Carl Edwards: Master Of Football

Written by Brandon Stroud / 10.13.11

I think we all agree that America’s NASCAR drivers are the world’s top athletes. Taking that as a given, the only thing surprising about this video of Carl Edwards kicking a field goal at Sun Life Stadium earlier this week is that he managed to do it in a Dolphins jersey.

Edwards should start his own “Shaq Vs.” show where he goes around trying to beat people at the least athletic aspects of sports. “Driving” and “kicking” can be episodes one and two, and he can fill out the season with “riding in a golf cart”, “changing into bowling shoes” and “beating the Houston Astros”.

[via From The Marbles]

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GOLFING IS EASY

Written by Matt / 04.12.08

Blind golf might be more exciting than regular golf.

85-year-old Robert Dunham had a hole-in-one this week. Not impressed? Well, he's also legally blind:

Playing with a group of fellow blind veterans enrolled in a Veterans Affairs health care system program, Dunham's volunteer assistant lined him up with the ball, handed him a 9-iron and stepped back. Dunham swung through the ball, hit it squarely and it landed softly on the green, taking one hop before nestling into the bottom of the cup. Dunham's group erupted into a cacophony of cheers and high-fives. The World War II vet's first reaction? "I thought they were kidding me," Dunham said. "I told them, 'You guys better not be pulling my leg.'"

He went on to add, "Like when we had to pull the belly-gunner's leg out of the ball-turret over Germany. Man, there was blood everywhere." World War II vets have the best stories. -KD

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THE RUSSIAN JUDGE GAVE HER A ’10′

Written by Matt / 04.05.08

The only dive old people should attempt is the 'Triple Lindy'. -KD

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HOW TO PICK UP A 7-10-19 SPLIT

Written by Matt / 03.29.08

Dedicated weekend readers know I'm fascinated by the taxing athletic endeavor that is bowling. Both of you have learned the intricacies of trick shots from the eloquent B.J. Curtis and the exploits of the incomparable Backwards Bowler here and abroad. I only hope I've prepared you for this: 

Fly away, flying eagle indeed. -KD

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SMOKING AND DRINKING ARE GOOD FOR YOU

Written by Matt / 03.08.08

Abebe Bekele\'s secret finally revealed.

101-year-old British citizen Buster Martin plans on running in the London Marathon:

"I've said I'll attempt it, . . . I haven't said I'll complete it. If I do make it, all the better. I hadn't thought of doing it before but someone asked me and the money goes to charity so why not?" Martin, who had 17 children and returned to work at the age of 99 saying he was bored after two years of retirement, would beat the previous record for world's oldest marathon runner by eight years. "If I finish, I'll do what I always do and have a pint and a fag," he said. "People ask what is my secret but I haven't got one. They say fags and booze are bad for you — but I'm still here, aren't I?"

Just to clarify for those who have never crossed the pond, 'fags' are cigarettes. Also, when you are hitchhiking over there, it's very important to request a 'lift'. If you ask for a 'ride', the driver may incorrectly assume that you're a 'smoker' and you'll end having to ingest 'a dedicated cycle of antibiotics' a few weeks later. -KD   

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EXPERT KARATE TUTORIAL

Written by Matt / 01.27.08

Don't sweat it pal, everyone has an extraordinary miss now and then. It's just like the time I picked up that girl at the tavern, and I thought for sure she was a virgin. Well, two weeks later I'm in the emergency room with a tenacious social disease. And the doc said the ailment is only transmitted by males. Boy, was my face red . . . as well as other parts of my body. -KD

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