If real life carried hashtags, there would be a big #whitepeopleproblems at the end of every story about David Ortiz flipping his bat after a home run and pissing off the Yankees. The way people have been reacting you’d think he flipped his bat, punched Mark Teixeira in the dick on the way around, blew a kiss to A.J. Burnett on his way past third and toppled a makeshift set of Red Sox-played bowling pins as he pantomimed an exploding bomb at home plate. Nope, he basically just did what he always did, and even the smallest charismatic outbursts must be smothered to death by Major League Baseball.

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Today’s Dugout follows.

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This is a little collage of Los Angeles Angels catcher Bobby Wilson getting his business ruined by Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira. There are a lot of things I don’t like about Teixeira. He’s like the Phil Mickelson of baseball, except that his last name’s a lot harder to spell. But some people are calling this play, where Marky Mark foregoes the slide to pop Wilson in the face with a shoulder, uncouth.

I’m not sure I agree, and I’m not sure we’d be having this conversation if Teixeira wasn’t a Yankee. First of all, Wilson makes a move to block the plate (without the ball, mind you.) Teixeira knows it’s going to be a close play, if he isn’t already out. Wilson can’t handle the throw and subsequently gets leveled (and placed on the DL) for his trouble. This would only be some sort of violation if the catcher was Dwyane Wade. Enjoy the video pwnage after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Today's spotlight is on two hitters who are heating up just as their teams make runs for the playoffs: Atlanta's Mark Teixeria and Raul Ibanez of the Mariners.  Teixeira homered twice last night — the second time in as many games — to lift the Braves to a 14-4 victory over the Reds and give Tim Hudson his NL-leading 15th victory.  Tex now has 9 home runs and 25 RBI in 18 games since the July 31st trade that brought him to Atlanta from Texas.  So… kind of a good trade.

Ibanez also went yard twice last night as the Mariners opened a tough stretch of road games with a 9-4 win over the Twins.  After hitting just six home runs in his first 97 games, Ibanez now has 9 in the last 13 contests.  His 3-for-5 night raised his August batting average to .431, which (in a strange coincidence) was my blood alcohol level Saturday night.

Other MLB scores: A-Rod's league-leading 40th homer not enough as Yanks lose to Angels in 10th… Meanwhile, Prince Fielder's blasted his 39th to lead the Brewers' shutout of Arizona, moving Milwaukee back into the NL Central lead… Bobby Jenks gave up a single to end his string of 41 consecutive batters retired, but the White Sox actually won a game, so it kind of evens out.

So, Major League Baseball's trade deadline is today, and the biggest trade looks to be… uhhh…. hmn.  Kevin Garnett to the Celtics?

If you're down with all the trade talk, you can peep ESPN.com's report card here or a savvy, entertaining blog version here.  Basically, the Braves got Mark Teixeira (pictured, left) for a playoff push but in doing so allowed the Rangers to get the better end of the trade, including hot catching prospect Jarrod Saltalamacchia, which sounds either delicious or very, very contagious.  The Rangers continued building for the future by shipping off Kenny Lofton's ancient legs back to Cleveland for another young catching prospect, Max Ramirez.  And it looks like the Phillies made a couple of small, smart moves to improve the team for the stretch run and the future.

There were some other trades, but it's still kinda early and I might fall asleep if I keep talking about baseball.  Don't get me wrong, I love baseball.  America's pastime, yadda yadda.  But trade talk in the morning before I've had coffee?  Or mescaline?  I'd almost rather watch the WNBA.  Almost.