed.

But Dave’s efforts reminded me of how great the connection is between college football and music – more specifically rap – especially with enthusiastic fans and players. It’s no Source Awards, but boy is this collection guaranteed to bring some street credit…

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