The Clippers aren’t the ones getting smacked right now, but it’s still funny. (h/t to Ben Chew)

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Or, “honk honk”.

Earlier today we wrote about Charles Barkley calling out UFC/WWE star Brock Lesnar during last night’s Clippers/Grizzlies game, but the most threatening moment of the night goes to the guy in the front row who decided to jam two fingers up Marc Gasol’s asshole when the opportunity presented himself.

I don’t know if he’s trying to goose him or bounce his nuts or what, but it’s hilariously invasive, and if any NBA fan this year deserved a ball to the face it’s this dude. He’s not too far from having a ball in his face already.

Video of the illicit confrontation is after the jump.

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Two major points of interest here:

1. Whenever he’s within 200 feet of the Memphis city limits, Jerry “The King” Lawler becomes awesome. I don’t know what I like more, the fact that he’s piledriving a guy on a basketball court during a timeout or the fact that he’s got spandex King pants that match his Grizzlies jersey.

2. Charles Barkley just stuck up for WWE Superstar John Cena (a job usually reserved for women and little kids covered in wristbands) and threatened former UFC Heavyweight Champion and current WWE simulated arm-breaker Brock Lesnar, promising an ultimate team-up with Shaquille O’Neal if Brock doesn’t leave Cena alone. I’m sad he didn’t threaten to Five Buck Box him in the diverticulitis.

The boast seems like just another one of Sir Charles’ ridiculously spoken sentences, but you never know … Barkley does have connections in the wrestling business:

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Haha, no I don’t mean that Rick Welts has been fired, sillies. I mean that the President of the Phoenix Suns is gay, as per an interview published in the New York Times yesterday. And of course he’s gay. He’s wearing a pink shirt, for the love of Lady Gaga. In all seriousness, though, the 58-year old chose to finally break his silence to help create a conversation for all male team sports about homosexuality.

“This is one of the last industries where the subject is off limits,” said Mr. Welts, who stands now as a true rarity, a man prominently employed in professional men’s team sports, willing to declare his homosexuality. “Nobody’s comfortable in engaging in a conversation.” (Via New York Times)

It’s definitely an important conversation and I hope that Welts’ sacrifice isn’t for naught. Statistics would strongly suggest that there are many gay men in professional sports, and it must be difficult for them to keep hiding their real identities behind fears of discrimination and physical threats. After all, they can’t all be as macho as Johnny Weir.

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*Self-proclaimed.

After the Miami Heat defeated the Boston Celtics to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals, LeBron James told reporters that he was sorry for the way “The Decision” happened. He claimed that he knew that the only way he could ever beat the Boston Celtics would be teaming up with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, and that’s why he chose Miami. Apparently he was so blinded with rage and ambition after he gave up lost to the Celtics in the playoffs last year that he was willing to forgo his future as the game’s biggest star to create a miniature Dream Team, which is fine because it’s certainly working out well. LeBron admitted that he’s been through a lot since that fateful TV programming blunder, and he is simply sorry for it.

Responded the entire city of Cleveland, “Aw, it’s cool, boo. We were just playing.”

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Before we get to last night’s bipolar NBA action, the Orlando Sentinel, which notably played a major role in Shaquille O’Neal leaving Orlando, has launched PleaseStayDwight.com, which takes people to an interactive graphic on the newspaper’s website. This graphic, as seen above, allows fans to dress Dwight up in a variety of jerseys, including the Miami Heat, New York Knicks, and most notably the Los Angeles Lakers, as most people assume Dwight is heading to them anyway. The Sentinel’s effort isn’t to be confused with StayDwight.com, which is a Magic fan/celebrity booking agent’s effort to keep Dwight in Orlando, or this schmuck’s effort to get a street named after Dwight. Regardless, Dwight has expressed his discontent with the Sentinel, and this is all too familiar.

Of course I’ve simply fallen into a dying newspaper’s trap, but I’m mostly just pointing out that if you thought Carmelo Anthony rumors and headlines were bad, get ready for a real sh*tshow.

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