I always appreciate when things get added to soccer to make it more difficult — random MMA rules, firecrackers, whatever — but my new favorite unnecessary soccer accoutrement is BLINDFOLDS, because apparently telepathic soccer is a thing. You know, like when Luke put on a helmet and tried to block shit with his lightsaber in Star Wars. Exactly like that.

Legendary Manchester United strikers Dwight Yorke and Andrew Cole put Wayne Rooney, Danny Welbeck and Javier Hernandez to the test in a Telepathic Football challenge organised by bwin, the club’s official online gaming and betting partner.

All joking aside, it’s a really cute and endearing clip, and no amount of Believing In My Partner could will me to score a soccer goal in pitch blackness. Pun intended. But no, I couldn’t kick a soccer ball out of the air if you let me use all five senses, stood five feet in front of me and calmly said, “I’m going to lob the ball at your foot now.”

I think the next step should be to organize a completely blindfolded (emblindfoldened?) game, with people just running and kicking blindly into each other. Put blindfolds on the fans, too, and let them react to bone break noises and headbutt echoes. Do the entire thing telepathically, is what I’m saying. Let’s just stay home and pretend soccer!

[h/t to Dirty Tackle]

Happy October 19th! Season 4 of NBC’s woefully-undersupported-by-anyone-without-a-Tumblr ‘Community’ begins tonight!

To celebrate, this week’s Sports On TV column looks back at the 20 greatest sports moments from the show’s first three seasons. It’s a confusing mass of spaceships and ‘Glee’ slams and paintball epics, and it’s absolutely worth revisiting and celebrating.

Here’s the best way to enjoy tonight’s premiere: read this column. Click the like button. Share it on Reddit or Facebook or Tumblr (especially Tumblr). Drop a comment in the comments section about your favorite episodes, moments, quotes and character pairings. Come up with a fun name for them (suggestion: StarPelt). Flip through the 20 greatest sports moments dozens of times over the next few hours. Then, totally forget that ‘Community’ actually comes on television and decide to watch it on Hulu tomorrow morning. Because guess what? That’s the only way ‘Community’ has ever worked.

Please enjoy ‘Community’s’ 20 Greatest, Streets Ahead Sports Moments.

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Imagine yourself winning your first grand slam victory. Imagine that it comes after you’ve lost four times in the final of a major and six times in the semis. Now imagine yourself spinning around and catching a glimpse of the crowd. What’s the best thing that could happen here? The best thing in the entire world. What would it be?

If you answered, “Sean Connery pumping his fist”, you are correct.

In addition to his relentless defence, his unyielding will to win and the support of a sympathetic crowd, Andy Murray had one other slight advantage over Novak Djokovic in Monday’s US Open final.

Only Murray had the original James Bond on his side.

Actor Sean Connery watched from courtside, clapping, yelling and even fist-pumping each time his fellow Scotsman won a crucial point. Murray rewarded Connery by eking out a five-set win in nearly five hours, his long-awaited first Grand Slam victory after four previous losses in the final of a Major and six in the semi-finals. (via Tramlines)

The only way it could’ve been better is if the Earth had suddenly split open, and Murray had to choose between saving his U.S. Open trophy or getting out of the stadium alive. Or if cops had rushed in to find Connery, only to have Murray tell them he “vaporized” and been blown out to sea.

Anyway, if that wasn’t the most delightfully Scottish thing you’ve ever heard, check out this conversation between Murray, Murray’s mom and Manchester United coach Sir Alex Ferguson. It is so European, Keira Knightley may drift into the middle of it in a bonnet.

Murray [to his mom]: “You smell of wine”

Judy [nodding at Ferguson]: “He made me have wine. He’s just been telling me that Scotland invented the world.”

Sir Alex replied: “Hands up, I did.”

While you recover from that, here is the legendary fist pump, in both GIF and “recorded with a calculator” forms.

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Yesterday while going through some old images in my “SFW” folders, I came across this photo from a recent “friendly” match between the New England Revolution and Manchester United. On the left, you’ll notice that less-than-thrilled trophy-bearer is Man. U defender Nemanja Vidic. He’s meaningless to us, because he has completely been dwarfed by that pint-sized powerhouse to his right.

I don’t know that kid’s name, nor do I know why he’s hanging out with Vidic. Bottom line – I don’t care. That kid is awesome, and I couldn’t hide my desire to turn him into our latest Photoshop superstar. Exciting soccer kid is going far, so let’s get in on the ground floor.

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This is the closest I’ve seen soccer get to pick-up basketball, and from the look of things it was almost as competitive. For the second year in a row, Manchester United faced the Major League Soccer All-Stars and soccer’d them to death, winning 4-0 and scoring self-alley-ooped goals that could qualify as late series run Dragonball fights.

In this instance, Dimitar Berbatov (who sounds like a weapon in Goldeneye) makes the Houston Dynamo goaltender look like Brandon from ‘With Leather’ by simply chipping the ball over his head. Instead of going in, the ball hits the crossbar, so Berbatov simply plays it off his chest and buzzsaw kicks it in. The goalie might as well have been on a break. And what did Berbatov think about his beautiful goal?

“I always tend to think my goal are beautiful.”

In a related story, I think I’m gonna try out for one of these MLS teams and see if I can’t get a free trip to Europe out of it.

[h/t Dirty Tackle]

British tabloids are “blazing hot” this morning after Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney tweeted the first photo of his hair transplant, because British tabloids spent a month talking about that one lady’s wedding hat and get bent out of shape over everything. Within minutes the Daily Mail had constructed a 10,000-word essay and a slideshow photo gallery of Wayne Rooney’s skull scab. Rooney got a hair transplant because he’s a rich grown up.

From his Twitter:

Hi all there’s my head. It will take a few months to grow. Still a bit bloody to. But that’s all normal. #hairwego

After Tweeting that, he marveled at his hash tag and spent two hours coming up with great names for hair salons. Some of his favorites include “The Gang’s All Hair”, “Hair Me Out”, and “Hair-O-Dynamics”. He also suggested a nail salon called “A Show of Hands”. None of this happened. Hash tags are #thedevil.

Just to confirm to all my followers I have had a hair transplant. I was going bald at 25 why not. I’m delighted with the result.

The result? Having the same amount of hair as before, only now it looks like it was stitched to his head. But hey, if he’s happy, I’m happy for him. Does anybody know where he could find a really elaborate hat?

[H/T Busted Coverage]