It shouldn’t really surprise anyone that the Indiana Pacers are in the position to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals tonight, as they’re the No. 3 seed in that division and they’re loaded with young, talented guys who can play strong defense. But I’m sure that most people expected the 2-seed New York Knicks to be the team that would ultimately lose to the 1-seed Miami Heat in the ECF. Alas, here we are on the verge of the Pacers pulling off a 4-1 series win over the Knicks tonight, unless Carmelo Anthony and JR Smith can locate their magic and stand up for themselves.

Obviously, a guy like Knicks owner James Dolan up there, seen moping and/or sleeping during Tuesday night’s loss to the Pacers, is going to be upset and embarrassed at this kind of series. But what about the average Knicks fan? Well, one Knicks fan is on his way to a viral video superstar this week, after his video rant about his team going to the NBA Finals hit the YouTubes, and I don’t even know what else to say.

Other than maybe use headphones if you’re at work, because this gentleman’s mouth is of the potty variety.

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I really don’t get you, youth of today. I really don’t. Sure, I did some stupid sh*t in my day, and not a moment goes by that I don’t regret acting like such a schmuck. But with all of the information and education that we have available for us now, there’s almost nothing left that we can get away with. So why on Earth would you let someone record your stupid face as you go gallon smashing in public? Next thing you know, some pro-milk advocacy group is lighting your house on fire and killing your pets. That’s the way the world works these days, folks.

Oh, and there really isn’t much more that I love than watching an a-hole’s face bounce off the cold, hard floor. Because, all jokes aside, adult me will stab a bitch if pranks like this cause milk prices to increase.

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Well, friends. We’re not going to get a better image from the NBA Playoffs than this one, Tweeted by CBS Sports’ Matt Moore last night. Hell, if I were picking the best overall sports photo from 2013, this beauty would already have a giant blue ribbon slapped on it, as it dined for free at Red Lobster this evening.

It doesn’t need much of a recap, obviously, as the Miami Heat absolutely demolished the Chicago Bulls in Game 2 last night – as I and probably everyone outside of Chicago predicted – and Joakim Noah didn’t bottle his emotions very well. Noah was ejected in the 4th quarter after sharing some choice words with official Scott Foster after the refs missed a goaltending call, and as you can see he was greeted by this woman on his way to the locker room.

But there’s more to this woman and her husband – the Heat Bro and Babe, if you will – than just this image, as the video of Noah’s ejection reveals.

UPDATE: This is apparently the woman, according to the Sportress of Blogitude. Wow.

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If you’re happy to see the Miami Heat lose game 1 of their East semis series against the Chicago Bulls, perhaps you’ll like to see the Heat portrayed as rusty Terminators while the Bulls mascot puts out the Miami logo fire by pissing on it. Taiwan Animation, everybody. Stick around for LeBron James drawn like Pitbull.

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Links

A Brief History Of Zooey Deschanel’s Musical Moments |UPROXX|

Bradley Cooper’s Häagen-Dazs Commercial Is Totally About Butts |Warming Glow|

A FilmDrunkard’s Encounter with Gary Busey |Film Drunk|

Conan’s Terrible Kentucky Derby Horse Names, Featuring Disturbing German Pornography |With Leather|

Pictures Of Emma Stone From The ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2′ Set May Drop A Huge Spoiler |Gamma Squad|

5 Things in ‘Bioshock Infinite’ You Might’ve Missed |Smoking Section|

REMINDER: Peter King Was Worse Than Everyone At Predicting The Draft |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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screengrab via SBN

After a brief hiatus to deal with objective weekly winners like DeAndre Jordan’s dunk on Brandon Knight, LeBron’s ridiculous circus posterization of Jason Terry and Doug Anderson’s destruction of the space-time continuum, the Wednesday Dunk Battle is back!

If this is your first Dunk Battle, here are the rules: You have to watch the following dunks and vote on which one is the best, because science doesn’t do itself. There’s a handy poll at the bottom, so take your time and go through each clip frame by frame, vote, then drop down into the comments section to let us know who you voted for.

This week’s dunks:

1. Russell Westbrook elevates and dunks on the Utah Jazz
2. LeBron James alley-oops the ball to himself off the backboard and dunks, because LeBron James
3. Blake Griffin goes for a finger roll, calls an audible, dunks his finger roll
4. Terrence Ross’ 360 180 degree jam

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In a story that seems like it was ripped from our nightmares, an 8-year old boy named Demetrius Gollett was at his great-grandmother’s home on February 18, when it caught fire. Demetrius was trapped in a hallway as the house burned around him, ultimately killing his great-grandmother and badly injuring his great-grandfather. Fortunately, two firefighters were able to rush into the fire and save Demetrius, but the boy still had to spend a month in a burn center, where he was unconscious for two weeks.

Demetrius is home with his family in Ft. Pierce, Florida now, and everyone seems to be trying to help him return to normalcy and make him happy. But it turns out that one man could take care of that all by himself.

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