Miami Dolphins running back Reggie Bush is not only coming off of the 1,000-rushing yard season that critics told him he’d never have in the NFL, but he’s also enjoying a nice 2012 campaign with 417 rushing yards through 5 games, which has him ranked 10th in the league and just 2 yards behind Ray Rice. To add to that fun, Bush has announced that he and his girlfriend, Lilit Avagyan, are having a child and he couldn’t be happier.

And then somewhere, in the deepest reaches of Hades, Kris Jenner slammed down her gauntlet of stem cells and screamed, “NOT ON MY WATCH!”

Though Kardashian and Bush ended their three-year relationship in 2010, and the reality star has gone on to marry, file for divorce and find another boyfriend, a source close to her alleges she’s upset over the pregnancy rumors, as Reggie was “the true love of her life” and secretly hoped they would one day be together.

The source claims that Kim feels it’s a “slap in the face” that Reggie would consider having a child with Avagyan, because he didn’t want to start a family with her, as he believed she was too caught up in fame and her reality series. (Via the HuffPo)

Also, I really enjoyed the USA Today’s “No sh*t, Sherlock” headline: “Reggie Bush is headed for parenthood but not with Kim Kardashian”. Man, that’s some fun obviousness. So why the hell should this even matter to Kardashian if she’s so happy with Kanye West? Let’s fire up the rumor machine.

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Being a Miami Dolphins fans comes with few true joys these days – or, well, for the last 40 years – so it’s nice to see the team do something outside of blowing two overtime wins in the past two weeks in classic bonehead fashion. In this case, a group of Miami Dolphins cheerleaders and former players OJ McDuffie and Troy Drayton visited the 411th Engineer Brigade – the “Brigade of Choice” – in Afghanistan this past weekend.

While my favorite posts about soldiers involve them coming home, I certainly don’t have a problem with very attractive women going to visit them.

“It makes my heart happy to be here and see the smiling faces on everyone I meet,” said Samantha Ruiz, a fourth-year cheerleader with the Dolphins.

Ruiz, a native of Miami and full-time student at Florida International University said, “I met a lot of amazing people with great stories. This has been a once in a lifetime experience.” (Via Regional Command East)

And it wasn’t just great for the cheerleaders, as the troops sincerely appreciated the opportunity to meet, speak with and get pictures and autographs from these young ladies. Oh yeah, and those player dudes, whoever they are.

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With the New York Jets sort of thriving under new offensive coordinator Tony Sparano, the Miami Dolphins’ focus should be on how to stop whatever plays he’s going to throw at them in what will most certainly be a big revenge game for the former Miami coach. But with the Dolphins, the focus is never what it should be, and is instead usually about something ridiculous. In this case, it’s Tim Tebow, the Jets backup QB who has thrown zero footballs in the regular season through two games.

In particular, the focus is apparently on his fame and the bitterness it can cause among athletes who don’t get as much media attention as the former Heisman Trophy winner. Today’s sour grapes have been plucked from the vines of Dolphins receiver Brian Hartline, who echoed Milwaukee Brewers closer John Axford’s previous sentiments that Tebow is no different than Kim Kardashian.

“That’s you guys, how much you love [him],” Hartline said of the media attention Tebow receives. “Everybody loves him, but the same people go with the Kardashians. I don’t know what they did, either.

“They’re on [magazine] covers everywhere. I mean, honestly. I know they’re really good people, do a lot of charity work. I just don’t know how they got started.” (Via the Sun-Sentinel)

Heeeeeeeeere’s the thing… for starters, as I just pointed out, this silly comparison was already made, so Hartline needs to freshen up his material a little. But Hartline might have himself a little case of amnesia, because if he really doesn’t know why Tebow has been the focus of so much hype since entering the NFL, I can remind him. Hartline probably won’t like it, but here is why…

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Two weeks ago, the NFL announced that it had signed some pretty heavy hitters to endorse a new line of fan gear for women, and while it’s not as awesome as when the league did this, it’s still a hell of a statement. Based on the fact that women comprise nearly half of pro football’s fan base, the NFL has brought in some powerful female figures to introduce Jane Everywoman to the “It’s My Team” gear, and the first images hit the webs today.

Among those powerful women are Miami Dolphins 1% owner Serena Williams and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who is repping her Cleveland Browns gear. Obviously she’s not a Buffalo Bills fan because Jack Donaghy eventually owns them, and he plays the flute, which is worse than the piano. Sports!

“Forty-five percent of fans are female and that continues to grow,” says Tracey Bleczinski, vice president of NFL consumer products. “We do have something for everyone, and this campaign aims to communicate that if you are living and wearing football, you can do it every day, year-round.”

Meanwhile, New York Jets owner Woody Johnson’s wife, Suzanne, is appearing in the ads and she wants women to understand it’s about infusing fashion with a lady’s gameday attire, so she can look good when the New York crowd starts chanting, “Show your t*ts!”

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It’s pretty safe to say that things aren’t going too well for Chad Johnson right now. The 34-year old receiver has probably played his last days in the NFL, as the Miami Dolphins have cut him in the wake of – but not necessarily because of – his arrest for domestic assault on his wife, Evelyn Lozada Ochocinco, and their VH1 reality show has also been canceled. Seeing as this is the second time that Johnson has dealt with domestic violence charges – the first incident occurred in 2000 – it’s safe to say the NFL won’t look too favorably upon Johnson playing for some time.

This fall from grace has caused some people to look back to a comment that Johnson made recently, as he declared that if the Dolphins cut him, he’d probably turn to a life in pornography. Joke or not, that can now be his reality, as the people at PornHub are offering Johnson a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

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Ochocinco and Terrell Owens got together at some point during the winter, shotgunned a marathon of ‘Necessary Roughness’ and decided they could get their shit together and have a Diva Wide Receiver Renaissance. T.O. showed up in Seattle to run the 40 in 4.45 and earn himself a one year, $1 million contract. Ochocinco showed up in Miami, legally changed his name back to Chad Johnson (because serious business) and focused on the finer points of his game, using the experience he’s earned from a decade in pro football to …

Wait, I’m sorry, what?

According to [Davie police captain Dale] Engle, Johnson and his wife, Evelyn Lozada, were driving to their home in Davie after dinner Saturday night when Lozada found a receipt for a box of condoms in the car, sparking an argument that got “heated.”

When they arrived at their home, the argument “escalated quite a bit,” Engle said, and Johnson and Lozada butted heads, giving Lozada a laceration on her forehead. Lozada told police that Johnson purposely head-butted her, while Johnson told police it was accidental. (via Palm Beach Post)

welp,

This is one of those situations where blogger analysis is useless, because Jesus, I’ve never found myself “accidentally headbutting” someone so hard it opens them up in an argument over condom receipts. Johnson was released from jail on $2,500 bond and Miami terminated his contract within the day.

You’d think the rest of the Dolphins would just throw up their hands, say “okay, fine, whatever” and move on with their lives, but we live in a world where everyone has an opinion, so someone’s inevitably got to have the “who cares if he rage-headbutted a lady, we’ve got football to play” one. Dolphins linebacker Karlos Dansby, everybody:

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