With the Phillies taking care of business last night after getting past the Rockies, the Dodgers have two days to get all of the beer stains out of the carpet before Philly comes in Thursday night. And as you can see from this video that’s already made the rounds to some extent, Dodger fans are ready for baseball. And flipping beer in women’s faces. This video’s a bit long, as if the guy behind the camera was still waiting for something else to happen. And eventually security does show up and reimburse the guy for his beer. I’m kidding, obviously. Or am I? via.
With two outs in the bottom of the ninth and the Cardinals leading 2-1, Matt Holliday lost a sinking line drive in the lights, couldn’t track the ball, and instead of catching it, appeared to take it square in the nuts. Most reports are saying the ball hit Holliday in the stomach, but I think they are trying to avoid adding insult to injury, because if you watch the above video replay (with bonus Couples Retreat preview! You haven’t seen that before!), it’s pretty clear that the ball drilled him square in the junk. The Dodgers capitalized on the error, scoring two runs, including the game-winning single by Mark Loretta that scored Casey Blake to beat the Cardinals 3-2 and take a 2-0 series lead. The Cardinals are perhaps now drowning their sorrows while Matt Holliday is icing his balls.
In other MLB Division Series playoff action…
Colorado Rockies 5, Philadelphia Phillies 4. The Rockies evened up their matchup with the Phillies at one game apiece as the series heads to chilly Colorado. Speaking of nuts, after pitching five innings and surrendering four earned runs, starter Cole Hamels departed the game and then had to rush to the hospital after his wife went into labor. I hope the Hamels saved some of the placenta to share with the whole team. If you have never sampled placenta, you must. It tastes delightful on a Chicken in a Biskit.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 5, Boston Red Sox 0. The Angels appeared to solve their issues with the Red Sox, at least for one game (Boston has beaten Anaheim in three consecutive playoff series), as John Lackey pitched 7 1/3 innings of shutout ball, allowing only four singles. Torrii (the extra ‘i’ is for ‘incredible’) Hunter got the scoring started in the fifth inning with a mammoth three-run homer off BoSox lefthander Jon Lester. Kendry Morales added a two-run single in seventh, Darren Oliver retired all five batters he faced in relief and the Angels took a 1-0 series lead. Call it the power of the Rally Monkey, but have no fear, Boston fans. I’m pretty sure the Red Sox will have their own primitive primate of their own cheering them on when they return to Boston.
Here’s video of a remote-controlled airplane that somebody decided to fly around for the Los Angeles Dodgers’ game against the Arizona Diamondbacks last night, and this is the kind of thing that makes me wonder why LA has any professional sports teams at all. If you don’t want to watch the game…don’t go. But don’t walk in with an airplane under your shirt and then put on your own personal airshow. Of course now, we’ll never find out who our aspiring Amelia Earhart was, even though this mission ended much the same way…poorly.
I suspect authorities will blame a very short race of Muslim extremists for the incident. Maybe. via.
The Dodgers acquired Jim Thome from the Chicago White Sox yesterday in a somewhat baffling trade with the Chicago White Sox. Why? Because Thome spent nearly all of his time on the south side as a DH, and hasn’t been in the field since he played first base for one game in 2007. But LA seems to be cool with paying a guy over $2 million to pinch-hit in September.
“We’re not bringing him over here to play first base,” [Dodgers general manager Ned] Colletti said. “We’re bringing him here to come off the bench and be a great influence in the clubhouse. He’s one of the true great guys in the game.
“In fact, the night before the deadline he called me. … He just said: `I just want to be honest with you. I’d love to come. I want to help you guys any way I can. But playing first base is not something I’m going to be able to do— maybe in an emergency situation, perhaps.”’ via.
Elsewhere, the Reds had a hard time drawing fans for their games against the Pirates; only about 2,000 showed up for the first half of their double-header against Pittsburgh. But who would turn down the chance to watch to crappy teams out of the NL Central? You know, besides everyone…
This is almost old news now, but there was that thing the other night where the Brewers threw at one of the Dodgers and then one of the Dodgers threw back at the Brewers’ Prince Fielder…I don’t get it at all, something about the unwritten rules of baseball. If nobody knows what those rules are, maybe someone should write them down. But anyway, the beaning of Fielder happened so late in the game that he almost didn’t have enough time to get upset about it. So he stormed the Dodgers clubhouse door. Yeah, Prince. Like they’re gonna just let you in. Obviously he just thought that the Dodgers had delicious barbecue buffalo wings in there. Why else would he have brought all his teammates? It’s always nice to share, and when you’re talking about hiring prostitutes for the evening, it’s more economical, too.
I read somewhere that basically said, “If Manny is this good, why would he ever do steroids?” Is it too much to assume that either (a) the benefits he enjoyed from using PEDs are still lingering in his body to some degree, even after his 50-game ban, or (b) that he used his time off to find a way to inject himself without getting caught? Either way, this is a mighty pinch-hit grand slam from Manny in LA last night. It doesn’t look like anyone’s too concerned with getting Ramirez to pee in a cup after that blast. Watching that sort of thing is always kind of a buzzkill, or that’s what my mother-in-law always says. Hey, how was I supposed to know that bathroom door wouldn’t lock?
