Randy Candy Brady Hoke has been named the new head coach of Michigan’s still-somewhat-prestigious football program. And I know what you’re thinking: San Diego’s not a state. It’s a city. I know, that bugs me too.

Hoke coached Michigan’s defensive line during the Lloyd Carr days in Ann Arbor, and he had all the qualities that you look for in a head coach, like table manners and inappropriate jokes.

“He’s a really good coach, but he’s an even better person,” said defensive lineman Alex Ofili, who played for Hoke in 2001 and 2002 and is now an assistant principal at Ypsilanti High School.

“You respect him because he’s so knowledgeable, but at the same time, you just want to be around him because he’s funny and just a great person to be around. He’s one of those people that you see as an uncle or a father figure.”

–AnnArbor.com

He’s a great person?! Sounds like a junk hire to me. The athletic department had targeted now-49ers coach Jim Harbuagh and LSU coach Les Miles, both of whom said thanks but no thanks. That’s a good attitude toward the state of Michigan in general.

Img via.

Back in November, Ohio State President Gordon Gee told the Associated Press that teams like TCU and Boise State didn’t deserve to play for the BCS title because those programs don’t have strong schedules like the teams in the BCS automatic qualifier conferences. Said Gee:

“Well, I don’t know enough about the X’s and O’s of college football,” said Gee, formerly the president at West Virginia, Colorado, Brown and Vanderbilt universities. “I do know, having been both a Southeastern Conference president and a Big Ten president, that it’s like murderer’s row every week for these schools. We do not play the Little Sisters of the Poor. We play very fine schools on any given day. So I think until a university runs through that gantlet that there’s some reason to believe that they not be the best teams to [be] in the big ballgame.”

Boise State lost to Nevada two days later, ruining the Broncos’ BCS hopes, but TCU continued to steamroll opponents, as the No. 3 Horned Frogs finished with a 12-0 regular season record. The Frogs added their exclamation point on New Year’s Day, when they defeated Wisconsin 21-19 in the Rose Bowl. Wisconsin, of course, finished 7-1 in the Big 10 just like Ohio State. So for Gee’s comments, a mysterious TCU supporter has gently extended his middle finger by posting the banner image above on 20 electronic billboards throughout Columbus, Ohio. Well done.

While we can chalk this one up as a W for the little guys, as TCU was the first ever non-automatic qualifier to win the Rose Bowl, Gee and the rest of the big boys are probably still scoffing at the Frogs while they refill their high balls and light cigars with $100 bills. But tread lightly, big conference presidents. TCU will be in the Big East soon enough, so if you thought the Frogs had an easy road now, just you wait.

In the meantime, I was a little surprised to find out that TCU wasn’t the only school to have mystery billboards popping up around the country. Follow along after the jump…

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If you’re anything like me, you’ve got multiple restraining orders against Victoria’s Secret models and you vaguely remember watching ESPN’s “Dream Job” reality series, which lasted three seasons. Some would say that was four seasons too long. Still, scores of men tuned in, if for any reason, to ogle Kit Hoover’s hot little self in her post-Road Rules career. At the end of season 2, Dave Holmes ended up defeating some guy we’ll never hear from again to sign his 1-year deal with ESPN, drive home in his brand new Mazda 6 and reap the benefits of his newfound stardom.

Fast forward 5 years to today and Holmes is doing great as he’s fulfilling his lifelong dream of covering the Ohio State Buckeyes for 13 ABC in Toledo, which is also the home of Christina Williams, who I know nothing about but she’s pretty cute so that’s cool. Dave even went as far as to record his own special rap song to honor the OSU-Michigan rivalry this past Saturday, and it’s everything you could ever expect from a white guy from Ohio rapping. Even worse, though, I found out that Dave’s song is Punte’s ringtone. Pretty shameful, indeed.

But Dave’s efforts reminded me of how great the connection is between college football and music – more specifically rap – especially with enthusiastic fans and players. It’s no Source Awards, but boy is this collection guaranteed to bring some street credit…

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A Penn State fan dressed up as a Michigan fan (?) was assaulted by other Penn State fans (!) who couldn’t tell the difference. That’s not horribly impressive when you stop to consider that Penn State’s football team has spent the whole season beating themselves.

Police told the Centre Daily Times in State College that the man was attacked because the assailants believed he was a Michigan fan.

The man was treated at Mount Nittany Medical Center and was released, according to the report. Detroit News. Via Ted Williams Head

Join us next week when we discuss Wisconsin fans befriending Nebraska fans because their jerseys look exactly the same. Seriously, does everybody have to wear red? I mean, it worked so well for the British. Yep, that’s some Revolutionary War humor for you. It’s the best I can do with my laptop on the fritz.

I wish I was more familiar with Michigan State’s rivalry with Michigan. I guess that Paul Bunyan Trophy’s okay; it’s a good thing Bunyan doesn’t really exist or he could sue the Big Ten for billions after all of those damned trophy games. But Sparty does one better here with this video: a solid effort chronicling Michigan State’s dominance over the Wolverines over the last three years. Also dominating Michigan: everbody. Seriously, Michigan sucks. But hey, cool shoelaces. Read the rest of this entry »

A Detroit man has postponed his pacemaker surgery, originally scheduled for today, until next week because he wants to be able to watch the Michigan/Michigan State game this weekend. Major Hester, a 69-year old man suffering from a weak heart muscle, said that he’s willing to suffer the ultimate consequence of delaying life-or-death heart surgery just so he can watch the No. 17 Spartans and No. 18 Wolverines try to recapture the glory that once was Michigan football. Basically, dude’s either super nuts or totally metal.

Gee, ESPN, I hope he has an awesome quote to go along with his football ambition:

“You never know,” Hester told The Detroit News. “It’s like going into combat. You may come home alive or you may come home dead.”

Hester suffers from cardiomyopathy, a condition where the heart muscle is weakened. He says he’s willing to take the risk of putting off the surgery.

“Whatever happens, I want to see the game,” he said.

That’s a lot of pressure for the players to put on one hell of a game when people are willing to die to watch a solid rivalry. Not to be outdone, MSU coach Mark Dantonio plans to coach this game, only a few days removed from spending time in the hospital for a mild heart attack, followed by the discovery of a blood clot in his leg. Meanwhile, I got a paper cut while watching the UCF-UAB game last night and I almost needed a Band-Aid. See? We all make sacrifices for our teams.