The 2012 NFL season began with the New York Jets as the center of attention because of backup quarterback Tim Tebow, and it has ended with the Jets still as the center of attention because of starting QB Mark Sanchez. At 6-8, it’s fair to say that the Jets haven’t had the season that they typically expect, as we’ve come to love those arrogant moments in the offseason when coach Rex Ryan or Sanchez declare that the Jets will win the Super Bowl. But this year there were no cocky declarations, just a trade that brought Tebow to the Big Apple.

Obviously, we’re all wondering why the hell the Jets even traded for Tebow because they’ve barely used him and Ryan has gone out of his way to avoid answering questions about his use in Tony Sparano’s offense. Meanwhile, Sanchez has developed into a parody of a parody on the field, an evolution that culminated with the now-infamous Butt Fumble. And the Jets floated the idea that they’d be willing to trade Sanchez after the season, and the rest of the league just laughed and laughed.

So it’s only fitting that one genius made a blooper reel of the Jets’ season set to “Yakety Sax”. It’s pretty much perfect.

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So it turns out that Wild Turkey football-picking turkey Jimmy Junior is full of shit. On Wednesday, we shared the video of him picking the NFL’s Thanksgiving day games … he picked Detroit over Houston (Houston won 34-31 in overtime) and Dallas over Washington (Washington controlled the entire game and won 38-31). His only correct pick was New England over New York, and I don’t want to throw shade at a prognosticating animal, but Paul The Psychic Octopus could’ve called that one, and he’s dead.

I think I speak for everyone when I say the highlight of the Patriots/Jets game was Mark Sanchez running into his own lineman’s ass for no reason, fumbling the ball and giving up a touchdown. It was one of the most inexplicably pathetic things I’ve ever seen on a football field, including the time in 10th grade when I went out for a pass, got wide open, got too confident and tripped over my own feet about 20 yards ahead of the ball. At least I didn’t leave my faceprint in somebody’s buttcrack.

There isn’t a lot to be said that wasn’t covered in the KSK live thread for the game, so instead, here are my ten favorite YouTube comments from Ass Fumble-Gate.

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Boomer And Carton In The Morning host and ex-New York Jets quarterback Boomer Esiason can reference his five years as a radio host, 14 years as a pro football player or 15 years as a television analyist when telling you what he thinks about current Jets back-up handsome Christian Tim Tebow, but why bother? He can cut to the chase and drop the only two Tebow talking points that matter, according to the Internet:

1. Tim Tebow is terrible at being a quarterback, and
2. Oh my God, watch Tim Tebow throw, it is hilarious

“I’m just telling you right now, I would (cut him), and I’ll tell you why I would,” Esiason said. “It’s not in any way, shape or form — I think — benefiting this team.”

“All you have to do is watch him throw the ball,” said Esiason. “Just watch him.”

“You can say whatever you want about Tim Tebow,” said Esiason. “He played some of the worst football that any quarterback has ever played in the history of the game last year at times.” (via Bob’s Blitz)

Here’s the audio, also courtesy of Bob:

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Or, “AAAAH PAT KELLY”.

What you’re looking at is New York Jets center Nick Mangold appearing on a special celebrity edition of ‘Wax On, Wax Off’, wherein he lets persons from ‘Late Night with Jimmy Fallon’ rip the hair from his enormous baby-body as punishment for someone else’s incorrect trivia answers. Unfortunately for Nick, he’s got one of the guys from Coheed and Cambria (not really) answering questions about Lithuanian Prime Ministers so his poor chest ends up looking like a Man-o-Lantern.

Video is below, but it may not be suitable for the faint of heart or fuzzy of boob.

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If you thought that we’d even go one day without someone creating the story that Tim Tebow wants to immediately become the New York Jets starting quarterback, then you just don’t know the New York sports media, Jack. The New York Daily News posted an article early this morning claiming that sources said that Tebow plans to be the Jets’ starter. Thank you, New York sports media, your fabricated scandals never cease to humor us.

But this could end up being a stressful venture for Tebow, as he has stated that he considers Mark Sanchez a friend, and accusations that he’s staging some sort of coup could disturb the chemistry that Tebow would be seeking to build immediately. Thankfully, New York’s finest are here to help, as the girls at Rick’s Cabaret have offered to give Tebow his presumably first lap dance ever, free of charge.

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Back in December, we brought you the horrifying news that 2011 With Leather Celebrity Sports Fan of the Year and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model Kate Upton was rumored to be dating New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. And it all made sense – Upton’s sister works for the Jets so she gets Kate free tickets to games and Sanchez can’t get enough of teenage girls.

Of course, other rumors have come and gone – Sanchez and Kim Kardashian, Upton and Tim Tebow, Sanchez and Kirstie Alley, Upton and me. For the sake of disclosure, I may have made two of those up right now. However, this 4-month old rumor was seemingly laid to rest, but that didn’t stop Ellen DeGeneres from digging up the corpse on her show yesterday.

Meanwhile, Upton is staying coy over a reported romance with American football player Mark Sanchez.

When questioned about the New York Jets player on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, she conceded he was ‘cute’.

She said: ‘Yeah, he is cute. I’ve met him. My sister works for the Jets. And she’s been working there for four years. So, I went to all the games.

‘I met him briefly.’ (Via the Daily Mail)

Obviously we can all smell the bullsh*t a mile away, as if it’s a delightful lilac and cinnamon fragrance, or what I imagine Upton’s hair smells like when she’s asleep. But I appreciate With Leather’s First Lady for carrying on this discretion for the sake of us dorks.

Oh by the way, did you know that Upton is the new face of Skullcandy earphones? It’s true, and she helped advertise them in the best way possible – by wearing very little.

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