The worst thing about all this failed PED test business is that ESPN becomes even less watchable than usual. “SportsCenter” and “First Take” are in the veritable sports news kitchen, baking up their usual recipes of speculation and conjecture, which is kinda redundant for us since I wrote about this yesterday, you read about it yesterday, and it just feels like the monolith is a day behind on this.

And the big angle that ESPN is taking deals with Ortiz’s denial and subsequent tough talk with regard to his thoughts on punishing players that test positive for PEDs. But what else would he do? If he’s on them, he’ll talk the talk and act like he’s not, like his one of the guys whose legacy was besmirched by this whole thing. If he’s not (and since nobody knows for what the players were being tested in 2003), he would have spoken out in much the same way.

By the way, today is baseball’s trade deadline, though it doesn’t seem that Blue Jays pitcher will be leaving Toronto (the Jays are asking for too much). Hey, I know! Let’s talk about steroids some more! Or beat in the side of my skull with an aluminum bat. I can’t tell the difference. Don’t forget to turn that right hand over.

People are clamoring for the list of the 104 Major League players that tested positive for steroids in 2003 to be made public, but it will never happen. Because the “lawyers with knowledge of the results” are surely getting his rocks off by leaking these names in such a piecemeal manner, as they’ve now done by leaking David Ortiz’s and former Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez’s test results from 2003.

Never mind the fact that the list was simply an audit to determine whether or not MLB would implement any legitimate testing, and not an actual test itself. Never mind that the list was sealed before being seized by federal regulators. Never mind that there are still 97 players on that 2003 list that are still anonymous, giving armchair pundits plenty of pasture to speculate about “who was dirty.”

We don’t know who was on what, or when, which makes these “revelations” completely worthless. Is Big Papi’s legacy in question now? It depends; do you assume that every pitcher he faced in 2003 was clean? Do you assume that only a select few of Ortiz’s rival hitters were illegally medicated? It doesn’t seem to matter now, because “lawyers with knowledge of the results” decided to point the invisible finger at Ortiz, and outlets like the New York Times and ESPN are going to suck that finger until milk comes out of it.

This whole thing is just out of hand. You can’t stick the syringe back in baseball’s ass and suck all the PEDs out of the game, and yet that’s what everyone covering the game is trying to do, and will continue to do, even as these guys become eligible for the hall. How can you point a finger and ostracize one guy when, as far as anyone knows, everyone sharing the field with him could be doing the exact same thing?

I read somewhere that basically said, “If Manny is this good, why would he ever do steroids?” Is it too much to assume that either (a) the benefits he enjoyed from using PEDs are still lingering in his body to some degree, even after his 50-game ban, or (b) that he used his time off to find a way to inject himself without getting caught? Either way, this is a mighty pinch-hit grand slam from Manny in LA last night. It doesn’t look like anyone’s too concerned with getting Ramirez to pee in a cup after that blast. Watching that sort of thing is always kind of a buzzkill, or that’s what my mother-in-law always says. Hey, how was I supposed to know that bathroom door wouldn’t lock?

As Manny Ramirez finishes his 50-game suspension, the Dodgers are being warned to keep Ramirez out of the Dodgers clubhouse, so sayeth the LA Times. Ramirez spoke to media in the clubhouse on Tuesday, which is a violation of the 50-game ban he received for a positive drug test last month. But for those of you waiting for an explanation from Ramirez…don’t hold your breath:

“I didn’t kill nobody, I didn’t rape nobody, so that’s it,” Ramirez said. “I’m just going to come and play the game.”

He is eligible to rejoin the Dodgers July 3, and he can prepare for his return by playing up to 10 games in the minor leagues. He would have full use of the minor league clubhouse for those games.

Presumably, there isn’t much killing and raping going on in the minors. Not that it would be funny if there was. Unless it was one of Manny’s teammates, and then Manny came out of the closet immediately afterward. That would make at least one person happy.

LA Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez will be finished with his 50-game suspension by the time MLB’s All-Star Game rolls into St. Louis in mid-July. Fans have taken notice, and the campaign to get Ramirez enough votes to start in the Midsummer Classic is already underway. But the Vote For Manny blog is not what it first seems to be; it’s actually a protest against the All-Star Game itself:

I do not want to see Manny in the All Star Game. Are we clear on this? I started the “Vote For Manny” site to illustrate the joke that the voting, the “this time it counts”/World Series home field advantage rule, the mandatory representation, the still-soft PED rules…has become. I want to see the best players selected, not the most popular. Ibanez is worthy and will have a spot on the team no matter what; his manager is managing the NL team.

Manny’s vote total currently places him fourth in the NL outfield voting, so I guess this thing could still happen (sadly, Lastings Milledge’s campaign seems to be preparing its concession speech). Personally, I don’t know anyone that wants to see a game featuring players they’ve never heard of, especially when that game is just a glorified exhibition game. If they want to dump a big pile of cash on the field for both teams to play for and have a real game, then fine, get the best first-half players (OMG Zach Grienke!). Otherwise, what’s the big deal?

|via Walkoff Walk|

On the heels of a report that Red Sox players were taught how to use steroids under the Duquette regime, beloved Sox DH David Ortiz (not pictured) is denying that any of Manny Ramirez’s alleged steroid use would have been connected with the team. From Y! Sports, via Rumors and Rants:

“This situation has shocked me. That’s not the guy that I know,” the Boston Red Sox designated hitter said before Tuesday night’s game against the Los Angeles Angels. “The only thing I know about him is that he’s a guy who works hard every day and gets prepared to play the game.”[...]

“I’m serious. Manny is on his own, always. When we were here playing together, it would have been, `OK, let’s meet around noon so we can have lunch and then go to the field.’ He’d say OK, and the next thing you know, you’d be calling his phone in the room and you wouldn’t reach him—and you just talked to him an hour ago. But that’s him.”

It’s also odd that Manny’s first spring training away from Boston is the first time he happens to flunk a steroid test. Also odd, when a woman’s clearly upset about something and you ask what it is and she says, “Nothing.” It’s not nothing. I know nothing. It’s what I do everyday. At least that’s what I tell my parole officer.

|img from AfroJacks|