If You Missed The Good Sam Roadside Assistance 500, Here’s A 25-Car Pile-Up

Written by Brandon Stroud / 10.08.12

Talladega crash Matt Kinseth

Here’s a lesson to the people in charge of NASCAR: Don’t call something the “Roadside Assistance 500″ unless you’re ready for 500 people needing roadside assistance.

During the final lap of Sunday’s Good Sam Roadside Assistance 500 at the Talladega Superspeedway, Tony Stewart got caught up blocking to keep his lead, cut across Michael Waltrip and not only crashed everyone in the race, but everyone in the parking lot and like half the people on the freeway. Matt Kenseth managed to avoid the wreck (“The Big One”) and win the race. NASCAR spent an hour after the finish trying to sort the final order.

If you’re the type who doesn’t really like auto racing but loves crash videos, thank you for visiting our comedy sports blog. I’d like you to enjoy the clip in your own way, but to also keep in mind that Dale Earnhardt Jr. hates you and thinks you’re a Philistine.

“It’s not safe. It’s not. It’s bloodthirsty,” Dale Earnhardt Jr. said. “If that’s what people want, that’s ridiculous.”

“If this was what we did every week, I wouldn’t be doing it,” he said. “I’ll just put it to you that way. If this was how we raced every week, I’d find another job. That’s what the package is doing. It’s really not racing. It’s a little disappointing. It cost a lot of money right there.

“If this is how we’re going to continue to race and nothing is going to change, how about NASCAR builds the cars? It’ll save us a lot of money.”

Video of the crash is after the jump, jerk.

Additional analysis from 23rd-place finisher Clint Bowyer:

“That’s just Talladega. That’s why we all come out and watch.”

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Maybe Next Time, Juan Pablo Montoya

Written by Ashley Burns / 02.28.12

After a 36-hour delay and what felt like 36 caution flags, Matt Kenseth was finally declared the winner of the 2012 Daytona 500 after he held off the feisty Dale Earnhardt, Jr., but nobody really cares about that, because DID YOU SEE THAT CRASH??? Juan Pablo Montoya inexplicably slammed into a track dryer truck, which is, of course, just a giant jet engine. So Montoya’s crash led to quite the toasty bonfire. Thankfully, neither Montoya nor the driver of the truck were severely harmed.

But out of a massive inferno rises a different kind of winner – aside from, you know, Kenseth who won the race and all – as driver Brad Keselowski became the first NASCAR driver to ever Tweet a race photo from inside his car. Keselowski Tweeted a cell phone pic of his view of Montoya’s crash and it resulted in him gaining 100,000 followers within an hour. Damn, son. That’s exposed breast followers right there.

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