I’m a big sucker for fan art – well, appropriate fan art – and that’s why I’ve been pounding my desk all morning over the news that the world’s biggest patent troll is going after Etsy’s new $40 million investment. But while soulless thieves are going after the sources of the Internet’s showcases for art and inspiration, they’ll thankfully never be able to crush the actual artists. At least not yet. I’m sure they’ll find a way eventually.

My Internet Artist of the Day of the Week goes to the guys at Double Scribble, a Tumblr site devoted to NBA fan art.

Double Scribble is the lovechild of basketball and art; two of Nick Kastner and Mike McGrath’s favorite things in the world. From the coldest, murkiest depths of Cleveland, OH (and now to some extent, some obscure part of North Carolina) Nick and Mike have forged a blog out of blood, sweat and tears in their unwavering vision to provide you, the viewer, with a never ending source of basketball related art.

And it’s pretty awesome. I’ve been shuffling back and forth through its archives since a friend emailed the link last week and there is just a ton of great artwork on this site that has really inspired me to consider re-launching my web comic series, “The Erotic Adventures of a Sports Blogger.” Spoiler alert: it’s sad and gross.

After the jump, I’ve included many of my favorite efforts of Double Scribble’s authors, but I encourage you to check out the submissions that they’ve posted from other artists as well. It’s a highly recommended worm hole to limit your productivity today.

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What do you do if you’re a 23-year-old millionaire and your employer is about to make a decision that could send you across the country, uproot your existence and change your entire life? If you’re like Minnesota Timberwolves forward Michael Beasley, you cope with the stress by pretending to be a blogger until everything blows over.

From Jerry Zgoda of The Minneapolis Star Tribune:

What was Wolves forward Michael Beasley doing in those final minutes before Thursday’s trade deadline when his fate was decided and the Wolves turned down a trade offer that would have sent him to the Lakers?

“I know exactly what I was doing: I watching Fanboy and Chum Chum, eating pizza, French fries and lemonade,” he said, referring to a Nickelodeon cartoon and some of his favorite foods.

In case you weren’t aware, ‘Fanboy and Chum Chum’ is an animated show on Nickelodeon, so imagine a story from 25 years ago where Karl Malone tells Bob Costas that he thought he was gonna be traded, so he got high and watched six straight hours of ‘David The Gnome’.

If “I watched cartoons” wasn’t Manny Ramirez Man-Child enough of an answer, I’m pretty sure “pizza, french fries and lemonade” is the most second grade last meal of all time. The only way it could’ve been better is if he’d eaten chicken nuggets with ketchup. Serious journalism question: Was the pizza square?

[h/t Ball Don't Lie]

Michael Beasley has had a very difficult time adjusting to life in the NBA. Thankfully for him, there are terrible GMs like David Kahn who are confident in their abilities to develop potential. Two second round draft picks turned the Miami Heat’s trash into David Kahn’s treasure earlier this summer, and our favorite GM has an idea of how to get the former NCAA POY back on the right track. He’s getting the munchies just thinking about it.

Timberwolves general manager David Kahn told ESPN 1500 Twin Cities that the 6-10 forward struggled because he “smoked too much marijuana.”

Kahn said Beasley told him “he’s not smoking anymore, and I told him that I would trust him as long as that was the case… he has developed a really good support system around him this past season in Miami. He’s hired people to help him grow up. He is growing up — he’s not grown up. He’s 21 … ”
–USA Today

Good luck with that, Dave. There’s a lot to do in Miami, and Michael still just wanted to get high. You think there’s going to be anything to keep him occupied during a Minnesota winter? In David’s defense, Beasley hasn’t been bad enough to be considered a bust. He’s put up pretty good numbers throughout his career, and Minnesota only had to give up two second round picks to get him. It’s probably a good idea for Kahn to trade draft picks, considering he’ll just waste them anyway.

Earlier this week, former Kansas stars Darrell Arthur and Mario “Super Nintendo” Chalmers were kicked out of the NBA’s rookie camp and fined $20,000 apiece.  The details:

Security at the resort near New York where the event took place found Arthur and Chalmers in a room with two women, and the scent of marijuana was detected. No drugs or drug paraphernalia were found, but having guests in the room violated NBA policy, and the two rookies were sent home.

Arthur and Chalmers apologized but denied using marijuana. Next year they’ll have to again attend the symposium, which addresses the challenges of making the transition to pro ball.

I think now would be a good time for everyone to freak out and have a hugely overblown reaction to this photo (full size thumbnailed below) of Chalmers with new Heat rookie teammate Michael Beasley in which Chalmers is holding what appears to be a small blunt, which — if my sources are correct — is a kind of “marihuana cigarette.”

I, for one, am shocked and outraged.  It’s always been my understanding that professional athletes, particularly NBA athletes, would never put illegal drugs into the temples that are their bodies.  Especially not something as addictive and damaging as marijuana.  Somebody call the police!  Stop these monsters before they hurt our children!

The NBA will be briefly interesting tonight, as some of the guys you may remember from this past March and April will hold jerseys in front of their chests and shake hands with Machiavellian shithead David Stern.

The draft has already sparked some trades, as the Pacers and raps swapped Jermaine O'Neal and TJ Ford, while the Nets are shipping Richard Jefferson to the Bucks for Yi Jianlan and Bobby Simmons.  Meanwhile, the buzz is that the Bulls will definitely take Derrick Rose #1, while Pat Riley is giving into senility in order to take OJ Mayo over Michael Beasley.

Oh , who am I kidding?  It's not remotely interesting.  I'm going to spend thirty seconds looking at a list of names and teams tomorrow morning, and I'm going to know just as much as everyone who spends two hours watching the draft tonight.  Thirty fucking seconds and I'll be an expert.  Meanwhile some retards are going to watch the whole thing and complain about ESPN's coverage.  Hey dumbasses, don't watch it.  The thing about jerseys and David Stern?  That's all that fucking happens.  Sports fans have gotta be some of the dumbest people on the planet.

(Full-size images of the Undrcrwn/adidas artwork here)