Seriously, I love British people. But this Craig Bellamy from Manchester City is just a little bit testy. Watch him unload on this Manchester United fan, and everyone’s afraid it was going to overshadow a great game between Man U and whatever that other team was.

Man United players immediately came up to Bellamy and expressed their disdain at the Welshman’s actions.

The video also shows Javier Garrido being struck by a coin thrown by a Manchester United supporter at half-time. via.

It doesn’t really look like a punch until you see a still of the whole thing, and then it’s pretty obvious that, yeah, he pretty much decked the guy. Dude’s no LeGarrette Blount, but that’s not bad for a wimpy little Briton. But at that point, the security people have to cut that fan loose and let him go after Bellamy. Anyone can be a hero when the other guy has his arms tied up.

Don’t think of this a soccer story so much as it’s a triumph of capitalism in the most pinko sport in the world. Spanish soccer juggernaut Real Madrid extended a €93 million bid (almost $131 million US, or 13.1 million bags of weed) to English team Manchester United for the services of Christiano Ronaldo (not pictured), considered the best player in the world by people that care about that sort of thing.

The remarkable bid comes just days after the Spanish giants signed Brazilian Kaka from AC Milan for a then-world record sum, maginally short of £57.5m [about $94m US]. Former United manager Tommy Doherty told Sky News the deal was good news for United, but a further indication “the game’s gone mad”. |Sky News|

After purchasing the rights of two of the most sought-after players in the world [a transfer is basically a trade for cash], some people are left wondering where Real Madrid will find the money.

Xavier Sala i Martin, Exectutive at Barcelona FC does not understand how Real Madrid and Florentino Perez, who have admitted to having huge debts recently, can suddenly gain access to the huge sums of cash they are now spending.

“I do not know where the €300 million that Florentino Perez thinks he has for signings actually comes from,” Sala i Martin told radio station, RAC1. “Florentino Perez says he will recover that money by selling shirts but, in order to do that, he will have to sell 30 million shirts. That is impossible.” |via News Bizarre|

I don’t know anything about soccer (that’s the game with the really skinny swords where they all wear white, isn’t it?) but $225 million is a lot of money to just buy the rights of two players. But hey, here we are on Thursday morning talking soccer. Which means we might be totally screwed for topics once the NBA and NHL playoffs are over.

|WAG img from Uncoached|

In the wake of the UEFA Champions League final and crazy-assed soccer fandom worldwide, a bus driver in Nigeria who also happened to be a Manchester United fan ran over four celebrating FC Barcelona fans after Barca defeated Man U 2-0. From the monolith:

The crowd in the town of Ogbo were celebrating Barcelona’s victory after Wednesday night’s match when the bus drove into them. A police spokeswoman said 10 people were injured and the driver was arrested.

“The driver had passed the crowd then made a U-turn and ran into them,” she said.

I’m really just blown away by this whole thing; it’s as weird as a couple of African-Americans in Florida getting into a fistfight over the Stanley Cup final. But I think people that are really diehard for one team have to be a frustrated lot. And I’d think bus drivers in Nigeria would have plenty on their plates to begin with. I’m sure they come home to their wives after a rough day and scream, “One of these days, Umbachukwu! Bang, zoom, to the moon!”

I have no idea how this soccer business works over in Europe. I just watched Manchester United beat Hull City on Comcast Sports Net, and now, 45 minutes later, Man U is playing again, this time against FC Barcelona. I guess tonight they’ll fly across the pond and play the Mets tomorrow in a doubleheader.

I took Man U and the over (2.5) so spoil away if you want. Here’s video of the finish of last year’s UEFA Champions League final (is there a shorthand for that?), where Man U beat Chelsea on penalty kicks. Hey, they’re playing in the rain. But where are their sticks? I know nothing about soccer…

I didn’t know who Carlos Tevez was, even though he plays for arguably the most famous fútbol club in the world. So maybe it was to his benefit that he bought himself a $225,000 Bentley–and then had it promptly seized by police.

Argentinian striker Tevez, 25, was pulled over while driving to the training ground on the M60 because his windows were too heavily tinted.

Officers then found he did not have a full UK licence. Tevez could now be charged.

Police took the £150,000 white car to a compound because he had no one to drive it home.

Yeah, so the guy buys a car he’s not legally allowed to drive. Nothing to make fun of there. Except for this photoshop, which I don’t really understand. Is he in the car? Or did he stick a Fathead of himself on the hood? I don’t get it, either, but I’m sure in Britian this sort of thing is hilarious.
[The Sun]

Manchester United star/prostitute aficionado Cristiano Ronaldo was driving from Manchester Airport when he totaled his $300,000 Ferrari.  Somewhat less importantly, Ronaldo was unharmed.  No other cars were involved, it was 10:00 in the morning, and the only “road condition” of note is that he was driving in a tunnel.  In other words, he drives like a sixteen-year-old Valley girl.

A witness said: “The front of Ronaldo’s car was completely mangled. There was metal all over the road and debris – and we had to dodge our way through it. Ronaldo was just standing at the side of the road looking forlorn and bewildered.

“My daughter said to me, ‘Oh my God – that’s Cristiano Ronaldo!’ It’s amazing he was okay because his car looked so bad.”

I just hate it when bad things happen to responsible, respectful role models like Cristiano Ronaldo.  Do you have any idea how much this must affect him?  Three hundred thousand dollars is his hooker budget for two whole months!

(Also: SCP / WWTDD – UPDATE: another photo here)