So remember that whole revelation yesterday that everyone suddenly wants to hate the St. Louis Cardinals? Great job with that, Matt Holliday. Obviously, I knew that his flop into Marco Scutaro’s legs would immediately give the people I’ve been trying to talk some sense into everything they needed to justify unsubstantiated, pure hatred for the Cards, but part of me held out hope that someone might defend the big doofus. Nope.

Again, well done, Holliday. You better get that fly swatter you call a bat working tomorrow night or the 2-1 deficit will be on your shoulders. Meanwhile, tonight is all about the team that we don’t need a reason to hate. That’s right, the Detroit Tigers.

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Since winning the 2011 World Series, the St. Louis Cardinals have had a special motto during their road trips – #HappyFlight. Because most of the guys on the roster came up with each other in the minors, they have one of those brotherly bond things happening that I’m sure is only slightly less annoying to non-Cardinals fans than hearing about how their fans, of which I am one, are the classiest and most intelligent in baseball. *tilts top hat, spits tobacco juice*

But as for those happy flights, the Cardinals just try to have fun and keep everyone happy, which is why they showed up to AT&T Park yesterday wearing the goofiest outfits they could find. Led by David Freese, who wore some sort of Dr. Seuss-mescaline-inspired red tuxedo, and Lance Berkman in a bright pink ruffled tux, the reigning world champs shot a torpedo of hilarity into the bond between fashion and sports. And then they hit the field and committed 3 errors to hand the game to the San Francisco Giants.

Perhaps before they play the Los Angeles Dodgers today, they can wear cargo nets between their legs.

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Well, that was exciting.  If you had four hours and 40 minutes of free time last night, I hope you spent it watching the Padres-Rockies play-in game.  First Colorado was up 3-0, then San Diego got up 5-3 thanks to an Adrian Gonzalez grand slam, then the Rox chipped away until they had a 6-5 lead, then it got tied up and they went to extra innings.  Without getting into the details too much, most of the runs were scored as a direct result of outfielders playing Little League defense — bad routes, poor hand-eye coordination.

Extra innings, yadda yadda, Pads get a two-run homer in the 13th from Scott Hairston and send out Trevor Hoffmann to save the game.  Back-to-back doubles from Kaz Matsui and Troy Tulowitzki, followed by a Matt Holliday triple, tied the game.  Then Holliday tried to score on a shallow flyout to right field, and he missed the plate on his slide but got called safe.  It was the wrong call, but whatever.  At least somebody finally ended the game.

Then the Rockies celebrated with Coors Light, which ensured that nobody got drunk.  The End.

(Photo: Getty Images)