was all pissed about having to fly to Rome to do a mandatory ad shoot for the WTA?  Well, she eventually worked something out and joined fellow stars Ana Ivanovic, Serena Williams, Jelena Jankovic, and, uhhh… some other women in the filming of a commercial that will air this summer during Wimbledon and the U.S. Open (text and video here).

WTA's ad opens with shots of the tennis stars dressed in casual attire in everyday situations. They then each receive phone calls, on sponsor Sony Ericsson's phones, and dash off superhero-like to re-emerge dressed for competition in their tennis outfits.

Yeah, it's supposed to be all superhero-y, but the voiceover definitely gives it a Charlie's Angels vibe.  And I mean that in a good way.  It's a cool 1970s Angels vibe, not a "McG-directed piece of shit after Demi Moore had $500K of plastic surgery" Angels vibe.

(via SbB)

NHL - Petr Sykora guaranteed he was going to score. It just would have been nice if it took him less than four and a half hours to do it. His goal midway through the third overtime extends the Stanley Cup Finals to Game 6 in the 'Burgh. I mean didn't they already play in effect an extra game last night. Can't this go straight to Game 7? And nothing helps an interminable game like the NBC announcers saying repeatedly through each overtime that "the next goal wins the game." Hey, thanks for that trenchant analysis, crotchpheasant. Maxime Talbot staved off elimination for the Pens with a tying goal with 34 seconds left and the Pittsburgh defense performed admirably with Sergei Gonchar sidelined through the first two overtimes. 

MLB – Chase Utley (And what a grand pursuit he must be) homers for the fifth straight game in the 5-4 Phillies win over the Reds, putting him at a league-leading total of 21 and one under his mark through all of last year. Oh yeah, he also made two stout defensive snags, but, hey, those aren't socking dingers, brah. Oh yeah, that bum Jay Bruce also homered, but lowered his average 14 points to .577. What a fraud…Manny Ramirez wishes he could play all his games in Camden Yards, probably because they have more Red Sox fans than anywhere else other than Boston or maybe the China. Also, he's homered there in three straight games, tallying career no. 502 last night in a 6-3 loss to the Orioles…Carlos Zambrano collects three hits to raise his average to .366. Oh yeah, he picks up his 8th win in a 7-6 Cubs win over the Padres. WE ONLY CELEBRATE OFFENSE!…Prince Fielder homers to lift the Brewers over the Diamondbacks and steals third to strike a blow for fatty rights.

French Open – Maria Sharapova makes an early exit. I bet it was still sexy though. 

Maria Sharapova likes to throw footballs to warm up before her practice sessions; which kinda makes sense when you think about the similarities in throwing a pigskin and serving a tennis ball. Busted Coverage finally has video of the complete delivery, which could use a little work.

After her practice, she and I played foosball and then she jerked me off. Best 15 seconds of my life.

Eager to capitalize on attractive blondes with long legs, the Women's Tennis Association awesomely wants to get Maria Sharapova to participate in an upcoming WTA photo shoot during a tournament in Rome, but little miss fancypants only cares about playing tennis.

They want me to do this shoot on Sunday, Monday or Tuesday of the Rome tournament after flying 12 hours from LA. I have set my own personal rules when is comes to doing shoots and I never do shoots before tournaments because they are mentally draining and I want to just focus on my tennis. Now the WTA is telling me if I don't do this shoot they will fine me over $300,000. [Note: the fine gets increased to $700K because she doesn't wear a WTA patch on her tennis dresses.]

Ugh, I hate it when these diva athletes only care about competing.  Maria thinks she can travel around the world and focus on her game and try to win tournaments.  What a selfish bitch.  What about us, the fans?  We just want more pictures of her.  Please, Maria.  Pose for more flattering photos.  Do it for your fans.

[FanHaus] 

for a photo, thus providing the creative spark sports dorks have needed to write lesbian fan fiction about Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova.

On a side note, I'm really tired of sportswriters and talking heads who slam Kournikova for retiring without ever winning a tournament.   That's pretty unfair, right?  There are hundreds and hundreds of athletes in all sports who have never achieved the pinnacle of achievement; that's no need to bring them down.  Why is it Anna's fault she's good-looking but not the best tennis player in the world?  It's just sad.  I hope that someday in the future we can learn to appreciate women for their looks and not always judge them on their accomplishments.

covering up our lovely Maria, but a club in Australia has banned on-court grunting as well, resulting in the ban of a nine-year-old girl.  From Tasmania via Lion in Oil:

Lauryn Edwards was told at the weekend that she could no longer play her favourite sport after a complaint by an opposition player…

Lauryn, who has attention deficit disorder, has been playing tennis since the age of four, after it was recommended by her school psychologist at Sunbury Primary to burn energy and keep her focused. Dubbed Lauryn Sharapova by an old coach, she said she played better when grunting. "It feels natural to do my noise. I'm not faking it," Lauryn said.

You know, I tried to avoid this story.  I really did.  You can't just give me a story about a female tennis player and grunting and expect me to behave responsibly, regardless of her age.  And yet here I am, getting red-flagged by the "To Catch a Predator" staff while Chris Hansen puts the finishing touches on my dossier.