"Oi, and then I pay dat pasty bird tree quid to snog us boff."

There’s been a running theme on gossip and sports blogs for a few years that when L.A. Galaxy star David Beckham attends L.A. Lakers games, he gets a little case of the wandering eye. Basically, he’s often caught checking out Lakers Girls from his courtside seats. But in fairness to the newest Burger King spokesman:

1) The pictures are almost always taken out of context, because cameras likely catch him as he’s looking around in between plays. I mean, unless you show me a picture of him holding a sign that reads: “Check out the milk bags on that one!” I’m inclined to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. (Counterpoint: He’s a billionaire with a working penis.)

B) Have you seen Lakers Girls? HOT and DAMN.

Regardless, David reminded everyone last night why he doesn’t even need to look at other assorted ass, as he was joined at courtside by his wife, Scary Sporty Baby Ginger Posh Victoria, for Game 2 of the Lakers/Nuggets series. The Lakers squeaked out a 104-100 win over Denver, but the real winners were the fans at the Staples Center who got to watch the Beckhams on the Kiss Cam and think, “Aw, they have everything.”

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On Sunday, the world seemed right again, as Metta World Peace turned back into the Ron Artest of old by laying a vicious elbow to the side of James Harden’s head. Artest said that the elbow was an accident – that he was just caught up in the moment after a big slam dunk – and he even Tweeted his oh-so-sincere regrets about the whole situation. Of course, his Tweets were probably borne from damage control, but hey – it’s the thought that counts.

For some reason, it took NBA commissioner David Stern two days to hand down a punishment for the elbow that had left Harden with a concussion, but Artest will miss the next seven games, including the Los Angeles Lakers’ final regular season action and the playoffs. If the Lakers are bounced from the playoffs before that suspension is up, it will carry over into next season. So yeah, Artest has learned his lesson. Again.

“I apologize to the Oklahoma City Thunder fans and the OKC organization,” World Peace wrote on ronartest.com. “I look foward (sic) to getting back on the floor with my teammates and competing for the Lakers fans.” (Via the Associated Press)

Responded Harden, “The strawberries touched the paper jam, pterodactyl Skittles surprise!” As for Stern, how did he and league officials come to their conclusion on this terrible incident, which marks Artest’s third major suspension? Just protecting the players, y’all.

“The concussion suffered by James Harden demonstrates the danger posed by violent acts of this kind, particularly when they are directed at the head area,” Stern said in a statement. “We remain committed to taking necessary measures to protect the safety of NBA players, including the imposition of appropriate penalties for players with a history of on-court altercations.”

Since Artest clearly has a problem that can only be contained for so long before he can’t control it anymore, here’s a fun suggestion – suspend him 7 games plus however many games Harden misses. Oh, and get the guy some serious, daily psychiatric help. And maybe wrap his arms in foam or bubble tape. And have animal trappers on hand to sedate him after big plays. Or, you know, just let him come back and do it all over again.

(Delightfully edited banner GIF via.)

Normally you’d need one playoff series win or the first three wins in a 6-10 season to get a fan anthem, but in today’s world of fast fame and every girl with a webcam thinking she’s Ingrid Michaelson we can find a theme song for anything.

Enter: YouTube songstress Stephanie K and her 236th one-minute song, “Metta World Peace Elbow”. She’s got an easy point to make (“a guy who hurts people shouldn’t be named peace”) and is ready to sing it like motherf**king Ariel.

Check out the clip after the jump, but be warned: you may be stuck singing “Ron! OH Ron!” for the rest of the day.

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World Peace elbowing James Harden in the head and knocking it off is pretty predictable, but what isn’t is how Taiwan interprets the Pacers fan brawl. I never knew it started with a Molotov Cocktail!

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Last year, after changing his name to Metta World Peace, the Artest formerly known as Ron set out to openly prove that he’s a good person with a kind heart. For example, on September 21, 2011, World Peace donated more than $285,000 to mental health charities after he sold his NBA Championship ring. It seemed as if he was changing for the better, ever since, you know, that whole thing in Detroit.

But I’m sure the better majority of us still had a thought all the way in the back of our brains – “When’s this dude going to lose his sh*t again and try to kill someone?” And all it took was a downward spiral in his personal play this season for World Peace to get overly excited about a dunk and try to decapitate an opponent like he did yesterday against James Harden and the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Artest – because who can even call him World Peace now without laughing harder than before? – was ejected from the Lakers’ 114-106 double overtime victory over the Thunder just before the end of the first half after he viciously elbowed Harden in the side of the head, but before we get all preachy, just know that the elbow – that you can watch over and over and over above – was an accident, okay?

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(No, seriously, that’s all I do.)

By way of That NBA Lottery Pick comes this preview clip of Los Angeles Clippers alley-oopist Blake Griffin’s upcoming appearance on ‘Sesame Street’. It’s basically the coolest thing that can happen to you as a celebrity (other than your solid gold house and rocket car), but I’m surprised at Griffin’s appearance, because I had no idea he could read.

Griffin’s experience looks like the one shared by anyone else who watched Sesame Street growing up and tunes in now — he comes into it expecting Bert and Ernie, but ends up getting shouted at by Elmo.

If this is a little passive for your Blake Griffin news, please enjoy these follow-up videos of Blake making Pau Gasol look like f**king Telly Monster.

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