"I just... I just wish I had some pudding."

There was plenty for San Francisco 49ers fans to be bummed about in Super Bowl 47, from Colin Kaepernick throwing the first interception in the team’s glorious Super Bowl history to the team losing its first Super Bowl in six appearances to the questionable no-call on the possible holding on their 4th down play to the Ravens seemingly being offside on the 49ers’ 2-point conversion attempt that would have tied the game to not having Huey Lewis and the News involved at all. While I’m not necessarily agreeing with all of that, I’m just saying that 49ers fans are justified in their sadness.

However, that all ends today. Already underway in at least two areas – Bart at the Main library and Sutter at Sansome – Jell-O is giving away free pudding to the people of San Francisco as a way to cheer them up after their Super Bowl 47 loss. In all, there are five locations for hippies and flower children to get their snack on.

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I thought we all had a pretty great conversation about the Manti Te’o story yesterday – except the one or two commenters who sassed me – so I wanted to bring up two fun little updates to the story because they jumped out of my monitors this morning and smacked me in the balls.

For starters, one of the first points I made in my rambling mess of thoughts yesterday was that this is Deadspin’s baby from start to finish, because Jack Dickey (or Tom Scocca, according to Donald Trump) and Timothy Burke did a great job putting together a puzzle that neither Notre Dame nor ESPN wanted to even take out of the box, because (if they’re to be believed) both parties knew about this hoax for weeks.

However, there are other people out there trying to steal the Te’o show now, like the New York Post, which decided to do what Deadspin was too nice to do and expose the poor girl whose photos had been taken and used as the fake face of Lennay Kekua. So now this girl who had nothing to do with any of this nonsense, other than giving an old friend a picture because she thought it might make a cancer patient happy, is being harassed by reporters. For what? So they can have someone crying on camera as she shouts, “I don’t f*cking know anything”? Classy.

But now my favorite part. The part where I’m right.

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"If you're just gonna keep throwing to Gronk, I'm gonna go check out some boobies."

If the NFL counted Tweets as receiving yards, then Chad Ochocinco would have been the greatest single season receiver in New England Patriots history last year. Sadly, that idea will have to wait for the next CBA meetings. Ochocinco – who may or may not be changing his last name back to Johnson – has told the Patriots that he will drop his $3 million salary to $1 million just to keep his spot on the roster in 2012.

In the meantime, Ocho is still Tweeting away, and one man recently reached out to the once-boastful Pat to help put an end to his lack of confidence and non-existent love life. Ocho’s advice?

I’d love to produce a talk show for Ocho on which lonely losers ask him advice and his answer to every problem is: “Strip club.” Because, honestly, that is pretty much the perfect answer to any problem. Well, except maybe a combination of sex addiction and no money. In that case, the advice should be whatever the opposite of a strip club is. I guess that would either be church or a WNBA game.

Nevertheless, the girls at Tootsie’s in Miami have risen to the challenge and welcome Ocho’s lonely pal with open… um, arms.

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I was going to write a post boasting about how the Florida Gators have lost three games in a row for the first time since 1988 and how only scoring 7 points against Mississippi State is such a UCF thing to do*, but then I was lambasted by some of my Gators friends via email and Facebook and I decided that I will let the lizards stew in their own sucky juices for a few more weeks until they inevitably wind up playing UCF in the Liberty Bowl in Memphis and pay me back for my dickish ways.

Anywho, in female high school athlete news, a girl on a track team was recently minding her own business, walking across a track when she was unexpectedly BAM! YOU GOT RUN THE F*CK OVER, SISTER!

Chick Gets Run Over Crossing Track – Watch more Funny Videos

*UCF only scored 6 points when they played MSU. Stupid Gators.