As most of the NFL’s analysts are busy prettying up their draft boards and fellating recently-retired quarterbacks, the league’s athletes are working to stay in midseason form. Bills running back Marshawn Lynch and Steelers kicker Jeff Reed had run-ins with law enforcement over the weekend.

“Reed caused damage to a towel dispenser as he was infuriated at the fact that there were no towels in it,” according to a news release by Trooper Shawn Askins, who issued the citations. The incident occurred Saturday about 2:50 a.m.

A message left on an answering machine at Reed’s home was not immediately returned.

Reed was cited for disorderly conduct and criminal mischief and sent on his way. I wonder if Reed got home and beat the hell out of his answering machine when there weren’t any messages on it. As for Lynch:

Police said Lynch was arrested Wednesday night after officers approached him and two other men sitting in a 2006 Mercedes-Benz in this Los Angeles suburb and found a loaded firearm.

Lynch was arrested after officers determined the gun belonged to him. He was released that night on $35,000 bail.

Guns and California go together like peanut butter and giraffes, but how do police just “find” a gun? Police have their own guns, and this persecution of millionaire athletes cannot stand. What am I gonna do about it? I’ll get to that a second. Right now I have to investigate something shiny in the hallway.

[Y! Sports]

Bills running back Marshawn Lynch isn’t just a fantasy stud and a 21st century e.e. cummings.   He devotes his entire life to being awesome, as evidenced by his Sporting News Today profile (via TSB, naturally).  Let’s learn a little more about Marshawn together…

What’s on my iPod: Messy Marv, The Jacka, Lil Webbie, Lil’ Boosie, Clyde Clarkson, Hustler, J Stylin, Keak The Sneak and da Farmboyz, Killa Tank, Lee Majors, Mistah F.A.B., 2Pac, Sleepy D.

Sooo… who else feels really white?  I get the feeling we have slightly different playlists.  Nothing, however, can top the selections of the profile that come next.

Read the rest of this entry »

Marshawn Lynch rarely updates his Yardbarker blog, so it’s tough to remember to check up on it, especially if you’re as lazy and uninspired as I am. But he did update his site last week before the Bills were handed their first loss of the season. And, as with any post from Beast Mode, it was solid. And it don’t get no better than solid.

whats good yb i no u aint heard from ya boi n a min but im still alive just been chillin tryin get rite for da season….if u dont no we 4-0 rite now and tryin to get 5-0…i need all da buffalo fans to keep it lit for us while we doin our thang and the non buffalo fans to jump on da ban wagon and ride dat thang FASTER…to all da beast mode (Marshawn Lynch) fans to keep dat thang lit too and check ma web page out at www.marshawn23.com….until next time hold ya chin up…..nuh nuh nuh gone

I’m going to be honest. I wish I could write ebonics this fluently. Look at the lack of apostrophes. It’s like a McCarthy novel. Nuh nuh nuh gone, indeed.

[YardBarker]

The Porsche SUV registered to Marshawn Lynch was involved in a hit-and-run accident in Buffalo last weekend, and now it looks like the second-year running back and fan favorite was likely the one behind the wheel.  Two different sources claim that as many as four witnesses saw Lynch hit a woman who was crossing the street.

According to the police report, the SUV… hit a female pedestrian who was attempting to cross the street. Police confirm there was front end damage to the car, and the report says a broken off piece of the car was recovered at the scene and turned in as evidence…

Several staff members of a nearby bar tell us they saw a woman lying in the street for approximately 15 minutes, but they say the woman eventually got up under her own power and walked to an awaiting ambulance.

"Oh!  Did you see that?!?  That chick just got hit by a car!  Do you think she's okay?"  "Well, she's lying in the street.  Let's wait a while to see if she gets up."  "Should we go over and give first aid?"  "Meh."

This is the "Mayne Event" from a few days ago, but it just recently found its way onto YouTube.  I feature it now partly out of thanks to all the good work done by WL's Photoshop guru (and resident Bills fan) 289, but mostly because former Bills RB Willis McGahee is a jackass, while current Bills RB Marshawn Lynch is a fuckin' cool dude.  Any black pro athlete in Buffalo who can embrace Applebee's — or even pretend to for his fan base — is a player I can cheer for.  Bonus for Lynch: no children out of wedlock.

"The ambience… or the decor?"