In an obvious attempt to get me to rant about my fantasy team, Drew Brees sucked up the Superdome on Monday Night Football, committing five turnovers in a 31-14 loss to the Titans.  Reggie Bush, a piece of crap that I benched out of spite, scored two one-yard touchdowns but was otherwise ineffective.

On the other side of the ball, Vince Young did his usual thing of not having great stats but generally looking untouchable and getting the win.  And when you take a step back from the 2-1 Titans, the AFC South (combined record of 9-3) is suddenly the toughest division in the NFL.

But seriously: fuck Drew Brees in the birthmark.  If he doesn't start producing, I'll… I'll… ah shit.  I'll be another guy bitching about his fantasy team.  YOU did this, Drew Brees.  C'mon, asshole, start throwing touchdowns to Bush.  Or anyone, really.  Do it for the city of New Orleans.  Don't you care about black people?

Remember when Drew Brees was racking up all those points for your fantasy team last year?  And remember how you thought, "Man, Sean Payton's offense is unstoppable, Brees is going to be even better this year!"  Well, you were wrong.  New Orleans lost to Tampa Bay today 31-14 to fall to 0-2 on the year.  Perhaps the Saints poor play is part of a grand conspiracy by Roger Goodell to move the franchise to Los Angeles, or maybe they just suck.  Either way, the best part of this game, as is always the case whenever the Bucs play at home, were the lovely Tampa Bay cheerleaders sweltering in 100° heat.  I think these ladies are one of the top squads in the NFL, and they could be #1 if only they added a few redheads.

In other thrilling NBA NFL action, Braylon Edwards and and Chad Johnson both had triple-doubles as the Browns beat the Bengals 51-45.  This game was an important reminder that the Browns have the most annoying fans in the league when their team wins. -KD 

Mina Brees, the mother of Saints quarterback Drew, is running for a spot on Texas's 3rd Court of Appeals. And she's using pictures of her son in her ads. Or was, anyway.

Brees has asked his mother to stop using his picture in TV commercials touting her candidacy for a Texas appeals court… [He] said he got no response from his mother when he first heard about the ads and called her to ask that she stop using them. His agent sent her a letter Oct. 20 threatening legal action, he said. He called his relationship with his mother "nonexistent" after it crumbled six years ago when he refused to hire her as his agent.

Wow, talk about issues. This makes me glad that I've got a such a close relationship with my mother. Of course, I was breast-fed until I was eight.

One of my girlfriends called me a "momma's boy," but she was obviously just jealous. Thats why I buried her in a cornfield in central Illinois one night.