All I could think of while watching this clip was, “man, I wish Taiwan Animation did all of Marvel’s animated movies.” And hell, the special effects here are at least as good as the ones in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Anyway, the amazing thing about Next Media Animation’s recap of the NCAA Championship Game is that the weirdest moment doesn’t come during the game, it’s Taiwan’s interpretation of what an American office looks like. A lady dressed like Minnie Mouse causes a Georgetown fan to literally explode with rage because he lost the pool. It’s … weird.

But you knew that already. Here’s the clip:

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I hope the fans chanted "NEEP! NEEP! NEEP!" as he descended.

The Brooklyn Nets defeated the Toronto Raptors 107-100 on Saturday night to open the amazing new Barclays Center in style, after the original opener against the New York Knicks was scratched because of Hurricane Sandy. Unfortunately, the attention that should have been focused on Brook “Dwight Who?” Lopez, who led the healthier-than-last-year Nets with 27 points, was directed at the Nets’ new mascot (above) as he made his debut after popping out of a trunk in the back of Maynard’s shop.

But there’s apparently so much more to this new character, known now as the BrooklyKnight, which is so much fun to pronounce as Brookly Knight. The Nets have teamed up with Marvel to give the NBA its first official superhero, which means that the whole LeBron James comic book was indeed just a bad dream.

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Ever since I saw and loved Marvel’s The Avengers, I’ve been jumping all over every little rumor that pops up and analyzing the hell out of it for FilmDrunk, because I need something to do in between chest and shoulder sets. With the success of Avengers, it’s hardly a surprise that Marvel wants to start making films for basically any character that has ever existed, so that got me thinking: “Hey, what about the NFL SuperPro?”

In case you’re unfamiliar, the NFL SuperPro was a character created by Marvel in 1991, and he was just your average NFL player whose career was cut short because he saved a kid from a fire and shredded his knee in the process. He’s like the exact opposite of Maurice Clarett. But he met a crazy sports fan scientist along the way – aren’t all scientists huge sports fans? – and through a series of zany coincidences, he was doused with a formula that turned him into a super-powered mutant. Thankfully, he chose to use those powers – and a fancy NFL-inspired costume – for good.

I know what you’re thinking: “This sounds awesome! How has this not already been turned into a movie?” Unfortunately, the NFL SuperPro only lasted 12 issues and people pretend like it sucked. Well, it didn’t. It was incredible, and he deserves to be a part of the next Avengers film. Please join me, as I explain my reasons.

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Wolverine has a skeletal system made of Adamantium and his body can regenerate after almost any injury. Spider-Man has superhuman strength, with the ability to shoot webbing from his wrists and leap from building to building. The Human Torch can burst into flames and fly faster than any jet plane on Earth, and the Invisible Woman, well, she can turn invisible.

Tim Tebow’s super power is the ability to go 6-for-16 through 3 quarters and somehow pull a win out of his ass once he summons his magical pet kicker to boot a few 55-yarders. This isn’t a joke, Tebow is getting his own comic book.

“Like the Marvel heroes who pull off last minute victories, Tim Tebow has fans around the world on the edge of their seats and believing that in our own lives when time is running out and all looks lost, we can dig deep inside and use our various strengths to triumph over insurmountable odds” says Bill Rosemann of Marvel.

(Via the 96. 1 KISS Morning Freak Show, starring Jack Mehoff and the Dingleberry)

I’m not surprised. Like I pointed out in the Greatest Moments of 2011, people love arguing about Tebow, whether it’s his religious faith or his ass backwards sophomore success. Either of those arguments – and throw in every girl’s typical response of, “I’d take his virginity” – proves that he’s extremely marketable so this will obviously be a success.

After the jump (and above) I have a few of Marvel’s first sketches of “Tebow Time”, as well as a few sketches that I made that Marvel can feel free to use.

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OK, some outfit named ZUFFA, LLC has claimed copyright infringement on on all YouTube videos of this fight, so poor bastards like me have to imaginatively reconstruct it from ringside accounts.  Here we go:  Quinton "Rampage" Jackson was booed upon entering the ring for doing a lame Junkyard Dog impression, while Chuck "Iceman" Liddell was cheered wildly by the crowd (most UFC fans are also devotees of Eugene O'Neill and love any brawler who references one of his titles).  As the rules were enunciated by the referee, Jackson asked Liddell, "Is there any way we can resolve this without coming to blows?" Liddell responded, "Your comments after our last match cut me to the quick sir, I think not!"  They exchanged a few punches before Jackson decapitated Liddell with a thunderous right hand.  As the Iceman's limp body fell to the canvas, Rampage kicked Chuck's skull around the octagon and then played hacky sack with it.  The ref stopped the fight after Jackson successfully completed an 'outside stall'. 

"I was doing my thing," said the charismatic Jackson. "The right hand landed right on the jaw, right where I planned for it to go, and it was des-ti-ny."

Rampage is so charismatic that he can make people hear hyphens!  Just like a supervillain.  In fact, I believe Rampage is a Marvel villain.  And Iceman is a Marvel superhero.  Was Stan Lee behind this match?  Remember when Iceman roomed with Spiderman and Firestar on Saturday morning cartoons?  Mmm, Firestar.  You don't need your superpower to make me hot honey.  Just don't change your hair. -KD

UPDATE: Thanks to a tip from commenter Flushing Meadows, you can watch the match here.  I still think my description of the action is more enthralling.