Soccer is extremely bipolar. There’s no even, steady feeling in soccer. The spectrum goes from complete indifference (“soccer isn’t a sport”, “nobody likes soccer” etc.) to full-on passionate fury (throwing cups of vomit and urine onto opposing fans, running onto the field to commit religious hate crimes), and that’s not just for the game itself — it is a spectrum that includes fan reactions. Nobody sees a controversial soccer moment and says “oh, okay, that weird thing happened”. It’s either “meh who cares” or “THIS [racial slur] MUST BE BEHEADED AT DAWN”.

Case in point: During Sunday’s preseason exhibition game (or “friendly”) between the LA Galaxy and Machester City, star striker (and Iron Chef) Mario Balotelli was one-on-one with the goalkeeper. If he moved his leg slightly, his team would go up 2-0. Instead of kicking it, he started shuffle-stepping and tried to backheel the ball in. It dribbled out of bounds harmlessly and ended as a goal kick for the MLS side.

Now, my initial reaction is to type “lol” in lowercase and think he looked like a dummy. A second watch reveals that he thought he heard a whistle, so he was just screwing around. Neither of those reactions were shared by The Soccer Community, be they on the Internet, playing or calling the game. Their reactions were “this man is a disgrace to humanity” and “BLEARGHHH”. Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini was so enraged by Balotelli’s Tony Hawk Pro Shot that he immediately took him out and started yelling. The crowd booed. The announcers said YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN’ ME and said fans of both teams were disappointed.

At once, one of the least important looking things I’ve ever seen became a furious debate. Should I not care, or care so much it boils my blood? I can’t pick a side, so I’m opening it up to you. If you read this and have an opinion, leave a comment. Preseason miscommunication or treason? Let me know.

[via EPL Talk]

When Manchester City and Manchester United squared off on the pitch last weekend, not only were the teams going at it, but so were the fans. And Europe has pulled off something that we’ll probably never see in America–they’ve put a fan from each team in the broadcast booth and turned them loose. It’s amazing in concept and hilarious in excution. But all you can really tell was that Man U won this game 4-3, and really that’s all the information we needed. Cheers, Anthony.

Seriously, I love British people. But this Craig Bellamy from Manchester City is just a little bit testy. Watch him unload on this Manchester United fan, and everyone’s afraid it was going to overshadow a great game between Man U and whatever that other team was.

Man United players immediately came up to Bellamy and expressed their disdain at the Welshman’s actions.

The video also shows Javier Garrido being struck by a coin thrown by a Manchester United supporter at half-time. via.

It doesn’t really look like a punch until you see a still of the whole thing, and then it’s pretty obvious that, yeah, he pretty much decked the guy. Dude’s no LeGarrette Blount, but that’s not bad for a wimpy little Briton. But at that point, the security people have to cut that fan loose and let him go after Bellamy. Anyone can be a hero when the other guy has his arms tied up.

There's some soccer-related news about Man City midfielder Stephen Ireland possibly returning to the pitch for the national team of his eponymous home country.  Why hasn't Ireland played for Ireland of late?  Dead grandmothers and new rides, yo.

Ireland, who recently took delivery of a £90,000 Range Rover customised with pink wheels, grille, seats and accessories, has not played for his country since inventing the death of two grandmothers to engineer his way home from an international double-header last season.

Using my amazing Google-Fu skills, I learned that that Range Rover cost Ireland $178,911.  (Probably an even $179K by the time I finish writing this post.  Thanks a lot, economy.)  And worth every farthing.  I just hope for his sake that the UK doesn't have the "gay tax" that makes home furnishings and Broadway shows so expensive in America.

[Fan IQ] 

From 2001-06, Thaksin Shinawatra was prime minister of Thailand.  As I'm sure you all know, Thaksin was overthrown in a peaceful military coup last autumn.  So he did what any deposed world leader does: he bought himself a Premiership soccer team — specifically, Manchester City.

Thaksin's early moves indicate that he's dedicated to returning Man City to respectability in the EPL… you know, just as long as those accusations of human rights violations don't stick.

Human Rights Watch (HRW) claims Thaksin is "a human rights abuser of the worst kind" and should not have passed the League's 'fit and proper person' test… Amnesty International shares many of HRW's concerns and their spokesperson told BBC Sport: "Thaksin did preside over some very serious human rights violations."

The allegations include claims that Thaksin ordered "extrajudicial killings" of drug dealers (resulting in 2500 deaths in a 3-month span of 2003), suppressed the media, and granted the military excessive force in quieting an insurgency. 

In other words, Thaksin is slightly less sinister than Jerry Jones, and a much better human being than Clay Bennett.

[The Offside]