UFC ring girl and professional soccer ball sitter-nearer Arianny Celeste announced via Twitter on Wednesday that the music video for her song ‘Top Of The World’ had arrived, and if you’re worried that Paris Hilton-ish club banger from a lady who walks around in her underwear for a living might be a rushed, Rebecca Black affair, don’t be — this baby has all the lens flares, costume changes and ill-defined sci-fi plots of a summer blockbuster.
Here’s the story of the ‘Top Of The World’ video, as I understand it. A pair of U.S. astronauts (?) orbiting the Earth need a human male for some reason, so they use their People Making Machine to make a female Terminator (Celeste, doing full-on Terminator style time travel kneels) and send her down to the planet’s surface to make out with a guy in a swimming pool, go dancing and get married. Once that’s done, they can beam him up to their ship, where they strap him to a table and leave him alone. So many questions. If they had a People Making Machine, why didn’t they just make a guy instead of an octagon girl? Why did they need to get married? Does that contractually obligate him to space travel and dissection? If all they needed to do was hug, couldn’t they have beamed him up when they were macking in the pool? OH NO, MY PRECIOUS BRAIN!
Anyway, check out the video for yourself and see if you can figure it out. Or, you know, stare at all the cleavage and butt shots. Your decision.