ESPN NBA analyst and Grantland honcho Bill Simmons is the center of even more Twitterverse vitriol than usual today after he made a statement about Memphis Grizzlies fans on his latest podcast that was a bit of a leap, to be nice. Of Grizz fans and their apparent tendencies to get down in the dumps when their team is losing (or is swept by the San Antonio Spurs in the Western Conference Finals), Simmons said:

“I didn’t realize the effect [The MLK assassination] had on that city… I think from people we talk to and stuff we’ve read, the shooting kind of sets the tone with how the city thinks about stuff. We were at Game 3. Great crowd, they fall behind and the whole crowd got tense. They were like, ‘Oh no, something bad is going to happen.’ And it starts from that shooting.”

Now, I’ve been to Memphis a few times and imbibed at some bars on Beale Street, and not once did anyone say, “Excuse me, is this the line for the bathroom? Of course it’s long, it’s been long ever since MLK was assassinated” or “I’m sorry, we’re out of Coors Light just like the day that MLK was assassinated”. My point being that if people in Memphis carry the burden of that horrible day in 1968 through all of their day-to-day activities, from making awesome BBQ to watching NBA games, I have never seen or heard it.

But in his defense, maybe Simmons has. After all, as the Godfather of this sports blog game, he’s traveled from city-to-city as ESPN’s Johnny Everyman while spitting awkward fire with Magic Johnson and Mike Wilbon for pre-game HOT SPROTS TAKES. So maybe Simmons has interacted with actual Memphis fans and they’ve told him that when the Grizzlies lose basketball games, they’re reminded of MLK’s assassination.

We honestly don’t know unless we ask the man himself, so I reached out to Bill Simmons* and he provided a more elaborate explanation of what he meant by that strange jump to conclusion.

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I am a basketball expert. Because of this, I can say with confidence that missing seven consecutive lay-ups is not a good way to win the Western Conference finals.

The announcers play it off as a spectacular defensive span by the Spurs, but it reminded me the world of those times when I’d have to do lay-ups in gym class, and I was just a little fat white kid with negative-a-hundred basketball experience and the coordination of a pug. Just desperate hopping and extended arms and basketballs hitting the bottom of the rim. The Spurs probably could’ve walked backwards with their hands in the air and played the same defense.

Lionel Hollins, if you’re reading this, check your e-mail. I sent you something. The subject is MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES SHOULD TRY HARD TO NOT BE THIS BAD AT BASKETBALL RIGHT NOW. Lots of good information inside.

What you’re looking at is the practice floor for the Vancouver Grizzlies, the 1995 NBA expansion squad that spent six years in Canada before bailing for the bright lights of metropolitan … uh, Memphis. Thanks to an ad placed on Craigslist Vancouver, the floor can be yours, assuming you have over $10,000, a place to store a regulation-sized basketball court and any desire whatsoever to relive the twilight of Blue Edwards’ career. Oh, and assuming a PT Cruiser with the Toronto Raptors logo painted on the side is unavailable.

The ad, if you’re interested:

Me, a NSND sexy young sports blogger in a Washington Capitals jersey. You, a floor with a bear on it. I watched you on television once when I was younger … the team sucked but you were a great floor. If you want me to own you, please e-mail me. I don’t know how to play basketball. Pics attached.

Sorry, wrong ad.

Our company has moved into a new building which used to house the training court for the Vancouver Grizzlies and we are looking for anyone interested in taking the floor off of our hands!

Asking $13, 000. Pictures attached. Perfect for any fan of the Grizzlies when they were around or even an NBA collector!

Please reply to this ad! (via Vancouver Craigslist)

Here’s an idea … why don’t we start a Kickstarter to buy the floor, then cut it up into squares and hand it out to everyone who contributed? When I started as editor-in-chief of With Leather, my number one career goal was “own something Benoit Benjamin has walked on,” followed by “hack up a 1990s floor”.

[h/t to That NBA Lottery Pick]

The Clippers aren’t the ones getting smacked right now, but it’s still funny. (h/t to Ben Chew)

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Links

10 Amazing Predictions For This Week In Sports |With Leather|

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‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: ‘The Old Gods and the New’ |Warming Glow|

The Best Of #Andy Dwyer |UPROXX|

Mad Men Discussion: Mr. Belding Does Not Care For Your Cool Whip Pitch |UPROXX|

Supercut: Kickboxer, Just the Kicking |Film Drunk|

WWE Raw Open Discussion Thread 5/7/12: Fat Guy, Comin’ Through |With Leather|

Yes, The NBA’s Seven-Game First Round Series Is Still Quite Unnecessary |Smoking Section|

This Wounded Veteran’s Transformation Is The Tearjerker Of The Day |Gamma Squad|

15 Alluring Images of Elisabeth Moss, ‘Mad Men’s’ Least Appreciated Beauty |Warming Glow|

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Or, “honk honk”.

Earlier today we wrote about Charles Barkley calling out UFC/WWE star Brock Lesnar during last night’s Clippers/Grizzlies game, but the most threatening moment of the night goes to the guy in the front row who decided to jam two fingers up Marc Gasol’s asshole when the opportunity presented himself.

I don’t know if he’s trying to goose him or bounce his nuts or what, but it’s hilariously invasive, and if any NBA fan this year deserved a ball to the face it’s this dude. He’s not too far from having a ball in his face already.

Video of the illicit confrontation is after the jump.

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Two major points of interest here:

1. Whenever he’s within 200 feet of the Memphis city limits, Jerry “The King” Lawler becomes awesome. I don’t know what I like more, the fact that he’s piledriving a guy on a basketball court during a timeout or the fact that he’s got spandex King pants that match his Grizzlies jersey.

2. Charles Barkley just stuck up for WWE Superstar John Cena (a job usually reserved for women and little kids covered in wristbands) and threatened former UFC Heavyweight Champion and current WWE simulated arm-breaker Brock Lesnar, promising an ultimate team-up with Shaquille O’Neal if Brock doesn’t leave Cena alone. I’m sad he didn’t threaten to Five Buck Box him in the diverticulitis.

The boast seems like just another one of Sir Charles’ ridiculously spoken sentences, but you never know … Barkley does have connections in the wrestling business:

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