It’s strange, as I was settling in to watch college football this weekend, I found myself wondering: “Hey, you know who are two people that we haven’t heard from in a while? Brian McFayden and Verne Troyer.” The former, of course, rose to mild prominence as a VJ on MTV’s Total Request Live in the early 2000s, before the music network completely phased out music, and then as the host of the CW’s Beauty and the Geek. The latter is obviously best known as Mini Me from the Austin Powers franchise and eventually the housemate that got hammered and peed everywhere on VH1’s The Surreal Life before releasing the world’s second most unwanted sex tape, with all due respect to Dustin Diamond.
So what the hell are these two former Y-list celebrities up to these days? Well, wouldn’t you know it, they’re talking Michigan Wolverines football over on the online digital show Campus Insiders, which I believe is that show that always aired in my campus cafeteria. As it turns out, Troyer is a Michigan Wolverines fan, and it was almost impossible to write that without using an adjective like big or huge because of the groaning that would quickly follow.
They’re kidding and this is not documentary footage (I think), but Pat Stansik and the band Mind’s Eyes have released a video for their Michigan quarterback Denard Robinson anthem ‘I Love You Denard’, and yes, they’d rather watch Denard gain a yard than have a three-way make-out session with two foxy-ish Michigan teens.
I don’t know how to feel about this. As an adopted OH-bro (I lived in Cleveland for four years), I am emotionally obligated to hate Michigan, but I love watching people get trolled. So when Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith ended a concert in Columbus by making people woo and try to catch his drumsticks, then busted out the University of Michigan fight song before dropping the mic (as it were) and bailing, my emotions were conflicted.
According to our friends at Dr. Saturday, Smith didn’t go to Michigan, but was raised in Bloomfield Hills and Andover High School and graduated from Lahser High School, so he’s a Michigan local. I don’t know. Part of me thinks he’s my new hero. The other part, probably the part that remembers 30 years of Red Hot Chili Peppers songs, wants to jump on stage and beat him to death with his own backwards cap.
Come to think of it, this was probably the best song they played. Flea should interrupt the next concert with the Melbourne Victory club song. Anthony Kiedis can awkwardly rap over it.
Top 10: Dunks On Kendrick Perkins (A History Of Abuse) - Poor guy, you think he’d learn to get his hands up after the 4th or 5th posterization. [Real Talk NY]
Rep Yo’ City: 40 Hip-Hop Hometown Anthems - It’s true, “Cleveland Is The City”. Bedford is just the suburbs, but they have an Auto Mile. [Smoking Section]
The Movie Middle Finger Mash-Up Is Fantastic - Needs more Captain Hammer. Also, people who do the “every finger up but bent in the middle, thumb out” thing are weird. Stop doing that. [Film Drunk]
Here’s Why Dax Shepard Is With Kristen Bell And You’re Not, Bros - This is seriously adorable, and if you didn’t like Kristen Bell before, oh man. [UPROXX]
Can We Just Stop ‘Popping The Question,’ Please? - Yeah, it’s getting harder and harder to propose to one’s girlfriend thanks to the Internet. What am I supposed to do, give her a ring for a Christmas present? That’s the lamest thing in history. [UPROXX]
The Arrested Development Movie Is Really Actually Absolutely Happening For Real - And maybe if this works out, we’ll find out what happened to Henry at the end of ‘Party Down’ after all. [Film Drunk]
6 Series From Dark Horse Comics You Should Be Buying (Aside From Hellboy) - If Usagi Yojimbo can have a comic for 30 years, someone should be able to hire me to write one for Mondo Gecko. Just saying. [Gamma Squad]
How Would You Like Your Back Clawed by These TV-Themed Fingernails? - I would not! [Warming Glow]
21 More Reasons Florida Is The Craziest State - This is what happens when you decide to live on America’s penis. The whole f**king thing is like Twin Peaks. [Buzzfeed]
QUIZ: Lana Del Rey Song Or Thing We Just Made Up? - Bizarre. I wish the backlash on this lady would literally drown her and drag her into the ocean. [HuffPost Comedy]
14 Reasons To Be Excited For The ‘Avengers’ Super Bowl Trailer - Reason 15: there are only 20 super hero movies coming out in 2012, and this is one of them. [Moviefone]
The Most Controversial Super Bowl Ads of All Time - Someone should remake ’1984′ and end it with TO SEE THE REST UNCENSORED, VISIT APPLE.COM. [The FW]
A University of Michigan Student Created a ‘Walk of Shame Shuttle Service’ - I have never once made a walk of shame. I’ve done some Super Happy Early Morning Dancing Down The Sidewalk, though. [Brobible]
The Reality Television Venn Diagram - Who knew there were so many shows about cajuns and hillbillies? [High Definite]
The new American Dream is all about getting famous for something awful or accidental, then milking it for the rest of your life. This is why Tay Zonday is doing Dr. Pepper commercials and the Octopus Mother is octo-boxing. Casey Anthony took a similar path — she (allegedly) tossed her three-year old out with the afternoon garbage and got away with it, so now everything she does and everything she wears is news and of great import. The Warren, Ohio, native is often photographed wearing Ohio State Buckeyes gear (most famously in a pre-baby murder photo shoot and most recently courtesy of TMZ), so much so that even Ohio State had to issue a statement about it:
“We are never surprised to see Buckeye pride displayed across the world. Buckeye hoodies and hats have traditionally been spotted across the world, and we understand that as a result, our logo will be seen in a wide range of news situations, whether positive or negative.”
Well, Ohio State might not care, but the state of Ohio has had enough. Its more reputable citizens (Columbus area radio disc jockeys) are taking a stand, offering to bribe Anthony to take off their school colors and making sure their stupid college football rivalries are the most important part. Via WNCI:
The Dave and Jimmy Show offered up to $10,000 to Anthony to take off the Ohio State University hat and wear Michigan attire.
Jimmy Jam believed the TMZ video showed her at the Old Navy store at the Lennox Town Center on Olentangy River Road. Store officials refused to comment, 10TV News reported.
And if you see Nancy Grace, tell her we said “Duh Huh,” she’ll know what you mean.
Good old Morning Zoo guys, you can always count on them to put things in the proper perspective. I guess with the Texas Longhorns V. Oklahoma Sooners rivalry evolving into knifefights, Ohio State/Michigan had to try and murder somebody. You can watch a video of the offer below or work from your own plans, which should be “don’t give Casey Anthony prizes for doing things”. I wonder why they disabled comments?
Former Michigan big man Robert “Tractor” Traylor suffered an apparent heart attack earlier today and was found dead in his apartment in Puerto Rico. The 34-year old had previous heart conditions, including aortic surgery in 2005, which led to his eventual departure from the NBA. His current team, the Bayomon Vaqueros have canceled their game tonight in observance of his passing.
A former 6th overall draft pick by the Dallas Mavericks, Traylor was best known for his size, hence his nickname, but his career was overshadowed by the controversy of his association with boosters at the University of Michigan and the program’s subsequent punishment, diminishing his efforts in leading the Wolverines to the 1997 NIT championship. Upon drafting Traylor, the Mavericks immediately traded him for their franchise cornerstone Dirk Nowitzki.
In 2008, Traylor was targeted by the IRS for back taxes to the tune of $241,000 and change. At that point, he signed a contract with Turkey’s Antalya Kepez Belediyesi, and later Italy’s NSB Napoli. Traylor also won the 2010 Defensive Player of the Year award with the Vaqueros.
Controversy and hardships aside, Traylor will probably always be remembered for the ridiculous highlight of ripping down the backboard against Ball State.