Welcome to the first edition of With Leather’s newest, least cool weekly feature ever: SPORTS ON TV, where we countdown the greatest sports-related moments from your favorite, mostly not sports-related television shows.

This week’s edition tackles ‘Saved By The Bell’, an UPROXX network favorite about early 90s southern California high school kids who get to do anything they want whenever they want and face zero consequences. The show ran from 1989-1993, but existed in one form or another before that and afterwards until 2000. I’m not too proud to admit that syndication eventually showed me every ‘Saved By The Bell’ episode five times over, so we’re starting there. Maybe we’ll get to those clips of Urkel playing basketball next week.

Anyway, pre-column notes:

1. I only included moments from the primary run of ‘Saved By The Bell’, so that means no ‘Good Morning Miss Bliss’, ‘Saved By The Bell: The College Years’ or ‘Saved By The Bell: The New Class’. The TV movies feature the most popular cast, so I included those.

2. I really wanted to include video of each moment, but you know how the Internet works. I don’t want you to read this in two weeks and not be able to see what I’m talking about. Besides, the entire run of the show is currently available on Netflix.

3. Big thanks to the special guests who contributed commentary on some of their favorite moments.

And now, in no particular order, the 20 greatest sports moments from ‘Saved By The Bell’. If you’ve got a favorite sports moment that didn’t make the list, be sure to drop in on our comments section and let us know.

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The gentleman above in the automobile is screeching barn owl British comedian Russell Brand, who, by all accounts, does not use drugs anymore. So I don’t really know what’s in that little baggy that this Los Angeles Dodgers fan is handing him in front of a person with a camera, but it made Brand happy enough to hug the guy, which is odd, because I don’t really make it a habit to hug random people on the street who are asking for money.

And that’s what this guy in the brand new Clayton Kershaw jersey is doing, because before he gave Brand that sweet bag of homemade sugar, he was holding a sign that reads: “Afghan war vet, need your help, thank you”. I’m not trying to say the guy’s a liar, because I have the ultimate respect for our armed servicemen, but I gotta think there’s something fishy about a guy begging for money in a $100 jersey and a fat silver chain.

But maybe he could reach out to Kershaw and offer to sell him some of his homemade sugar. I’ll bet a bigtime athlete like Kershaw would love to help his No. 1 fan.

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Watch in amazement as Jackie Robinson, Jackie Robinson and Jackie Robinson turn a Padres-quality sacrifice bunt into a ridiculous triple play in the top of the 9th inning of Sunday’s Dodgers/San Diego game.

I’d explain things further, but who the hell am I to summarize what Vin Scully says? The play was birthed when home plate umpire Dale Scott called a foul ball foul, had an inner-ear fart and just sorta let the Dodgers finish the play. Padres manager Jackie Robinson Bud Black was ejected during the call, because I guess there will never be a situation where an ump goes, “eeengh okay sorry”.

“The whole play looked funky,” Black said. “I saw the hands go up. Our impression was that it was a foul ball. It happened so fast. I didn’t like the result.”

A few things I’ve learned from this video:

1. You should always finish the play no matter what, because someone important might not be remembering how baseball works.
2. The Dodgers are filled to the brim with serendipity this season.
3. Vin Scully should be baseball’s only announcer.

[h/t The Outside Corner]

If you’re already sick of Ozzie Guillen, f***ing strap in, because it’s going to be a long summer. Particularly if Guillen’s Miami Marlins run away with the National League East, as they’re already threatening to do. I mean, the season hasn’t even started yet, but they’ve already released Aaron Rowand. That is a CHAMPIONSHIP caliber move, right there.

Guillen is nothing if not a classy manager. On Thursday, GQ did a Twitter interview with the Marlins manager — which I guess is a thing that GQ does now — and one of the questions was whether Ozzie would consider himself a breast man or Billy Gunn an ass man. Or, as they phrased it, “¿Prefieres tetas o culo?” Guillen’s response? He’s all about the culo, baby!

@OzzieGuillen: Prefiero culo. Gracias a dios mi esposa tiene uno y siempre lo a tenido

If you can’t read en espanol, he says he thanks God that his wife has always had a nice caboose. Because he’s an old-fashioned romantic, that culo-loving sweetie!

Also on Thursday, Dodgers manager Don Mattingly appeared on Howard Stern for squares “The Dan Patrick Show” and the topic of Guillen came up. Mattingly, to his credit, called Guillen “a little sh*t” in a tone that was more good-natured than that quote would have you believe. As far as smack-talk goes, this barely even rates, but knowing Guillen, he will likely take it personally and instigate a brawl at the first Marlins/Dodgers game just so he can throat-punch the Los Angeles skipper.

Wow, I didn’t think I could get any more pumped for baseball season, but then I read that last sentence again.

[h/t for both items to HardballTalk]

NMA should turn this into an ongoing series. I want to know what happened to the poor Dodgers fan who had a McCourt lurking in his bushes.

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Links

The Animated GIF Bracket’s Final Four: Where Dreams And Nightmares Come True - YANKEE ENTHUSIASTS was robbed, that thing should win a Pulitzer. Please continue to vote MORTIFIED MICHIGAN PUNTER into the championship. [SB Nation]

Tommy Lee Jones And AMC Are Developing A Show About Football - I hope it’s just football guys going “I DIDN’T FUMBLE THAT BALL” and Tommy Lee Jones saying, “I don’t care!” [Warming Glow]

The 15 Greatest Knockouts in ‘The Ultimate Fighter’ History - Gifs of people being punched to death are a great way to start your Friday. Poor Solomon Hutcherson. [Cage Potato]

The South Park Memeing Episode: Instant Classic And KSK Relevant - Also, Everywhere Relevant. Here’s to hoping Faith Hilling doesn’t take off. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Conan’s Celebrity ‘Why Would You Tweet That?’ Bit Killed Last Night - Lenny Kravitz’s first love being “recording the same song over and over” is amazing. Maybe he’s like the lady from 50 First Dates. [UPROXX]

Two Boss Ways To Play Mario Kart - The day I was most jealous is when I found out the Cleveland Indians scoreboard guys played Madden on it. If I got to play Double Dash on that thing, I’d feel like God. [Gamma Squad]

Pranked Texas Granny Demands an Apology from Justin Bieber - Get in line, lady. [The FW]

Latest Entrant Into The Epic Drunk Hall Of Fame - A guy in a sombrero wears boxing gloves, jumps onto a cop car and shouts his name. Then he takes THIS mug shot. Worth your time. [Film Drunk]

Question Of The Day: Kidada Or Rashida Jones? - How is this even a question? What’s tomorrow’s question of the day, Alison Brie or the guy that plays Leonard? [Smoking Section]

Apparently Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Will Rock Out To Earth’s Crappiest Soundtrack - You sorta don’t expect it to be that bad when you read the headline, but holy sh*t, Papa Roach? In 2012? What is this, the WWE? [Pajiba]

Cats Vs. Dinosaurs - Technically don’t cats win for still being alive? [Buzzfeed]

Last we checked in with our favorite 47-year old Twitterbug, Jose Canseco, he was declaring his intentions to track down the diabolical fiends who were conspiring against his desire to play professional baseball in Mexico by making up bogus rumors that he tested positive for PEDs. So did Canseco end up getting to the bottom of that? Well, yeah, because it turns out he indeed took testosterone, and he admitted that to the league’s El Presidente and that’s why he was banned. Huge conspiracy, bro.

Or maybe Canseco’s lack of effort in finding the real killers conspirators is just a matter of being distracted, as the overnight news of Magic Johnson being a part of the group that just purchased the Los Angeles Dodgers for $2.5 billion suddenly made Canseco eager to prove that he can still perform at the Major League level.

Sadly, even as Canseco’s Twitter hugs to his haters are still delightfully fun, this tired dream of his has grown overly pathetic, as it’s less puppy begging for food and more old, juiced-up dude begging for work. Fortunately, Canseco also reached out to another iconic “sports” figure recently, and this is more of a job opportunity that I could completely endorse.

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