Brandon and I were trading emails yesterday, discussing our respective regional weather calamities (me = underwater, him = on fire), when he asked if I could help him out with a feature or a couple posts today. I responded, “I’ll try to do a feature if I see something worthwhile. I promise. If not I’ll probably end up doing something stupid like a series of five posts about my favorite Phillies players and what I think they smell like. (CHASE UTLEY SMELLS LIKE GRITS BEHCUZ HE’S GRITTY!)” I then went to bed laughing to myself about what a funny joke I just told, and tried to think about something that I could turn into a feature.

However, because Brandon is a delightful maniac, not only did he thank me for offering to help, he strongly encouraged me to follow through with my joke idea. So here we are. Instead of just doing Phillies, however, I’ve branched out to cover the whole major leagues. This is easily the stupidest and/or best thing I’ve ever done.

[Ed. note -- Be sure to tell us what you think players who didn't make Danger's list probably smell like in the comments section. The best one wins a prize, which will probably be scratch-n-sniff stickers]

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The Dodgers are bankrupt, and their situation isn’t getting any better. From a report posted last night on CBS Sports’ Eye on Baseball:

The Los Angeles Dodgers — who recently filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection — issued payroll checks to some “game day staff members” that bounced, according to TMZ.com. The website actually obtained a check for $497.54 that shows it was returned to the employee by the bank and was stamped with “refer to maker,” which means there were insufficient funds in the Dodgers’ account. The check was signed by Dodgers owner Frank McCourt and issued on June 24. TMZ notes the Dodgers said that some checks did bounce but have since been reissued.

In the meantime, Dodgers employees better not spend their money until their paycheck definitely clears.

And that brings us to today’s Dugout, which covers the bouncing checks and finds out exactly what Frank McCourt has been doing with his giant pile of burning money. It follows.

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If real life carried hashtags, there would be a big #whitepeopleproblems at the end of every story about David Ortiz flipping his bat after a home run and pissing off the Yankees. The way people have been reacting you’d think he flipped his bat, punched Mark Teixeira in the dick on the way around, blew a kiss to A.J. Burnett on his way past third and toppled a makeshift set of Red Sox-played bowling pins as he pantomimed an exploding bomb at home plate. Nope, he basically just did what he always did, and even the smallest charismatic outbursts must be smothered to death by Major League Baseball.

Before you read today’s Dugout, click the hashtag up there and catch up on the story. When you’re done, be sure to hop over to Facebook and “like” The Dugout, so you can have an additional page on the Internet where I’m begging you to leave comments.

Today’s Dugout follows.

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Manny Ramirez is retiring. I guess that’s what six losing games with Kyle Farnsworth will do to you. Major League Baseball announced the move in a statement on Friday.

“Major League Baseball recently notified Manny Ramirez of an issue under Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program,” the statement said. “Rather than continue with the process under the Program, Ramirez has informed MLB that he is retiring as an active player. If Ramirez seeks reinstatement in the future, the process under the Drug Program will be completed. MLB will not have any further comment on this matter.”

Manny leaves behind a legacy of being one of the best hitters and most insane, illogical human beings of his generation. Two World Series championships in Boston are matched by how he used to disappear into the Green Monster to pee. Twelve All-Star selections, and that time he caught a ball, ran up the outfield wall and high-fived a guy. 555 home runs and over 1,800 runs batted in. Dreadlocks wigs, shifty motivation and pronouncing “Boston Red Sox” as “boson red sogs” in his intro video to MVP Baseball.

Ramirez has been one of the most memorable characters in The Dugout since its inception, running around and making airplang noises and playing spies, and if my inability to let go of Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds is any indication, Manny will be being Manny well into the future. We at With Leather wish him the best in his future endeavors, which I guess are sitting around in his underwear and watching cartoons.

/glare

Something’s not quite right about baseball season this year. Maybe it needs time to settle. The Baltimore Orioles are 4-0. The Tampa Bay Rays added some big name free agents to their roster and they’ve yet to win a game. Cats and dogs are living together. Mass hysteria.

Whatever the problem, it’s time for the Rays to come together and figure out how to start winning ball games. Tonight they take on the Angels, and because you have never heard a joke about how long that team’s name is before, here is another one: The Los Angeles California Angels of the West Coast of the United States Area Code 90012 But Actually Anaheim.

Today’s Dugout follows.

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Right now, there’s a severe lack of MLB news. The hot stove of free agency has cooled off by now, and there are only a handful of valuable free agents left; however, that doesn’t mean we should just forget about them. I present to you… the Warm Stove.

Adrian Beltre: Even though he had his second-best season in his career in 2010 with 28 HR, 102 RBI and an OBP of .365, the main reason why Beltre hasn’t been signed yet is due to his age. Teams just don’t know if Beltre could have that productivity constantly at 31. He will find a team shortly, but I doubt he’ll come close to his numbers last season. That stint still did what it was supposed to do: up his value and make his case for a multi-year contract, which he will land.
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