Arizona Cardinals quarterback / baby-daddy / man-whore to the stars Matt Leinart made news when he fired uber-agency CAA for undisclosed reasons last week. This week, SPORTSbyBROOKS un-undiscloses those reasons:
SbB has recently learned that… the main reason Leinart rejected the representation superpower is he was enraged that Peyton Manning, also a CAA client and repped by [Tom] Condon, got to host "Saturday Night Live" before he did. Seriously.
Brooks doesn't come close to hinting at what kind of source he has, so this hilarious tidbit of news will have to stay filed under "Internet rumor," but I, for one, believe it. Not because it's believable — it sounds entirely too ridiculous — but because Brooks not only has a rep for getting the inside track on stories, but also because he's out in LA, doin' what he do, and people out there have notoriously loose lips. So, at the very least, this is a real-world rumor, and not merely an Internet one.
Regardless, I don't understand why he'd be angry. If he wants to be on a show no one watches, I'm sure the Blog Show will have him as a guest.
The NFL FanHaus picked up on some decent Matt Leinart gossip: not only did the Cards' QB of the future make out with Alyssa Milano, but now he's been spotted at a Marc Anthony-J.Lo concert with future With Leather basement prisoner respected girlfriend Scarlett Johansson:
"Even though they arrived together, they dodged all the photo opportunities," an eyewitness tells Star… Scarlett and Matt looked very flirty and very happy together – although it did seem as if Matt was slightly more into Scarlett."
Now see, this is where gossip becomes a huge pain in the ass. Holy fuck, two attractive people were spotted TALKING! That means they definitely had sex! Now, because it ran as a gossip item, we're going to have to deal with future ledes like this: "Johansson, previously linked to Matt Leinart…" It's such bullshit. Like, if I had sex with every attractive woman I spoke to — wait. I guess that's a bad example.
What's the lesson here? There is no vaguely sports-related gossip item I won't run with if it gives me a chance to publish a Scarlett picture. Her breasts are made from ambrosia, freshly spun silk, and heavy cream. It's true. I read it somewhere.
What better way to ring in the New Year than with useless A-list gossip from New Year's Eve? I'll tell you: waking up in an unfamiliar apartment with a dirty minx whose last name you don't know. But, since I didn't do that, useless gossip it is! First up: Matt Leinart! Britney Spears!
[Spears] was spied on Dec. 29 at the Jackrabbit Supper Club cozying up to… Matt Leinart. "They were flirting," a mole tells Us, with another positing [that] "Paris is going to be pissed."
But Hilton… probably won't be as peeved as basketball player Brynn Cameron, Leinart's sometime squeeze and the mother of his 2-month-old son. "Brynn is not happy," a snitch tells Us. "But it was a one-time occurrence."
Oooh… juicy! They were in the same room! That means Leinart definitely banged out the C-sectioned mother of two/washed-up pop starlet. Of course, he did sleep with Hilton, soooo… I'm not going to defend his judgment. Next up: Tom Brady! Miami!
[Dreamboat]… jetted off to South Beach – via private plane, of course – to ring in 2007. The boys wound up at the Delano hotel where party animal Lindsay Lohan was hosting a New Year’s bash… Toasting 2007 with the two-time Super Bowl MVP were “Daybreak” hunk Taye Diggs; singers Kelly Rowland and Queen Latifah; ex-boy banders JD Chasez and Lance Bass and Bass’ on-again, off-again boytoy Reichen Lehmkuhl; ex-“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” sis Michelle Trachtenberg; “Entourage” wheeler-dealer Kevin Connolly; hip-hop honcho Scott Storch; party gal Kimberly Stewart and rapper T.I.
So, basically… the party fucking sucked. Got it. Well, except for Miss Trachtenberg. I'd kidnap her and keep her tied up in my basement, if you know what I'm saying. Wink, wink.
The result of Matt Leinart's post-Paris Hilton post-break-up sex with ex-girlfriend Brynn Cameron is a healthy baby boy. Leinart missed practice in Arizona yesterday to attend the birth of his first child, named Cole, on Tuesday night. He didn't miss much at practice, as Denny Green was employing The Music Man theory of coaching, where he had all the players sit quietly for several hours imagining how they were going to lose at Green Bay on Sunday. Hey, it worked in the movie.
No word yet on Cole's middle name, but I imagine it's something along the lines of "Ka-Ching!"… Cole Ka-Ching! Cameron. It's got a nice flow to it. And I like the exclamation point. I kinda wish I had one in my name. "Matthew Danger Ufford" is just a little too WASP-y and unimaginative, y'know?
Sources have told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that Matt Leinart will start for the Arizona Cardinals beginning next week. Right. "Sources". Sources is a nice way of saying "Dennis Green told me off the record, because he hasn't broken the news to Kurt Warner yet."
Jeez, Kurt Warner. I know he was due to lose his job sometime this year, but I figured it would be from an injury, and not until Week 6. But yeah, you don't make a case for remaining the starter when you throw three INT's (two in the red zome) in a game you lose by two points. And the game-losing fumble on a snap in field goal territory didn't win him any friends. That makes 8 fumbles in three games, I think. It was hard to count them all because they happened so frequently. Even Daunte Culpepper's watching SportsCenter and saying, "Wow, this guy can't hold on to the ball." And Dave Krieg's like, "Seriously, are his hands smaller than mine?" And Jim Abbott's wondering why he became a pitcher instead of a quarterback.
Anyway, good luck to Matt Leinart. A lot of people say he'll never be a good NFL quarterback because his arm isn't strong enough or because he has too many girlfriends or because of his Hollywood looks. But they said that about me, too, and I made it. So I'm pulling for him. We're practically the same person.
What's that? He impregnated his ex-girlfriend after breaking up with her, slept with Paris Hilton, and is friends with Nick Lachey? Wow. Nevemind what I said. I could never be friends with Nick Lachey.
Note: That's Matt with Kristin Cavallari from that MTV reality show that feels too staged to be about real people but too poorly acted to be entirely scripted. I would drink a gallon of her pee just to see where it came from.
