It looks like tennis star Maria Sharapova [you know, as opposed to Wichita Federal Credit Union middle manager Maria Sharapova] finally has settled on a man. Cue the obligatory “That’s too bad, really, because I totally had a shot with her.”
Now comes word that [Lakers] struggling backup guard Sasha Vujacic and tennis star Maria Sharapova might be dating after the two were seen cuddling at a recent U2 concert.
And now the LA Times begins a cititation spree that may or may not force to lose control of bowels and leave you huddled in the corner crying for Mama.
In a recent posting, the website SportsByBrooks reported that CNBC reporter Darren Rovell revealed on Twitter the possibility of this power union earlier today. That was followed a few hours later by Matt Cronin of tennisreporters.net tweeting that it was indeed true.
But Tommy said that Heather said that Brandon said that they were just friends! Oh, who to believe; I’m sure he’s pounding that sweet, tender Vujacic all the same. It’s a good time to be a basketball player that nobody outside of LA has ever heard of. It’s also a good time to be a porpoise. I just think they’re nifty animals.
As The All England Club prepares to host Wimbledon in July, rumors are swirling over a potential crackdown on the grunting from some of the female players, who had been the subject of complaints during last month’s French Open. From the Daily Mail (via GameOn):
[N]ew proposals to make noise hindrance part of the International Tennis Federation’s code of conduct [mean that] grunters could potentially forfeit a whole game or match.
One of the loudest offenders is Maria Sharapova, who at 101 decibels is almost as loud as a lion’s 110 decibel roar.
In last month’s French open, Aravane Rezai complained to the umpire about the noise emitting from 16-year-old player Michelle Larcher de Brito.
As the rules stand now, an umpire can award a point to a player if distracted by a grunt. Which is poppycock. I, personally, like to hear the person on the other end grunting, and as loud as possible. Only a woman would get annoyed over that sort of thing. It doesn’t help that Wimbledon is traditionally the stuffiest of the four tennis majors. Next year, these women might be forced to play in ankle skirts and heels. The heels, I could get behind…
Maria Sharapova is on the cover of the January/February issue of Women’s Health, and I have to say, the accompanying photo spread is a little disappointing. She’s not wearing two pounds of eye makeup or showing lots of skin or even posing suggestively. It’s like Women’s Health isn’t even trying to attract the chauvinistic male audience. Well, Miss Fancypants Magazine, you can just go ahead and keep reinforcing positive body images using strong role models for young women and see where THAT gets you.
Full spread after the jump. Also included: the catsuit Maria wore to the 2005 Espy Awards. Why? Because I can.
Here’s Maria Sharapova in this month’s or next month’s or some month’s Spanish GQ, and I don’t speak Spanish, but my boner seems to understand the point of the feature. Holy moley it’s amazing the way some makeup and a stylist and sexy heels and a good photographer make her a hundred times hotter than she already is. Actually, I guess it’s not all that amazing. Makeup and stylists and sexy heels and a good photographer make any chick way hotter. So I guess the lesson for the ladies here is never leave the house without makeup and a stylist and sexy heels and a good photographer. And if you feel the need to get a boob job just for good measure, hey, knock yourself out. Better safe than not sexy.
[Fan IQ; video after the jump]
Maria Sharapova has been at New York’s Fashion Week, and she ended up sitting next to Olympic champion Nastia Liukin at the Peter Som show, whatever that is. Also pictured in the front row: actresses Kate Mara and Elizabeth Banks. Newsday (via SbB) says:
[Sharapova nd Liukin] mugged for the paparazzi before the show, chatting until the lights went down, and then Nastia watched the models strut by — giving most and up-and-down and keeping a placid smile on her face … a far more sedate reaction than that of actress Elizabeth Banks, who sat on the gymnast’s other side visibly oohing and ahhing.
Also pictured in the photo collection below: Sharapova at the Herve Leger show and Alicia Sacramone at the BCBG show. And Sacramone brought her silver medal. Yeah, way to parade that around, Alicia. Coulda been a gold if you could land on your feet, you know. Oh, what am I saying? I’m sorry. I could never stay mad at you.
It wasn't enough for Alla Kudryavtseva, the 154th ranked player in the world, to deal a massive upset to the pneumatic and pneumatic-drill-sounding Maria Sharapova at Wimbledon. No, the 20-year-old Russian felt the need to dis the designer duds of her fellow countrywoman.
But there was worse to come, for Kudryavtseva, who is not one of the glamour girls of tennis, said that Sharapova’s status as a fashion icon had got under her skin. “It’s very pleasant to beat Maria,” she said. “I don’t like her outfit. Can I put it this way? It was one of my motivations to beat her.”
[Sucks on teeth] Nuh-uh. I know you did not. That's some triflin' shit, gurl.
And "not one of the glamour girls of tennis" is a fine euphemism for sunken-faced prickletwat. But I can't say that kind of looks-based animosity is exclusive to women. That's why Ufford's so hard on my editing skills. He's just jealous of this small face on my big head. Don't worry, Matt, you'll be the glamour girl of blogging someday.
