100% Injury Rate describes this video as such:

A martial arts master flips a girl over using his feet and tries to get her to fall to the canvas spread eagle style – if that happens, an eagle flies up the screen. That's literally about it. The crowd is just insane though. You'd think they were watching some sporting event that determined the fate of the free world.

I think that blows things out of proportion just a little bit.  I mean, I don't think the guy is a martial arts "master."  That'd be like calling me kung fu warrior for exposing myself on the subway.  Although "kung fu warrior" does have a nicer ring to it than "two-time sex offender."  That's right, baby: I've only been caught twice.

"YESSSSS!!!  I kicked him in the face!  Hey everybody!  Look at me!  I kicked him!  In the FACE!  And then he fell down!  Hey!  Hey!  Over here!  I'm on the fence over here!  Hey!  I kicked a guy in the face!"

Okay, we fucking see you.  Way to ruin an awesome face-kicking.

[SimonOnSports] 

Finally, a video metaphor for how I handled the response to the hubbub over a certain high school pole vaulter.  I gotta say, all that training really paid off.

(Thanks infinity to Digital Headbutt)

The FanHaus picked up on this brilliant piece (sarcasm!) of tut-tutting by ABC News, which clearly needs to fire a reporter:

There is a frightening new trend in locker rooms, backyards and basements across the country: unsupervised children and teenagers pummeling one another, wearing only athletic helmets and gloves for protection. It's a risky new twist on "Fight Club," where anything goes… No-holds-barred fighting has long been popular on television, in shows like "American Gladiators" and "The Ultimate Fighting Championship."

Great point, except UFC isn't a TV show and the "no-holds-barred fighting" on "American Gladiators" was people hitting each other with giant Q-Tips and getting shot by tennis ball cannons.  In fact, here's part of America's legacy of televised violence:

Yup, there goes the country.  It's really terrible when kids stop playing video games to go outside and learn to take a punch.  Heaven forbid any of our youth grow up to not be total pussies.

When trusty reader Cory sent me this trailer, I refused to believe it was for a real movie.  Every line in the voiceover is too hilariously over-the-top to not be tongue-in-cheek.  But no.  Friends and sexy readers, I assure you, Gymkata is very, very real.

UPDATE: I guess some of you ultra-cool people have heard of every movie ever made.  Well, some of us grew up on Air Force bases, where the base theater only played one movie, and it was whatever big film came out six weeks ago.  Sorry if my dad dedicating two decades of his life to serving his country has ruined your blog experience today.  Asses.

With Leather reader Matthew — hey, that's like my name! Except fancier — sent in this video of a terrifying child who was in a martial arts competition back when ESPN 2 was "espn2" (because it was edgy, you see.)  And if you're one of those people who like children, think again.  Because these things are godless killing machines.

Thankfully, this child (now 16) is not stockpiling weapons in a bunker. Quite the opposite: he's an actor now.  With fruity-lookin' curls and everything.  He was even on "The O.C.," although you wouldn't recognize him because he was only on during the fourth season that no one watched.  Not that I ever watched, of course.  And I definitely don't own the first two seasons on DVD, even if it would, in theory, be a good way to get stills of Rachel Bilson when she was still curvy.