It’s just some fat girl walking in a swimsuit. I talk about basketball in a moment.

Sports

Dwight Howard Strongly Considering Playing Overseas - I wish I was famous enough to have this be a headline about me. “Brandon Stroud Thinking About Swimming In Mediterranean, Probably Won’t”. That would be so awesome. [Smoking Section]

Kenny Florian and JZ Cavalcante Want to Kick Each Others Stupid Nuts - I write a lot about pro wrestling so I can’t make a lot of gay jokes about something obviously not gay (nor should I make gay jokes about gay things, but work with me here). However, it would be nice if MMA guys were at least aware of how super gay they are when they say they want each others’ nuts. [Cage Potato]

The World Cup Truffle Shuffle Kid is My New Hero - Sometimes a sports story is so important it gets covered on the movie section of our network. This fat kid lifting up his shirt at the World Cup is one of those moments. [Film Drunk]

Al Michaels is a Man For All Seasons, So Long As There Are Four - I miss those days of childhood innocence where all the sports announcers seemed like cool guys who loved sports. I thought Craig Kilborn was so funny. Sigh. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

With Leather

The Best and Worst of WWE Money in the Bank 2011 - Before you read today’s Best and Worst of Raw, go back and read the more-or-less “Best and Best” recap of one of the best pay-per-views ever. If you don’t watch wrestling, this is a great place to start. That girl on the left is in it, and boy, is she just as awesome as she looks. [With Leather]

Kate Upton is a Chubbish Ball of Attainable Fat Lady - Okay, sorry for that hoggish monster in the intro video. We won’t be covering her again. Go here to see the last time we did, and suffer through 50 pictures of her before reading comments from cool guys with hot, skinny girlfriends who just don’t think she’s “all that”. [With Leather]

2011 Women’s World Cup in Pictures - And then, enjoy girls who are extremely fit! And one awesome kid who is not. [With Leather]

Punte Interviews Matt Cassel - My dumb wrestling recaps get a bunch of traffic that should go to stuff like this, where Josh talks to actual sports celebrities about things that matter. Like, uh, their abdominal muscles. Well, read it anyway. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Owling is the New Planking - The best thing about these dumb photo memes is that the people who do them have the attention span of a rake, so they stop doing them about two weeks in. I’m sure in two weeks owling will be out of style and Gilbert Arenas will be doing handstands and tweeting about how awesome they are. Do it, it’s called HANDING! [UPROXX]

At Long Last, The New Rebecca Black Single Has Arrived - And it’s about how famous she is! What’s with all these songs about people telling singers they’re never going to make it? Who does that? I’ve never gone to a concert and walked up to the musicians and said “man, you guys are just never going to sell a lot of albums”. [Uproxx]

TV’s 20 Most Punchable Faces - I’m still sad that any number of Parks and Recreation secondary characters I suggested didn’t make the list. Come on, Marcia Langman! She’s like Marcia Gay Harden in “Office” form! [Warming Glow]

Doritos Says Women Prefer Gaming to Sex - Why are we asking Doritos things? They’ve been trying to tell us “Cool Ranch” is a legitimate flavor for something to have for over 20 years. [Gamma Squad]

Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Matt Cassel led his team to an AFC West title last season. Not bad for a guy that never started a game in college. When K-Swiss had their four-day shoot to restart their awesome Kenny Powers “MFCEO” campaign, With Leather’s Josh Zerkle was invited to check it out and spend time with the athletes supporting the California-based shoe brand. Cassel was reached via phone on his way home from relief work in Joplin and asked about his experiences with the K-Swiss campaign.  Portions of this Q&A were edited for clarity and space.

How did you fare on camera for the commercial shoot in Wilmington, NC?

To be completely honest, I have no idea how I fared on camera, because most of the first day I was there, Patrick [Willis] was there and he had his shirt off the entire time, and I just…I don’t think he had a shirt on the entire day. Let’s just put it that way.

[Laughing]

I told them, “Look, I’m wearing a shirt, okay?” I, for some reason, was not genetically blessed with the six-pack and that whole deal. So as you watch the video, I think you’re going to recognize, one, that I was overshadowed from the body standpoint, but that’s okay. I told them, “Maybe you could play around with the special effects, hook me up, ya know?”

[Laughing]

But seriously, it was a blast. We had a lot of fun. K-Swiss is a great company, and to go to Wilmington and do a photo shoot and commercial shoot with Danny McBride or Kenny Powers was totally cool because I’m a Kenny Powers fan.

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It looks like Funny Or Die has officially embraced the longstanding Tosh.0 tradition of cramming your funny video full of sports celebrities to get it covered everywhere on the Internet — just a week after they recast Dennis Haysbert as Terrence Mann in a Twilight-flavored Field of Dreams sequel, Funny Or Die has revisited the Kenny Powers K-Swiss endorsement by having him take over the company and stock it with everyone from Matt Cassel to Rey Mysterio.

Watch the full video below, with two major warnings:

1. It is extremely funny, and
2. It features Kenny Powers, so please anticipate the foul language and adult situations that result.

This includes boob mugs and high-fiving dead animals.

Because this is also television related, be sure to head over to Warming Glow and watch all the awesome follow-up and behind-the-scenes videos that go along with it. Who knew you could bottle the scent … of boner?

[h/t Cajun Boy]

Patriots quarterback Matt Cassel had a rough night out in Tampa: another man peed on him.  For free?  Lucky!

The football star was in line for the bathroom at ESPN’s Tampa Bay Super Bowl bash Friday night when a drunken reveler tried to cut in front of him. “Matt told him to wait his turn and headed into the urinals,” a spy tells us. Moments later, the fella barged in and proceeded to purposefully pee directly on Cassel’s leg. After security tossed the drunk, Cassel headed back out into the crowd, wet pants and all.

Wait, so he… turned the other cheek?  He didn’t freak out and take a swing at the guy? Dammit, Matt Cassel, your responsible, even-tempered approach to adversity gets me nowhere.  Do you care nothing of my business?

Listen, pro athletes, I need you people to go ahead and beat the hell out of drunks like this.  Or stab them. Don’t do it for me.  Do it for yourselves.  If I’ve learned anything from the movies, it’s that stabbing solves everything.  Especially knife fights.

Thursday night football.  Doesn’t have quite the same ring as Sunday or Monday, but it’ll have to do.  The Jets blew a 24-6 lead, allowed the Pats to tie the game on a touchdown with one second remaining in regulation, then went on to win in overtime 34-31.  As was said in last night’s live-blog at KSK, it was the most boring division rivalry overtime game to determine first place played in primetime, ever.

Matt Cassel somehow threw for 400 yards and three touchdown passes, which is odd, because watching the game the only thing I could think was “career backup.”  Don’t ask that guy for anything longer than a 15-yard completion.  On the other side of the ball, Brett Favre didn’t even throw an interception, so you KNOW it wasn’t a fun game to watch.

There are only two ways you cared about this game.  One was you had fantasy players involved.  The other is you’re a douchebag.  Sorry.  Facts is facts.

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As the sports world continues to reel from Tom Brady’s knee injury, Las Vegas has quickly established that it does NOT have faith in Matt Cassel.  Specifically, the Patriots became 2.5-point underdogs for Sunday’s game against the Jets, the first time the Pats haven’t been favored in a regular season game since 2006.  Bodog‘s Sportsbook manager explained:

“There never has been one injury, so early in the season, that has affected football and a team’s chance of winning more than the Tom Brady injury…  The Patriots are still favored to make the playoffs, but have fallen into being categorized as no better than the 6^th or 7th best team in the AFC until Matt Cassel proves differently.”

It’s also affected odds for Super Bowl favorites.  The Cowboys are now favorites at 4-1, while the Pats have fallen to 20-1, behind teams like the Packers and the Vikings (both 15-1).  Because Aaron Rodgers and Tarvaris Jackson are so much more proven than Matt Cassel, no doubt.