Don’t think for a second that Braylon Edwards was going to steal all the headlines today when it comes to the actions of borderline-retarded NFL wide receivers. Praise be to Jeebus, Michael Crabtree has ended his holdout, signing a six-year deal with the San Francisco 49ers.

The sides have been at odds over contract terms for months. Crabtree, the phenom from Texas Tech, had previously stated that he felt he deserved more money than the 49ers were willing to offer him as the No. 10 pick in the 2009 NFL Draft and was willing to sit out the entire season and re-enter the draft next year if he had to.

But the 49ers – and perhaps even Crabtree’s inner circle – were not aware that the star power alone of one man could bring these two warring factions back to the table to “hammer” out a deal, so to speak.

That man, you ask? MC Hammer.

That meeting finally happened Tuesday at an undisclosed spot in the Bay Area away from the team’s Santa Clara headquarters. Crabtree and Parker were joined by York, vice president of football operations Paraag Marathe and general manager Scot McCloughan. Hammer, a friend of Parker and Parker client Deion Sanders, was a participant to some degree at the hotel where negotiations took place. via.

For accuracy’s sake, it’s just Hammer now, not MC Hammer. He is not allowed to use the “MC” anymore now that he isn’t in the MC business any longer. Evidently, the MC’s Alliance is as dedicated at keeping tabs on its members and as ruthless in controlling them as The Alliance of Magicians.

San Francisco 49ers first-round draft prick, uh, pick Michael Crabtree has officially gone off the deep end. So sayeth his agent, Eugene Parker, who is backpedalling away from the former Texas Tech wide receiver so fast, you’d think he was the middle linebacker playing a Cover 2:

It’s widely believed that Crabtree wants to secure more money [as the 10th overall pick in the draft] than receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey finagled from the Raiders as the seventh overall pick. Emphasis added:

Meanwhile, we’re hearing that Parker is dealing with the Crabtree conundrum on the recruiting trail by blaming the holdout on the player. Parker, we’re told, is pointing to the deal he negotiated for defensive end Tyson Jackson at the third overall slot as proof that Parker is willing and able to negotiate a fair deal for a first-round pick. Cell phones, yo!, via.

The Niners appear steadfast, insisting that Crabtree not earn more than the No. 9 pick, Packers D-lineman B.J. Raji. Crabtree seems content to fight stubborn with stubborn, even insisting that he’ll go back into the draft in 2010 if he doesn’t get Heyward-Bey money. I’m typically opposed to the “slotting system” when it comes to rookie salary, but this is nuts. Again, who’s going to wait a year to take the cranky guy that wouldn’t sign for lottery-pick money? Who would even represent Crabtree in such an endeavor? Al Davis looked like he screwed himself over reaching up to get DHB with that seventh pick. Now it’s his neighbors by the bay that seem to be a bit sore.

Michael Crabtree was anointed with the “prima donna” label when he came out of Texas Tech for the NFL draft; that’s not so good if you’re a wide receiver hoping for a big payday. Nevertheless, San Francisco took him with their 10th overall pick. And Crabtree seems to be putting his hope in the bank–by threatening to sit out the entire year and re-enter the draft in 2010.

“We are prepared to do it,” [David] Wells [Crabtree's cousin and adviser, not the fat guy that used to pitch for the Reds and Yankees] said. “Michael just wants fair-market value. They took him with the 10th pick and you have Darrius Heyward-Bey [the seventh overall pick by the Oakland Raiders] getting $38 million? This week is crucial. Michael was one of the best players in the draft and he just wants to be paid like one of the best players. This week is very crucial.” via.

Crabtree’s agent, Eugene Parker, said this is all news to him, whatever that means. I haven’t seen any confirmed reports of what kind of money Crabtree wants, but I don’t care. I just want to see somebody sit out for an entire year and then go into the draft AGAIN. He’d be the 20-year-old guy that couldn’t finish high school for a day. Those guys are great; they always have the best weed.