The With Leather Fantasy Football Support Group: Pick Your Poison For Week 11

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.20.12

My favorite part of this past fantasy football Sunday was a Tweet from ESPN’s resident guy who points out the obvious, Darren Rovell, about Jacksonville Jaguars QB Chad Henne only being owned in .5% of ESPN fantasy leagues. Well, no sh*t, Sherlock. If you were in my league and you had Henne on your bench, you’d either have to be the biggest Jags homer on the planet or every QB that you had on your roster has died this season. And if you started him, I’d tie you to a wooden pole and burn you for witchcraft.

But as always, that’s the fun of fantasy football hindsight. It’s easy for Rovell and Co. to wag their fingers and shout, “I can’t believe nobody had the fortitude to pick this guy up!” Now they get to snort and chortle while their colleagues in the fantasy expert division bang their computers with rocks and try to figure out what went wrong.

This is where we join them, in the With Leather Fantasy Football Support Group, to complain about the guys who either unexpectedly spanked us or those who let us down beyond belief.

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The National Foodball League Makes Us Hungry For The Football Season

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.04.12

As I’ve mentioned in the past, much to your undoubted excitement, I spend way too much time on Twitter and Tumblr all for the purpose of entertaining you. I mean, if I don’t scour the Internet for GIFs of Brooklyn Decker and Kate Upton, then who will? Sure, I could be rewarded with a Pulitzer one day, but I’ll settle for a Peabody.

In between the GIFs and the jugs, though, I stumble across random sites that simply make me giggle. Today’s chuckle maker comes courtesy of the Tumblr page, The National Foodball League, which combines three of my favorite things – football, puns, and food. If I can appeal to Will Riggins, the artist behind these delightful food (and other) images, I would one day like to see Ryan Bananahill, Veggie Bush, and Flan Carpenter.

I’d make them myself, but I’m fat and it won’t end well.

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Monday Night Football: Atlanta Vs. St. Olaf

Written by Brandon Stroud / 12.27.11

betty-white-mnf

Hank Williams Jr. must be rolling over in his grave.

By way of Rant Sports and anyone else who watches actual sports instead of pro wrestling on Monday nights comes the latest in a string of “let’s get people Bocephus might hate to do his job” intro videos, this one spotlighting Sole Surviving Golden Girl and temporary-internet-sensation-turned-person-we’re-tired-of-seeing-in-commercials Betty White.

Betty’s entire schtick these days is that she is Very Old, and the open brings that in spades — on-field collisions are compared to old folks driving, a brief discussion on the elderly Tebowing is had and at one point she calls Matt Ryan “hot”. That’s the best one, because seriously, only someone on the ass-end of 80 would say that. Also, Drew Brees set a passing record, but defenses in 2011′s NFL are forced to play like Snickers commercial Betty White so we’re gonna cover it in asterisks and move forward remembering this clip as the most important thing to occur.

You can check out the video (and a better one) after the jump.

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“Suck For Luck” Power Rankings: Week 8

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.01.11

Sadly, not photoshopped.

 

Suck for Luck. It’s a pretty simple phrase, right? I mean, it shouldn’t take a team of rocket scientists to comprehend that Stanford QB Andrew Luck is the top QB prospect in college football right now and his name rhymes with suck. Therefore, “Suck for Luck” isn’t exactly unique and I certainly don’t take credit for coming up with the phrase, and this certainly isn’t the only site that posts a “Suck for Luck” power ranking each week. (We’ve just been posting this one longer than the others, so thanks for that.)

I bring this up because I read a humorous argument on the Twitters last week between people taking credit for the “Suck for Luck” campaign, with one person going as far as to claim he came up with it when Luck was a freshman. I won’t point any fingers because this is frivolous and these people don’t deserve the attention, but I just wanted to take a moment to remind people that fans of the Indianapolis Colts and the Miami Dolphins actually have a reason to remain involved with their seasons, no matter what Dwight Freeney and Karlos Dansby think about it.

Let’s not ruin that by being douchebags about taking credit for something that a 5-year old could have created. If we can all agree on that, let’s get on with this week’s suck.

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Falcons 35, Dream Team 31: A Recap In Pictures

Written by Ashley Burns / 09.19.11

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Last night, the mainstream sports media salivated for hours over Michael Vick’s return – again – to Atlanta to face his old team, the Falcons. Of course, the whole team is practically different with a brand new franchise QB, but that doesn’t stop people from barfing rhetoric over what Vick meant to the Falcons, how his success with the Philadelphia Eagles affects his former fans, and how some fans still worship him over Matt Ryan. Basically, it’s a very lazy implication that white people love Matty Ice and black people love Vick.

Whatever the case may be, it’s our job to look at what truly matters – the actual football game. Each week, I’ll be breaking down a Game of the Week using my cock sure NFL expertise, scientific theories, and pure, unadulterated fact to recap the action and blow your minds. Now put on your assless pants, because we’re going to get funky with the Falcons’ exciting victory over the Eagles.

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Are The Falcons Ready For Prime Time?

Written by JOSH Z / 12.28.10

The New Orleans Saints clinched a playoff berth after defeating the Atlanta Falcons on Monday Night Football last night, 17-14. The Falcons, who headed into last night’s game having clinched the NFC South title, gave up a Drew Brees TD pass to Jimmy Graham in the last four minutes of the game as the Saints avenged their loss against Atlanta in Week 3.

“It feels good,” Brees said. “You just want to punch your ticket to the big show, and we’ve done that. Obviously, Carolina needs to beat Atlanta next week so we can get that one seed.”

“We don’t want to feel this way the rest of the season,” said Matt Ryan, who lost at home for only the second time as the Falcons’ starting quarterback. “We’re going to work hard to make sure we don’t.”

–NFL.com

Whereas many championship teams experience some kind of “hangover” or dropoff in performance in their subsequent seasons, the Saints are 8-2 in games decided by 10 points or less, and their only loss by 10 points or more was their bizarre Week 7 outing against Cleveland. In this age of NFL “parity,” the Saints have positioned themselves nicely to repeat as NFC champs. The Buffalo Bills are ready to see a little bit more of that parity. I bet they are.

The Falcons, meanwhile, have managed wins against St. Louis, Baltimore and Green Bay, and that’s about it as far as potential playoff teams go. Both Atlanta and New Orleans have benefited from favorable scheduling this season. Atlanta ranks 17th in total defense, and their chances of making that playoff run remain uncertain. They’ll have a first round bye, which is kinda pointless since Christmas has already happened.

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