Last week, ESPN finally gave the NHL some much-needed coverage, except that it wasn’t good coverage and it involved Stephen A. Smith pretending to be an expert on something that he knows nothing about. Basically, Screamin’ A wrongly compared the Chicago Blackhawks’ incredible points streak to the Miami Heat’s winning streak, which would be like me comparing Kate Upton’s breast size to Stacy Keibler’s legs, in that they’re both incredible and worthy of discussion but they have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

But whether ESPN was using SAS to further the network’s anti-NHL agenda or it was just a drive-by nut punch to a sport that desperately needs better ratings, it got us talking about hockey for at least a few minutes. I’ve long argued*, though, that the NHL needs to add some serious star power if it wants to re-emerge as one of America’s premier sports, and the league should be showcasing celebrity fans like Paulina Gretzky, Carrie Underwood, Elisha Cuthbert and Hillary Duff, among others, in order to bring more fans around.

And now we can add Katy Perry to that list since she’s suddenly a big Los Angeles Kings fan.

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In the style of our non-stop KIDS BEATING THE MIAMI HEAT AT BASKETBALL coverage comes this clip of Bailey, lion mascot for the NHL’s Los Angeles Kings, out-shooting Dwight Howard, a guy who gets paid to win at basketball. This contest of skills was made possible by the NHL lockout, which has given the league’s mascots a lot of free time, and the Los Angeles Lakers, who are currently 7-8 and still waiting for the NBA season to begin, I guess.

Here’s the recap, courtesy of ESPN’s Dave McMenamin by way of That NBA Lottery Pick:

Dwight said it didn’t count unless it was on the main court. So Bailey beat him at free throws on the main court. Then Dwight moved the contest out to the NBA 3-point line. They shot 3s from the corner and Bailey, a man standing about 5-10 wearing a lion costume, beat Howard, a man standing 6-9 and wearing his basketball practice uniform and sneakers as the first person to make five 3s.

That Bailey. He’s so smug.

Video proof that this was not just a Brandon Stroud fever dream is below. Warning: It is still not hockey.

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As great as it was when Paulina Gretzky Instagrammed herself with Lord Stanley’s Cup, it takes a back seat to the surreality of seeing George Papadapolis’ adopted son Webster Long (actor Emmanuel Lewis) posing with hockey’s top prize.

It’s even more surreal when you realize the picture happened on Kings center Jordan Nolan’s day with the cup, and that picture is of him with it, Emmanuel freaking Lewis and the Trailer Park Boys. I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Wow, way to go, Canada”.

As Sean Leahy of Puck Daddy points out, this pic might take the Best Photo Of A Diminutive African-American Sitcom Star Of The 1980s Posing With A Stanley Cup Champion title away from ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ star Gary Coleman and a nearly-nude Mark Messier. Your move, Rudy Huxtable and Evgeni Malkin.

In what has quickly become my favorite With Leather-inspired hobby yet – not counting dumpster diving outside Kate Upton’s apartment – I tried to broaden the horizon of TWiOESM by including a little bit of everything. Originally, I wanted to make this all about the Los Angeles Kings winning the Stanley Cup and the Miami Heat and Oklahoma City Thunder battling for the O’Brien Trophy, but that’s not fair to the rest of you that need pictures of WWF wrestlers printed on dictionary pages.

Speaking of, I received my Ultimate Warrior dictionary pages in the mail this week and they are pretty much the coolest thing I’ve ever spent $5 on. Needless to say, I’ve got my eyes on a few new things this week, starting with one of my all-time favorites – Legos.

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It’s always fun to watch a sports franchise end decades of irrelevance with a slightly improbable title run, so for no reason other than they’d never won one, it was nice to see the Los Angeles Kings win the Stanley Cup. The problem, though, with any L.A. team winning a title is that, oh sweet merciless lord, the celebrity bandwagon tips over within minutes. Hell, I’m surprised Kourtney Kardashian’s new kid didn’t pop out wearing a Jonathan Quick jersey.

But then there are the celebrities who actually have a vested interest in the Kings’ success, like our beloved Chosen Daughter, Paulina Gretzky. Sure, even if her pops hadn’t ever played for the Kings, I wouldn’t give a crap if she was posting pictures of her snorting coke out of Lord Stanley’s bowl, because I give special people free passes. Either way, Paulina got to party with the Cup this week with a bunch of dude bros, who could be players but I don’t care.

The Stanley Cup has never looked better.

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Since there’s no artsy gallery of riot photos from downtown Los Angeles this morning, we’ve got the next best thing: players dropping f-bombs in live post-game interviews.

By way of Larry Brown Sports comes Kings captain Dustin Brown being asked if the ever thought the team would win it all following their 6-1 championship victory over the Devils in game 6. His response, which is sure to be on Kings-related merch from now until the end of time, boiled down to F**K YEAH I DID.

As great as that is (and congratulations to the Kings … I can’t wait to start cheering for the Caps again when the 2012-13 NHL season starts up next week), it got me thinking of the greatest f-yeah-bomb ever dropped in a postseason celebration: Chase Utley’s WORLD CHAMPIONS~ in the 2008 World Series victory parade in Philadelphia:

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