Carlos Zambrano has told the Cubs what they already know: they stink. Furthermore … well, that’s it. The proper blogger stance is to stand up against Zambrano’s opinion and compare him to Ozzie Guillen, saying they’re both irrational, emotional “thugs” and any other words I can think of to whitely describe Hispanic people without you noticing.

Instead, I have constructed a web comic about baseball, and I hope you enjoy it. Today’s Dugout follows. Just make sure you watch the video I linked up there, so you don’t think I’m exaggerating any of these accents.

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Ever since Lou Piniella first announced that he was retiring from baseball, the rumor mill has been going crazy over who would be his replacement as the next manager of the Chicago Cubs. Some analysts predicted big names like Joe Torre, Joe Girardi, Tony LaRussa, Ozzie Guillen and Bob Brenly. Other experts predicted that the obvious choice was legendary Cubs second baseman and Triple A manager Ryne Sandberg. But nobody guessed it right, because Cubs GM Jim Hendry has announced that Piniella’s replacement is the team’s interim manager Mike Quade. Wait for it… wait… wait… QUAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!

Quade has some solid street cred and this might be a good hire for the Cubs, but I have to admit that I’m distracted by Hendry still having a job. I mean, who is going to co-host Baseball Tonight with Omar Minaya now?

Tell us about this man named Quade, CBS Sports:

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Cubs manager Lou Piniella announced yesterday that this season will be his last, as he will retire at the season’s end. The three-time World Series champion cited his desire to spend more time with his family as his reason to put an end to a legacy of base-throwing, chest poking and umpire screaming. His career as both a player and manager has spanned 48 years, during which he’s been associated with eight teams. Of his decision, Piniella simply told reporters:

“It’s been a wonderful experience,” he said. “There’s no way that I won’t cherish the memories here.”

But, he added: “I’ve been away from home since 1962. That’s about 50 years.” Source

The Cubs are currently in a tie for third in the NL Central, 10.5 games back of the first place Cardinals, and Piniella remains realistic that his team probably isn’t going to gain ground on the Cards and second place Reds unless they start winning series, as opposed to being swept or saving face. Cubs GM Jim Hendry said that he won’t name Piniella’s successor until after the season (*cough* Ryne Sandberg *cough*) and then everyone laughed because it won’t be Hendry’s decision by the time this season ends.

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