Because no one has demanded that someone buy them some Cracker Jacks at a ballgame in quite some time, the folks at PepsiCo’s Frito-Lay have decided to reinvent the ballpark snack of old, in order to appeal to younger fans. The first step? Giving the snack a brand new name that is edgier and more in-our-faces – Cracker Jack’d. BOO YA MUTHA TRUCKAS! Sh*t just got reallllllllllz, yo.

So why now? Why revive this ancient beast when there are literally millions of other things that we can put in our mouths?

The company is targeting younger customers, claiming they weren’t connecting with the old-timey caramel corn and peanut product.

“The product as it stands … isn’t relevant to them,” said Dave Skena, vice president of marketing for Frito-Lay. “Younger folks want more intense flavors and a wider variety of textures.” (Via the Huff to the Pizzo)

That’s right, we want intense flavors. We don’t want sour cream and onion. We want POWER CREAM AND F*CKING FUNYUNS! That’s why Cracker Jack’d will feature new flavors like PB & Chocolate (so radical it doesn’t spell out peanut butter), Berry Yogurt (how about BROGURT for short?), Buffalo Ranch and Spicy Pizzeria. I don’t know about you bros, but those still sound pretty lame. So I made my own list of flavor ideas that will totally f*cking rock your bullsh*t face into the sun.

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As we learned during Saturday’s UFC on FX 7 live discussion, Dana White’s empire has once again teamed with the restaurant franchise Hooters to make it the official watch party location for the new season of The Ultimate Fighter, which debuts tonight at 8 PM on FX. So if you’re excited about Team Sonnen vs. Team Jones – as you should be – and you also prefer your fried food to be delivered by the daughters of former hair metal video vixens, then today is your Christmas.

Alas, I type before you today with a heavy heart as the bearer of bad news. It seems, friends, that the fine people at the Buffalo wing breastuary have decided that Hooters, in spite of its empowering history, needs a makeover. That’s right, the franchise that helped a young Jon Gruden earn his first paycheck and many a sorority girl sidestep membership fees on SeekingArrangements.com is going “family friendly”.

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"Dude."

Since bursting onto the New York Giants’ roster as a dominating speed receiver, Victor Cruz has become the NFL’s latest prom king – that out-of-nowhere stud that captures the spotlight and is beloved by everyone. Well, everyone except for Cowboys, Eagles and Redskins fans. But you get the point, people love Cruz and he’s certainly responded well to the new found fame.

After the Giants won the Super Bowl, Cruz seemed to be on a mission to become a household name, as he was the focus of rumors and invites to appear from TNA Wrestling to the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in New York City. And while he hasn’t accepted everything – sorry, TNA – he has made some wise decisions, like cutting the ribbon at Fashion Week with Kate Upton. Seriously, biggest no-brainer of all-time. “Would you like this giant box of Ferraris? Or would you like to stand next to Kate Upton?” Not even a debate.

But now I’m starting to wonder if maybe Cruz is getting a little too big for his own helmet these days. I understand the excitement of being thrust from unknown to elite, but let’s try to mix a little modesty in this smoothie of swag, can we? Case in point: Cruz joined LeBron James and Amar’e Stoudamire as part of the NY Post’s Page Six fashion makeover, and, well… New York truly has him now.

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